Quote:
Originally Posted by blush
Perhaps I'm wrong, but it seems to me that both of these posts speak to that frustration femmes feel about pronouns. The one that acknowledges that sometimes it's fucking hard for ALL of us to keep pronouns straight. Yet femmes are most likely to be called out if we get the pronoun wrong. Why is that? To admit that it's hard sometimes is just that: admitting that it's hard. So what. It doesn't mean it's not worth it, or we don't fully understand the why and how of it.
However, it has gotten to the point that if a femme acknowledges that it's difficult sometimes to keep pronouns straight, we are slapped as not caring enough about a butch's or transperson's identity. We aren't trying hard enough. We don't understand. We want to emasculate you.
Are femmes held more accountable for pronoun mis-naming whether intentional or not? It sure feels that way.
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I don't think many butches are upset about honest and unintentional mistakes. I definitely don't think that's what people are talking about in this thread. If unsure all people have to do is ask or just not use a pronoun. It may sound a bit awkward but it can be done.