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Shit Heard Around this House!!
Hello Everyone!
I'm not sure if there is a thread for this or not, but I'm starting a new one anyways! Please feel free to add comments, stories, quips, quotes or just plain ole smartass things that get said in your household! I'll start it off.. Me: "The fan on this computer is loud, I'm gonna take the back off and clean it" Miss Pink: (as I am taking screws loose off the back of the computer) "Just remember you are a PTA not a computer dude" Me: "Parts is parts,right??" Miss Pink just covered her eyes and shook her head :byebye: |
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Too funny. For sure I will be posting here. Great thread!!!!! |
yup I actually have a log going of things we hear around this house.
One Butch Daddi and two femme girls make for some very interesting stuff! |
This convo just happened.....
Belle: How's it going? Snack: Good just trying to get past the man eating flower. Belle: Oh gosh. Now what is that on your back, a baby? Snack: Yeah he helps me when i need him. ~pause. Belle: now what's that purple thing? Snack: I'm not sure but it's not good. It will try and eat me if i get too close to it. |
Me: Here's what we are having for dinner tonight. Herb roasted pork tenderloin with herbs de provence, after it cooks I'll let it rest for 10 minutes then add the cranberry chutney.
Shad: It's gotta rest? Is it tired from the oven??? :seeingstars: |
Me: How was the cup 'o noodles? As bad as you remembered?
Organic: No, it wasn't that bad, once I spiced it up. Me: Oh, what did you use? Organic: Butter. Me: Butter's not a spice! It's lard. :blink: Organic: Okay, then it's spicy lard. :sunglass: |
a little background--we have a mini dachshund that tends to forget where doggie door is
(2:30am) i am awakened by what sounds like a low whining noise ME:dammit Shadow(the dog) you can go outside yourself (louder whining) Me: (louder as im throwing covers off of me) for the love of God Shadow,ur such a pain in my ass Jo: (sleepily) honey Shadow isnt in here,it must be me snoring Me: then roll over Jo: that doesnt really help yanno ME: then get some damn Breathe Right strips or something Jo: i told you those dont help Me: (under my breath) and you wonder why im so cranky all the time--i never get any sleep around here) Jo: what honey? Me: nothing--go back to sleep |
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Scoote (grumbling): Why the hell should you go for the study? Jo: Well why not? Scoote (still grumbling): Cuz I'm the one that doesn't get any damn sleep. :blink: |
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I don't know if it would help, but it sure makes me feel better. :blink: |
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lmao...i'll have to try that bc the elbow in the ribs doesnt really work :lol2: |
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Geez someone's getting ornery in their old age aren't they? :| |
heard in car on way to dinner
JO: Santa got the "family" a silly gift
Rooster: (excitedly) what? what did Santa get us? JO: i dont know im not santa Rooster: uhhh yes you are! |
After the doorbell rigs......
I got home about noon on Friday from Milwaukee....as I'm stripping off clothes (layers from coming from sub zero weather to 75 degrees) the door bell rings..... I put a tee shirt back on and answer the door....dude standing there... Me: Can I help you? Him: Is the RV in the yard for sale? Me: Do you see a FOR SALE sign on it? Him: No, but I thought it couldn't hurt to ask. Me: If there isn't a FOR SALE sign that usually means something ain't for sale! Him: How about not moving it and renting it out where it stands? Me: I don't think so.....Nope, not in a million years! Door slam!! :cigar2::cigar2::cigar2: |
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Murder becomes a VERY reasonable solution if one has not had enough sleep. |
Papa, commenting on a question I can't repeat: "Cause if I had a submissive bone in my body I'd pull it out and beat it with a belt."
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are you STILL getting drop ins about that RV? Put a sign on it that says "NO! I AM NOT FOR SALE!" already! LOL
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LMAO! We have a 74 Chevy Cheyenne under the carport that has been sitting there torn apart for about 12 years and get folks stopping by weekly asking if it is for sale. Dear lord folks.. give it a rest! PS.. Don't even ask why it is there.. LONG ass crazy momma story.. PSS.. We are looking for a small RV if ya ever change your mind! ha! |
At the dinner table tonight...
Me: (while showing Miss Pink my thumb) It's still got a big knot on it, I don't understand"
Miss Pink: "I do. Ya broke the damn thing and then didn't take proper care of it!" Me: "Oh yeah,there is that..." :doh: |
Me: Bear, I wish you would stop leaving your balls all over this house!
Bear: :| Disclaimer: Bear is my dog. |
talking with jo on the phone
ME: Honey you are not gonna believe this
Jo: what? Me: there is something living in my car Jo: oh my gosh..really? why do u think that? Me: Something or someone ate TWO of my chocolate Entenmann donuts Jo: was the box gnawed thru or opened Me: opened Jo: was ur car unlocked? Me: *snickering* no Jo: wait a minute--r u serious??? Me: no :cracked: thought i was gonna wreck the car i was laffin so hard |
Talking to a good friend of mine from Norway on voice..
