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-   The Fluffy Stuff: Flirting, Humor, Chat (http://www.butchfemmeplanet.com/forum/forumdisplay.php?f=17)
-   -   Shit Heard Around this House!! (http://www.butchfemmeplanet.com/forum/showthread.php?t=2496)

Gemme 01-09-2011 09:17 PM

Me: Hey, honey! They found a 112 year old ship in Michigan.

Ebon: Oh, hey! Was it Noah's Arc?

Me: No, smartass. It's the L.R. Doty.

Ebon: Uh huh.

Me: *reads from the article* It's been perfectly preserved by the cold water. And was the largest wooden vessel to not be accounted for.

Ebon: Yeah. Didn't they think to look in the water before now?

Me: *swats at him*

Me: Did you know that there's a Wisconsin Underwater Archaeology Association?

Ebon: Wow!

Me: No, actually, it's WUAA. *over-pronounces it*

:blink:

Ebon: :rofl:

christie 01-10-2011 03:53 AM

My mantras for 2011 -

"I can't fix stupid."

"My money is on crazy."

Blade 01-10-2011 08:47 AM

conversation about me having made coffee yesterday

me..I aint a good coffee maker

sweet..it's easy just read the bag

me...I did it said 1 tablespoon

sweet...teaspoon

me...no says tablespoon...how bout you go make us some good coffee

sweet...grumbling something as she went to trump me on the tablespoon vs teaspoon

Moments later
sweet...CALEB

sweet...CALEB YOU USED THE WHOLE BAG OF COFFEE FOR ONE POT?

me...cracking up no I didn't

sweet...well the bag is empty....

me...:rolleyes:

miss entycing 01-11-2011 05:02 PM

Damon as He's going in the kitchen to make cookies-

Him- want me to make you some cookies?

me- will you make both kinds?

Him- was gonna

Him fumbling around in cabinet

Him- I can't make these cookies dammit!

me-oh good gravy- why not?

Him- cuz we ain't got no eggs

me- it needs eggs?? I thought it came with all that?

Him- uh, nooooo- it doesn't

me- who knew?

Him- well I guess I'll brave the ice and go to the store tomorrow and buy cookies! :eyebrow:

Random 01-11-2011 05:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by shadows papa (Post 255837)
Me and Miss Pink discussing being from small towns way out in the country of Tennessee and Kentucky respectively...

Me: "Well my Mama is from Franklin County and my Daddy was from Lincoln County so I know they weren't kin."

Miss Pink: "Well my Mom and Dad were from the same county but they weren't kin to each other and I'm not kin to any of my cousins either!"

Me: "HUH??"


Grin..

My mom and dad actually are cousins... hehe

BUT

they didn't become cousins until mom was three and dad was one, so I don't think it counts...

Kobi 01-12-2011 10:27 AM


After having introduced a friend to The Big Bang Theory……..

Deb: OMG, Sheldon reminds me so much of you!

Kobi: huh?

Deb: Sheldon is you!

Kobi: Sorry, I still don’t get it.

Deb: People, except for the inner core, seldom know what Sheldon is saying. How often do people say to you…you are speaking in tongues again?

You both have an uncanny ability to be devoid of expression regardless of the situation.

Sheldon sees the world in formulas and probabilities. You see it in behavior patterns and human nature.

You both can dish out the funniest sarcasm but when done to you, you haven’t a clue.

Kobi: *trying to decide if I am supposed to feel insulted or uplifted*

Deb: Sheldon dresses better tho.

Kobi: * me picturing Sheldon*


http://i1207.photobucket.com/albums/...i2/sheldon.jpg


Ok I’m quite sure that was meant to be a dig.

Deb: *giving hug* But I love your uniqueness.

Kobi: * Sighs. Has no freakin clue what just happened.*


JustJo 01-12-2011 08:48 PM

Fur real....
 
Two men answered my ad on freecycle about the (semi-creepy) shed I want to vanish from the back yard (and yes, Scoote agreed :) )

Unfortunately, it was already getting dark when they showed up...and Scoote was at work. So there I am, in the back yard, in the semi-dark, with two strange men. I do not particularly care for this.

Shadow (our mini-dachshund), trots out....barks twice.

Man #1: Hi puppy

Shadow barks once more, then runs for the doggy door, looking over his shoulder as he goes. Great watch dog. :sunglass:

Conversation and shed inspection continues.

Banshee (our boy kitty who is the size of a small pony) approaches.

Me: Hi Banshee boo boo

Banshee: Meow...and starts to purr

Man #2 (stepping out of the shed): Hi kitty

Banshee hisses, snarls, puffs his tail up and starts to walk stiff-legged towards both men.

Man #1: Dammmmnnnnnn.....you don't need a dog with a cat like that.

shadows papa 01-13-2011 06:19 PM

Miss Pink likes to sleep with a fan on for the noise, but I don't like it blowing on me while we sleep....so we compromise...

Miss Pink: "I have the fan on but it's not blowing on the bed"

Me: "Oh that's great, that'll work"

Miss Pink: "What we really need in here is a noise machine"

Me: (grinning into her hair as we snuggle) "We have one,it's name is Pinky" :pointing:

Miss Pink: "Fucker" :4femme:

Gemme 01-14-2011 11:39 PM

In a discussion about issues with my job..
 
Ebon: Have you started looking for another job?

Me: No. It took me so long to find this one and I don't like job humping.

