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Doesn't anybody open the windows to get all the hot air out before turning on the A/C? Only for a moment or two. As you take your turns to ride through/get out of the parking lot the cross winds really blow the hot air out. Much more efficient, I think! ;)
Of course, I get in the car and immediately start moving as soon as the seat belt clicks. |
It was our 4th anniversary and began with an early morning snuggle. Rene surprised me by bringing me flowers at work. I surprised him by taking the rest of the day off.
We went for dinner at our favorite restaurant and had a wonderful time and had a great time celebrating our love. We then sat on our patio and enjoyed the breeze and each others company. I had some things to do inside so bent and kissed his cheek as I always do. Me: I love you, whiskers and all. There is a pause as I began walking toward the house..... Rene: Ditto!! Wonder if there will be a 5th anniversary. :blink: |
"you can let those cupcakes cookies cool up there beside the whips"
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"it would suck to be cupid"
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Conversation with a friend about her email getting "hacked" into..when in reality Hy was stoopid enough to share Hys password with someone else.
Me: Umm you're an idiot..paranoid much? Hym: Look, just because I'm paranoid doesn't mean there isn't people watching me, waiting to fuck with my head and shit. Me::cracked: |
Bella (whining to get up on my desk and lay with her pink blankie)
Belle: OMG i didnt' realize when i got a girl it was like having a kid most of the time. Bully: :| * followed by a LOT of laughter. |
I live alone, but I have a friend who hangs out at my house mainly for the normalcy in it...
*we're outside in the back parking lot in winter* Britt: You know... I just can't get good pictures these days. Me: Look. There are some dead fall sunflowers against that shabby fence. Tres photogenic. Britt: *wrinkles nose* Hipster bullshit. It's what's for breakfast. |
Putting away groceries this afternoon and handing Bully a cucumber
Belle: You know, i can carry it in my back pocket and use it when i want to. Bully: :sunglass: disclosure: I was talking about SOMETHING but it wasn't the cucumber :praying: |
talking to a friend, on phone....
ME: dangggg, I can NOT believe that...you should see what I just did HER: Wha??? Whaa??? Tell me... ME: I just finished eating a cup of Chobani Greek Yogurt..and was running my tongue inside to get rest of it... My tongue reached the bottom, which is almost 2 inches deep, and still could lick the bottom of the cup.....<grin> HER: OMG! That should be labelled a "WMD" weapon of mass destruction....:| |
"ok lay it on me"....
"stop licking my ass my ass" "no biting off the nipples" things said to the dog today :| and not by me OK add get off my hair to the list |
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no koment
From a text:
M1: Come be wheat and sugar free with me this weekend. I have no lead water, a normal pap, and fresh basil. M2: You had me at normal pap. M1: Ha! M2: Too bad you don't have a juicer. M1: That can be changed.... |
My upstairs neighbour has a beautiful baritone singing voice, and likes to sing hymns while he's cleaning. Today...
Neighbour: *sings "How Can I Keep From Singing?"* Me: *chimes in on high harmony* Neighbour: *stops* Come up here and sing that to my face! :D |
Anonymous: step awayyyyyyyyy from the turnips
Anonymous: no clubbing Daddy with a turnip Anonymous: googling body armor that can sustain turnip beatings *names removed to protect the innocent* (that would be me, being a good girl!) |
"There is only only one cranky/crabby person in this relationship and that person is NOT you... "
*I can be cranky...* "No you can't...... STOP IT, I don't want to be in relationship with myself.. you are my easy going sweet girl, I want you back..." It was soon discovered that Mitmo was coming down with her yearly cold and yes, is allowed to be cranky/crabby at that time... |
My honey's 92 year old father lives with us. The other day I was making lunch for everyone and asked him what he wanted to eat
Pop: Well, I wanted to have some eggs, but we don't have any more Me: There are a dozen eggs in the fridge Pop: But they are those organic eggs (said in the same tone of voice with which someone would say "You don't have milk, you only have chocolate milk") :blink: |
(horn honking outside) " At least that wasn't a pussy horn! When I honk my horn I mean business! I don't want it to sound like some demented squirrel fart! "
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"get your tongue out of my nostril"
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"ooowww!!! I just took you're vibrator to my head!!!"
I asked for a pillow. The pillow was thrown at my head. The pillow has a built in "massager/vibrator". Nuff said! |
Both of us half-asleep...
Hym: Did you know Ipecac gets rid of ticks Me: :blink: |
24/7
Phone conversation.