Me: Whats your address? Her: you are lazy!! Me: Oh wait, I have it here on the customs form for your package. How do you say that street name??.. slowly.. Her: ((she pronounces it)) Me: ((attempts to pronounce it)) i am never going to learn how to speak norweigen!! Her: you have to pronounce the norwiegen "R" roll the "R" like this ..rrrrrr Me: well thats not going to happen.. there is nothing vibrating about my tongue.. its out of practice !! a small pause.. we brust out laughing!! |
Walking into Living Room sees Snack standing there perplexed and in deep thought.
me.... What's wrong? Snack....nothing i just can't believe she is pregnant too. me...WHO she....what? Snack...the blonde girl honey. silence me....What BLONDE girl. Snack....the one on there (points to tv) walks out giggling bout Him and His "All my children" soap opera. geeze. :sunglass: |
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Who's pregnant? I may or may not used to watch AMC. |
A romantic moment from the Scoote and Jo household...
Laying in bed, Scoote's arms around me...snuggling...
Jo: I swept up that dead lizard on the kitchen floor Scoote: You could have just left it for me honey Jo: I didn't want the Prince to step on it when he got home from school Scoote: Did you just pick it up by the tail? Jo: Ick! No, I used a dust pan and just swept it up snuggling.... Scoote: So now it's in the kitchen garbage? Jo: Yep more snuggling... Scoote: Why don't you just pick it up by the tail and toss it outside? Jo: Hey, you get rid of dead lizards your way and I'll get rid of them mine more snuggling.... Scoote: okay honey |
O: I'm going to the Beat Off!
G: Really? There's a competition for that? :blink: |
Me talking to Shadow the Ninja Assassin Dog... "Shadow you would make a helluva door but you ain't worth a damn as a window...please MOVE your butt out from in front of the computer!" My father used to say this to us if we got in front of the TV when Gunsmoke was on!
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after an 11 hr day,im barely able to move..i call Jo to meet me outside to get food and stuff
Me: (after she helped me out of car)i gotta check the mail Jo: i'll get it,you can barely move Me: its my ritual tho Jo: well not tonight Me: dammit u r busting my balls JO: you dont have any Me: because u busted them |
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Jess @ work yesterday:
"That's what happens when you just wrap yer lips around something and take a slurp" |
Honey, are you laughing in your sleep?
Yeah. Why, baby? You're two-thirds Tinkerbell. :stillheart: |
Pinky: (as I am in the bedroom getting out cold weather cycling gear).... "It's gonna be 20 degrees in the morning! YOU are NUTS!"
Me: "Yeh,it's gonna be cold" Pinky: But I'm getting up at the buttcrack of dawn and going with you to just stand and watch...what does that say about ME???" :cold: Me: "Welcome to the world of your cycling crackhead Papa??" :jester: |
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Shad's Mama (talking about thumb print cookies that she actually makes the size of HAND prints) "Sis makes them small so she'll have to get up and get them when she wants one, I don't cos I ain't got to!"
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we both lying in bed
Me: " Blaze turn the light out !
Blaze: , You turn the light out. Me: I was in bed first! Blaze : but your closer to the light . Ugghhhhhhh |
Organic plays LOTR on the computer. One of his characters, a goblin, says "Die!" when it attacks.
I SWEAR it says "DANG!" because they have made the voice kinda high and 'squished' to make it fit the character. So, I'll walk around the apartment when he's playing saying "DANG!" when the goblin says "DIE!". It tickles me to do so and makes me laugh. Sometimes Organic laughs with me. Most of the time, he just shakes his head. :blink: |
Me and Miss Pink in the kitchen making sugar cookies last night:
Me: "What's wrong with your snowman? It looks skinny." Miss Pink: "Huh? It got a little stretched out when I picked it up to put it on the pan." Me: "No baby,that snowman looks like it's been on Jenny Craig!" I got the hairy eyeball for about two seconds, then we both busted out laughing! |
Sitting at the dinner table with Miss Pink and Snack....
Miss Pink: (while looking at the Charlie Brown Christmas tree she got at the Dollar Store)" Papa, I think we got a slutty angel on top of our tree, her skirt won't stay down!" Me: "That's ok baby,she was cheap and slutty angels need love too." :smileyXmasTree: |
i LOVE this thread
sitting on the coucjh after i got home last nite
ME: did you wash whites yet? Jo: no but i can nah thats ok i got a pair of khakis,just have to wear a belt because button came off again Jo: well get them and i'll sew it back on few minutes pass,she starts to sew and... Jo: i had this button on good last time..what did you do to pop it off? Me: grew:blink: |
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