Both: :|

Me: Uh, I mean job hopping. I'm going to bed now.

Ebon: Might be a good idea.

Blade 01-15-2011 12:14 PM

Me to Sweet..
Me..want me to fix you something to eat?
Sweet...no, I'll get something in a bit

Me..ok, I don't mind

hour later I walk in the kitchen
Sweet is cooking her breakfast

Me...I'da done that for you
Sweet....it's ok, I wanted french toast

I look in the pan and see an egg frying

Me....french toast? ummm ok...:|

Kenna 01-15-2011 05:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Blade (Post 266374)
Me to Sweet..
Me..want me to fix you something to eat?
Sweet...no, I'll get something in a bit

Me..ok, I don't mind

hour later I walk in the kitchen
Sweet is cooking her breakfast

Me...I'da done that for you
Sweet....it's ok, I wanted french toast

I look in the pan and see an egg frying

Me....french toast? ummm ok...:|


Damn!! This proves to everyone why you are always asking me where your glasses are!! There WAS french toast on the plate and I was just finishing up the egg as you stepped in the kitchen.... 'cuz you interrupted me, my egg ended up being "lacy". (if anybody wants to know what LACY eggs are...ask Blade :cheesy:)

As I remember the convo....
You asked "why didn't you let me make that for ya?"
Me: Because I had a French Toast Kick
You: :blink: :D now THAT's a post!! (and you ran off to the computer)

What I didn't say was.... I didn't ask you to make French Toast because of you trying to stick to your diet. :raspberry: :raspberry: that's what I get for being nice to ya?

TickledPink 01-15-2011 09:21 PM

Papa and I discussing an upcoming conference I'm attending:

Papa: "So, what will you do there?"
Me: "Industry stuff, same old shit every year."
Papa: "I guess I'll just be hugging my pillows while you are gone."
Me: "I guess I'll be hugging mine too, but, there will be ROOM SERVICE!"
Papa: "Bitch, you got room service here! I bring you chocolate and Ginger Ale anytime you want."

LMAO! Point taken.

Andrea 01-15-2011 10:29 PM

In the car, driving to the gym:

Me: I don't understand why you take a shower before going to the gym.

Rene: Crust on crust leads to barnacles.

Me: :|

Andrea

Kenna 01-16-2011 07:46 PM

my shower tonight reminded me of this old convo....
 
Blade: Which of these Muffy Puffers are yours?
Me: :blink: :blink: huh?
Blade: Which of these Muffy Puffers are yours?
Me: :| :blink: What on earth is a Muffy Puffer? That sounds like a new kind of sex toy?
Blade: (looking at me cross) You know? The blue Muffy Puffers in the bath room?
Me: :| OHHHHHH!!! :giggle: :giggle: :rofl: do you mean the blue scrubbies?
Blade: Yeah, MUFFY PUFFERS! Which one is yours?
Me: :rofl: None!! I don't used MUFFY PUFFERS!!


(there are so many Muffy Puffers in the bathroom and linen closet, I think Blade bought stock in Muffy Puffers!!)

Blade 01-16-2011 08:01 PM

Cracking up....well I don't know what the hell to call them...all I know is they suds up way better than a wash cloth and they are like a brillo pad and scrub the grunge off my body.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sweet (Post 267082)
Blade: Which of these Muffy Puffers are yours?
Me: :blink: :blink: huh?
Blade: Which of these Muffy Puffers are yours?
Me: :| :blink: What on earth is a Muffy Puffer? That sounds like a new kind of sex toy?
Blade: (looking at me cross) You know? The blue Muffy Puffers in the bath room?
Me: :| OHHHHHH!!! :giggle: :giggle: :rofl: do you mean the blue scrubbies?
Blade: Yeah, MUFFY PUFFERS! Which one is yours?
Me: :rofl: None!! I don't used MUFFY PUFFERS!!


(there are so many Muffy Puffers in the bathroom and linen closet, I think Blade bought stock in Muffy Puffers!!)


Kenna 01-16-2011 08:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Blade (Post 267087)
Cracking up....well I don't know what the hell to call them...all I know is they suds up way better than a wash cloth and they are like a brillo pad and scrub the grunge off my body.

Muffy Puffers :giggle: :giggle:
When you first asked me, I thought you had an Ex girlfriend named Muffy? Or a girlfriend who left all her Muffy Puffers all over the bathroom?

I think they multiply like Tribbles from Star Trek!! :|:blink:

Gemme 01-16-2011 11:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Blade (Post 267087)
Cracking up....well I don't know what the hell to call them...all I know is they suds up way better than a wash cloth and they are like a brillo pad and scrub the grunge off my body.

Do they look like THIS?

scootebaby 01-17-2011 08:25 PM

convo from Saturday morning
 
Jo and I were driving to Hope Depot then to Bob Evans for breakfast before going to beach

cant remember what we were talking about,but suddenly i :passinggas:

Me: uh my butt has something to say about that

Jo: oh please honey--ur butt ALWAYS has something to say

Me: :cracked:

scootebaby 01-25-2011 09:06 PM

On Our Trip to St Augustine
 
after driving up after i got off work..we had some dinner then showered and hit the hay

Jo and I were laying in bed cuddling when she said

JO: omg honey im gonna be 49 in just a couple of months
ME: no problem honey i'll put a downpayment on a ScootAround for you

:lol2:


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