LOL...you failed to mention I was tired...and infirmed....my iron was low :|

Zimmeh and I texting each other:


:)

Leftovers....
 

:confused:

We went out to our favorite local Chinese restaurant.
We order enough to be able to bring home leftovers
for lunch the next day.

The following afternoon~

Me: Would you like any? <holding out container>

Outlaw: No! I don't want to order that again! They use dark
meat chicken instead of white meat. It was
awful. I was gagging trying to eat it!

Me: Um, honey? We ordered Tangerine Beef, not
chicken.

Outlaw: Oh. Yeah, give me that piece right there, please.
It is really good....now that I know it's beef!

Awwwww, this is sweet.

Justin and our roommate's (who is her coworker) conversation...

Justin: hey dude, why didn't you come to work today? You ok??

Roomie: ah, well I did some extacy last night...

Really!?

8/

*shm*

Heard on the phone this afternoon....

Me.... Just a sec
Friend... Sure
Me... *moving phone away, looking at the holy terror beagle.... What did you DO?! *goes over, takes whatever it was away* you aren't supposed to have that! *back to phone* I'm sorry about that
Friend... *laughing*
Me... What could possibly be so damned funny?
Friend... No, I was just saying to my partner, "i know that tone! He's talking to a dog!"
Me.... :/

At work..

Guy setting up for an event: Hey are you security?

Me: Yes.

Guy: I've been meaning to ask you something? Can I ask you something?

Me: :|

Guy: Is that illegal? Cause it should be. (as he points to a lady co-worker of his bent over and her crack is revealing and all we see is a string of underwear)

Me: Ummm.. not answering but I couldn't help but chuckle and roll my eyes. OMG!

Me: Do we have any english muffins? I'm hella hungry!
Hym: Of course! Would you like me to make you one?
Me: Would you make me two?
Hym: Absolutely! You outrank me now, I have no rank, you are a supervisor and I am a peon!

I wouldn't giggle but hy is a little intoxicated :wine:

I say .. you bring

Me: How about you go outside and try out your new skateboard?
Son: No, I can't
Me: Why not?
Son: There's something wrong with it
Me: What?
Son: It only goes left
Me: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA it's a skateboard, what do you mean it only goes left?

Apparently there was something wrong with the wheels

wayyyy early this morning, we were...talking....and heard snow plows going by

Me: did it snow??

Teddy: I don't know. Was it supposed to?

Me: I'm not sure...

Teddy: Well let's see...(reaches for his phone) :|

Me: (laughing) You're checking your phone to see if it snowed?? Whatever happened to looking out the window?!

Teddy: Well, my phone says snow...

Welcome to the age of technology...

I WAS holding u my dear. I never want to let u go. U forget to tell them u did get up and look out the window and QUICKLY git back to bed to resume the snuggle fest remember

I would love to know what was wrong with them. I'm going to assume they were round

With Zimmeh's Mom. lol

A random guy to her mom: Did you work at Disney?
Her mom: Yea I was Mickey Mouse.

Later as we are driving it comes up again.

Her mom: Did you work at Disney? Yes I was the mf princess..


LMAO!

Watching the walking dead

subway commercial comes on

bunch of people can't pronouce Feburary..

*Me... February, that's not hard to say*

*Her.... February, no that's not hard to say at all*

*Me, now spelling it... that's har... wait that's wednesday... never mind*

lucky I can laugh at myself and don't mind people joining me...

Gren

while at work.....
 

My client: Grab my nuts and come watch this!

Me: :blink:

He had asked for some pistachios and wanted me to see Do No Harm, since we had already said that it looked like a good show....lol

Yes, there are many moments of comic relief in my job!

Heard at work :

Client "Just hurry up and take it off, my wife could be back any minute"

Me : "Laughs to self over at the desk"

"that's it I'm gonna fart by you when your sleeping, lest see how you like it" said to my DOG...

AT WORK= "Just go in there and pee and leave the cup on the table there"...

JUST ANOTHER DAY HERE.. LOL
 

last night as I'm laying in bed and Zimmeh getting ready for bed.

Zimmeh: Are you gonna get ready for bed? Are you gonna brush your teeth?

Me: No, I'm gonna have stinky breath and stay up all night.



hehe.