What fart did you fart today?
 

Just another fart thread for giggles because as Pamela Anderson said in her old column in Jane Magazine, "Farts are never not funny."

THE ORANGE OOMPA LOOMPA FART

Today I farted while on an elliptical (like a treadmill) at the gym today. It was a sour silent fart that lingered, as in my prayer, "Please disappear," but no... still there, perhaps even reaching a potential no one could ever imagine it would achieve at it's humble beginnings.

Unfortunately I was on a piece of equipment right next to only one other person. It was very clear who "dealt it." She handled my toxic gas with true civility and class by simply moving to an elliptical a few machines down from me, no 'tude in the least. When I've been in the reverse situation, I have not been as generous, instead angrily inhaling the stench while giving dirty eyes to the farter, who, of course, pretends that they don't notice they are being hated on.

I tried to diagnose my fart as I continued on my cardio machine all alone, as in, what created such a monstrous expulsion? I did have an orange and some almonds before working out, or was it the power bar, or some combination thereof. I had to go with the orange.

So, what fart did you fart today?

OMFG!!!!! You have made my evening!!!! You are an inspiration!!!

~subscribing~ because farts are funny!

LMAO! How'd I know you'd be in this thread PRONTO?!

I did a "scare the dog" and a "punctuation" fart today.

The "scare the dog" is exactly as it sounds. Gracie was sleeping on the bed as I was cleaning the bedroom and I let one rip. It was a loud retort, kinda like a gunshot, and it woke Gracie up and she immediately growled and stood up, looking for robber who was surely breaking in/wind.

The "punctuation" fart is the one where you make a long, vibrating fart but there is an "exclamation point" at the end. Like one last extra fart to top it all off!

PPFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF POP!

OMG...I *love* this thread!!!!!

I like the "question mark" fart!!! ;)

I truly do wish T-Rex would come in here and talk about the time I chased her through the lobby of the only 5-star hotel in Arkansas at 3am while letting the World's Loudest Fart :)

Great thread!
 

I just farted in the car on the way home from the play TF and I just attended. I had to, the gas had been building up! It was a high pitched squeal of a fart.

It didn't even have a smell for some reason...:blink:

Subscribing in solidarity, pretty quiet day for farts, here.

fart joke
 

This is a smelly thread lol:rofl:
http://t0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:A...e-57138784.jpg
http://www.fart-sounds.net/Fart_sounds.jpg

LMAO
 

Had to get in on this one!

the other morning while waiting on the front porch for the bus to pick up my son I let one rip. It was sort of like multiple shots with a pause in between each one. He said "MOM that was NOT a straight fart!!" I said, um what is a straight fart? He said you know the ones where there is a line of gas that doesn't stop!

I nearly lost it. In fact not two secs later I had a straight fart. Think that made his day lmao

bwahahahahaha!
 

I am quite fond of the

"Crop Duster"


Passing gas in a stealth manor, usually while walking through a crowd or a group, so that someone else gets blamed for the stench, or at the very least people besides the assailant must suffer it.

:sunglass:

I like the "fart and dart" myself! :passinggas:

*I* don't fart.

I just hold it in and let it out as drama.;)

our dog Gracie is the master of the silent and VERY deadly farts in our house and I swear she knows it .. desd will be GRACIE-LOO and then it will just linger .... like a fog
the goose she likes to try and fart .. on me ... no idea where she gets that from....

Was walking down the hallway yesterday and thy fart felt it necessary to be released. It was a "walk the walk" fart - bits being released with each step and thus butt movement. It was further punctuated with a statement "period" short and sweet definitive fart.

Just a couple of putt putts today, while puttering about the house. It would seem that I have become a shadow of the Olympian Farter, I once was. *Sigh*