12-07-2009, 04:26 PM
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#229
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Senior Member
How Do You Identify?: femme
Preferred Pronoun?: sea shell
Relationship Status: married
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: san diego
Posts: 1,687
Thanks: 1,927
Thanked 4,373 Times in 1,012 Posts
Rep Power: 21474853
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bit
What bothers me now is that to me, personally, it seems like Kosmo has been silenced--and not just Kosmo, but by extension all the Butches/Transmen in this thread. I read all those posts saying "why are we always the ones who are "supportive"? Why can't our partners be supportive?" here is a masculine person being supportive, answering a question asked by someone in the community.... but the response we give is "please don't."
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one way that we can be more-than 'supportive' of our masculine counterparts is to not speak for them (and vice-versa). additionally, there are times when the most supportive thing a person can do is *shut up*. (of course i'm not telling anyone to shut up, here--but i am speaking from my personal experience.) and stepping away from the conversation intended for a select group of peoples (like, dear femme...) is about being a good *listener* and not about *silencing* it's about the femme-peoples carving out specific space for those *femmes* and everyone respecting it. and no femme person in that femme-person space, as i see it, should be apologetic for saying polite but firm, 'no, thank you' when the very act of speaking-for is being demonstrated.
*Bit: i tried to get your font when i quoted you, but i had to guess. sorry for altering it. *
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