Me: "I'm going to pack in Portland." She: "me too, 24/7" |
Me: ...Skip, why don't you clean Willy's ears?
Blade: ... (speaking as Skip's voice) cause I don't like his ears and he doesn't like my tongue "... |
A long powerful noise in the middle of a thunderstorm
Belle: *running through the house, eyes wide and scared half to death.... "OMG DID YOU HEAR THAT THUNDER? IS IT A TORNADO?" Bully: No, no, no. It's all ok honey. It was me banging on my ottoman because the Lady Vols just missed an easy shot. Belle: :| |
The neighbours across the hall...
Him: For the last time, I want you to quit your job! Her: No way. I don't see you working. Him: If you quit your job it would give me a reason to look. *shaking my head* |
Kid: Mama...I'm freezing!!
Me: Cover yourself up with the blanket. Kid: It's too hot!! Excuse me while I recover my eyes that just rolled around to the back of my head LOL |
"Oh wow, I can smell your pickle!"
:blink: |
Bully: Ohhhhhhh how bout makin some of those good ole biscuits and gravy you make.
Belle: I don't have any biscuits Bully: Well, make them, like you did last time. Belle: Honey, those were from a can. Did you really think that i made those huge fluffy biscuits by scratch? Bully: Ummm yes i did. I do believe you were being duplicitous. Belle: :| |
A conversation between me, Sarah, our 15yo daughter, who knows I am trans, and her friend Alex, who does NOT know I am trans... in the kitchen with me while I was cooking dinner last year...
Sarah: Hey, Chuck Norris is transgender... Me: Sarah - Chuck Norris is so NOT transgender! Sarah: Um, yeah, I'm pretty sure he is, I saw it on TV (random arguing between Sarah and I about this...) Me: Sarah, I don't know what you *think* you saw or heard, but Chuck Norris is most certainly not transgender. Alex: Yeah, he's right Sarah.... and besides, you can tell when someone is transgender. Sarah and I were both like :huhlaugh: |
me: i just reserve the right to disagree with you about how hot you are.
my partner: you definitely feel like you have the right to express your opinion. (he then referenced a mutual friend of ours - they both have a habit of making jokingly misogynist comments like "look at the little woman thinking she has the right to express her opinion.") me: femmes do have the inalienable right to express our opinions or else you have the inalienable right to an ass-kicking. just saying. |
Heard on Skype ... "I'm looking for evil chicken and cockatrice eggs" I can't even think of a response for this statement :| |
email received: I was told about it by a femme in here...
email response: You mean they bottle up femme's and place them in here like a Ginni in a bottle? Can I rub one and get three wishes :tongue: :awww: |
"I can't text you and hold my weiner..." :rofl:
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Baby Luv to Luv: "No! Wait! You are a bad boi!"
It's not so much as what she said as the look on Luv's face when she said it. I think we both pulled a :| |
we were all in da midst o' cyber sex when her daughter-in-law crashed in and ruined our fun, i'm still poutin'...
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Last night laying in bed...
Belle: Wow it's so freaking quiet, isn't it? Bully: Yeah it is. After about a minute or two Belle: I don't hear birds or dogs or the AC, it's just weird it's so quiet Bully: I like the quiet. After another couple of minutes Belle: I don't think it's ever been this quite before. Don't you think it's really, really quiet? Bully: No, not really. :| |
Butch Mom Moments
Me: Dude. Seriously??? There is blue toothpaste on the bathroom ceiling--how does that even happen??
8yo Mancub: Mommy, I was brushing my teeth..... Me: HOW ??? 8yo Mancub: I was brushing them REALLY well.... I just looked at him and started to laugh, "That was perfect grammar, com'ere get a hug!" |
Miss Scarlett: Honey, I wish I could sit on my balls
ME::seeingstars: Miss Scarlett: Oh honey, not THOSE kinds of balls...the tennis balls....to help with massaging my glutes... ME::seeingstars: |
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Gymnastics was on TV one day when my oldest was really little. I wasn't really paying attention to it, but noticed her looking bored. I said "What do you want to be when you grow up Kenzie?"
She said "I wanna do flip-flops on that board and hurt myself." (pointing at the TV... it was balance beam) lmao |
da boss
During a phone conversation this week...
Kobi... The cat is whining about food again... Me... She is acting out again, you need to tell her your da boss... Me... Repeat after me... You da boss... *quiet* Kobi... Can I start with you first? I'm da boss... *snicker* Me... yeah well... ummm... no... nice try though... *fits of laughter* |
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