[Bit]

I think it's important to remember that we each read through the lens of our own experience. What we have lived--our own experience and the experiences of those we love--is going to color what we read and how we respond.

For instance, Wil posted about being a transman who goes to the grocery store and notices that the people around him (mostly straight people, I bet) all seem to take it for granted that their outsides match their insides--so much for granted that they never even think it might not be so for everyone.

adorable read Wil's post about a transman going to the grocery store, but she talked about the transman's experience of being acutely aware that the outsides don't match the inside.

That's two different topics--one is "how others see transmen," and the other is "how transmen see themselves."

Jess posted about not seeing transmen in the community as butches anymore.

Adele read Jess's post and posted about transmen and their partners being excluded from the community.

Again, that's two different topics. One is "transmen are different from butches" and the other is "do transmen fit in this community?"

I think the reason threads like this so often blow up is that people very often think we're all talking about the same exact topic, and don't recognize the different topics as they come up; then we get confused and sometimes hurt and/or angry. It makes it hard to understand each other.

I think, in threads like this, it's more important than ever to remember that none of us are trying to hurt or be disrespectful of anyone. We just aren't always speaking about the exact same topic, yanno?