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My brother who has cirrhosis and is slowly declining physically and now mentally. He's had many, many close times to death in the past few years with it, but seems to pull through. However, i've seen a major decline in the last few months....I know he don't have much longer. He has always been there for his little sis and geeze how could I ever thank him enough.
He is not well enough, imo, to keep riding that motorcycle or do work around my house to help me, but he keeps going and it makes him happy. I know that so I just try and support everything he does. All I can do is be there hold his hand when needed and try to prepare myself and my mom for what is coming....way too soon. I hate that I can't make it go away. I hate that he didn't quit drinking 20 years ago when we all begged him to get help. I hate that it is out of my control. I hate watching him slowly die. I hate it. Breaks my heart. I love you bro!!!!! |
i think of my grammy everyday...she was my heart and i miss her terribly! i wear her cross and chain around my neck and it never comes off...she loved me no matter what! she was unconditional love....... |
her - cause we're spending this weekend apart...:bunchflowers:
mom - just because! (f) bro - always wonder what he's up to!:hangloose: nan & gramp - miss them big time (f) |
CrankyOldGuy.....cuz he's a Jets fan:cheesy:
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That flirty Deli Clerk. She hugged me and said she loved me today.:confused:
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Spicy.....bc Im intrigued
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My "Pa"...cuz I've been smelling his Winston ciggy smoke for 3 days. Ummmm he's been dead since 1982.
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My Momma...
Today I got a couple texts from her that threw me for a loop.... Mom: "Wish you were here, having Mousaka @ W.Shore diner" Me: "TEASE!!" Mom: "No I really do miss you xo" Me..... I told her how sorry I am and a few other things that I hope made her feel better... someone has to know the situation between the two of us... in all my years, she has NEVER said that she missed me... it hurt because I know she really does mean it and I felt how lonely she must be. W.Shore Diner was our favorite place to go and we loved the Mousaka... Today, I pictured her there alone with lonely tears in her eyes as she sent me her texts.... |
Ami...
Because she was on her feet most of the day yesterday, and had to turn around and work today...its her Monday. She was so darn cute walkin' like a drunk sailor carrying some water for me. :piratelaugh::bouquet: |
My son is on my mind..
I think about what he is experiencing now and what he has gone through the last almost year... I know it the way of the world, but it makes me a bit sad not know what his day to day is like.. What he is laughing at, what he is crying over, what has pissed him off... He is experiencing the world without me... As it should be, but somehow it just feels wrong... |
Thinking of my wife...always. She is working in another part of the country for the time being and I miss her like crazy, the feeling of her, out there, all on her own, can't stop worrying. Of course I know that she's able to take care of herself I just prefer to be by her side.
I will see her next week end though, longing... |
My mom is on my mind. Why? Because she's got herself stuck in a life cycle that she cannot free herself from. God be with her.
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Sissy.....cause I'm worried she's not coming back...
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People everywhere that feel strongly enough about something to take on a roll of "educator" to those that don't know about or, don't feel as strongly about the same thing.
Why? Because, I don't understand some of them. What's with the "force feeding"? I'm not sure that ever works. (Example of what I mean by force feeding, If I beat you with a bible, will that make you a Christian?) And why get frustrated/angry at having to repeat yourself to the next person, and the next? Sometime saying things more than once is very necessary. Seems to me, these two tactics of educating more often than not, teach people to adapt a tuned out fuck you attitude about it. (and the educator) No steps forward, two steps back is the result. There needs to be as much, or more, compassion and understanding from the educator as they are trying to teach some one else to have. And having an understanding that, they will never be done repeating themselves, for the simple reason, people will never be done learning. |
My Mom.
A person I used to be close to who is going through a tough time. My daughter who so badly wanted my Mom to live long enough to see her graduate high school....she misses her so much. My love...who holds me together most days. |
my best friend...he is currently in the hospital battling depression. i am happy that he asked for help. i know he will be ok...he is too strong not to be.
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Goddess..because I need Her right now.
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OXO |
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My Brother Mark, whose birthday would have been today, had he not passed away several years ago... He was 6'6" tall and had a smile that would light anyone up.
Here's to you big brother, I hope the surf is up wherever you are ... :hangloose: |
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