The got married out of Province and they are now divorced. It'll take another 4-8 weeks (it's already getting annoying that I've had to wait this long -- nearly a year now). Additionally, its annoying that she's even on the BC.

Welp. Even though my dad won't speak to me, my aunt (my dad's sister) still does. And she looked up my grandfather's ancestry project, finding my step-mom's maiden name (spelling may not be totally accurate but.. ). It's a start!

Hey Everybody!
I haven't been on in a while but I had a some what funny experience. When I started T a year ago I was working on my college campus. I didn't work over the winter, so this summer is the first time since beginning T that I had to look for a job. I got a part time job for the summer with the help of an ex-girlfriend. I haven't had a name change yet (I've just been strapped for cash) and all my documents say female. So right off the bat I told my managers what my deal was, all were okay if not a little curious, however policy for this particular establishment says I have to wear a name tag wit my birth name. Not a big deal, I work in the back and besides I'm not ashamed. So the other day I stop in to fill out a request off form and an employee I never met walks up and introduces herself. I tell her my birth name (figuering that's how people in here know me). Today she happened to be working the same shift as me and she explained that she was totally flabergasted by my name and had called up an ex-girlfriend of hers (who apparently is also transitioning) and explained that she honestly had no idea. I really wasn't too worried about finding a job, but I am totally surprised all the time by the overwhelming acceptance. It's been a pretty cool experience!

I have to present my drivers liscence all the time which still has the original gender marker and my birth name. Nobody every seems to even notice the F marker .. they just think my parents were cruel. I think my birth name is unique enough that they think it's Like some foreign name that can go both ways. I've even had them comment "oh you poor thing" to be given "that" name. Unless it's an over the phone thing .. they still call me sir. On the phone they are extra confused but don't have the visual to go by ... it's funny cause it's like they over emphasize ms. then.

Hello Everyone. I've had some experiences since transitioning that I quite frankly while I thought I was prepared I clearly was not prepared for them. I kind of wish I had had an older transman of color (not necessarily in age) to tell me a few things in advance - not that I would have changed my mind but to prepare me, talk through them. I don't mean about trivial things like hair growing in odd places, or receding hairlines. I'm talking heavy things like what it really means to be a man in the world. How you will be perceived and treated; respected and disrespected, etc. after you transition.

Anybody else have experiences after transitioning that kind of made you have to regroup so to speak?

Gentle Tiger, First, I want you to know, you are not alone. I recently attended a Queer 12 Step Conference and was one of the two panel members that spoke about Transitioning. Two POC Transmen came up afterwards to speak to me about the very same sort of things you posted. I too am a POC and it has been my experience that a Latino male is sometimes treated much differently than a female Latina. I realized this as a young child just watching the life experiences of my father, stepfather and brothers.

I don't believe I have been living in the world as a Transman as long as you have but I do have a lifetime of being perceived as a Latino man off and on. If you want to talk more of this, pm me. Thank you for bringing this reality to the attention of your fellow Trans brothers.

Hey Greyson,

Yes indeed it is different. I had already experienced the being watched when entering an expensive as a black female. And I knew what in a factual and feeling for and with those who told their stories. But I now there is another layer because I now I am actually living the experience myself in my skin.

I definitely know I'm not alone as I hear this from time to time talking with other guys. My latest encounter caused me to think about the communities I interact with and share there. So others would know and not be surprised if they had similar experiences.

Hold your heads up Brothers.
Malcolm

:happyjump: I just checked online and apparently my Birth Certificate has finally been approved and is on its way!! :cheer: FINALLY! Now I can go for the SIN card and Passport. Hopefully they will be quicker! :blink:

That is so awesome! Congrats on that and good luck with the rest!!

I don't know that I can answer really. I had some pretty deep roots in the community well before I decided to transition, so I just figure no one pays me any mind because of that.

If there is something more specific you want to ask (me), then please know I will give you an honest, thoughtful reply. I certainly want to help in any way I can.

Yeah, I think I probably did.

I remember back a gazillion years ago at the site where I first joined this community. A post-transition FTM joined up and starting chiming in here and there, and I remember thinking... "Who the eff is this guy? He's not a transman. He's here to be an ass and hit on femmes."

Heh heh... Needless to say, I was pretty insecure and relatively immature in a lot of ways back then. Now, I wasn't overtly cruel to this guy; but I did not go out of my way to make him feel welcome either. Keep in mind, too, that he stated directly that he was straight and never identified as butch. At that time in my life, that was all I needed to "not like him". Again...my insecurities and immaturity at play.

I realize that's just me and that I can't project that kind of behavior on to any other member here. But... ;) I suspect there might be one or two (or 80) members who would be as suspicious now as I was back then.....perhaps even offering up a less than warm reception to the newcomer.

I'm just guessing, but I think what probably drives it is wondering why a straight guy would join up at a queer site. Folks see that and get suspicious.......and protective. Think about it... We've already seen the question, "Why would a man want to be at a queer site?" If that's the overarching question when dealing with this man...the lens through which you view him.....then you (general you) aren't going to be completely open and welcoming.

I don't have a local BF community, however when I lived in Park County I was accepted and warmly welcomed by a community of women, and that has not changed, since I became Liam. I did not feel particularly welcomed when I came here, and I left for a few months after I signed up.

I don't know.

It's difficult to be accepted. I've experienced this off site. As far as on line, I think its difficult because it seems you can't say a without being criticized or called on it some how. That doesn't have anything to do with gender, it's just difficult here.

I will give this some thought and then respond.

No, not really. I can't expect to be validated based on what people think of me.
Masculinity comes from me—from the inside. Am I welcomed as a man by others? No, I don't think so. Except for fellow FTMs.
They are the ones who get it. Thanks for asking.