[The Oopster]

Originally Posted by DamselFly

i really don't expect anything. i'm trying to make my peace with this and think that i have. i like who i am and am at peace with the decisions i have made in my life. my spiritual life gets me through the days and nights. i must admit that this is hard sometimes, dealing w/dr.s a lot, having to make my way through bureaucracies just to get what i need to survive. i am thankful that i am able to do it, however, and am sure that i will adjust to being blind, just as i have to everything else that has come my way. that's a biggie to adjust to, but i'm a strong person! the Tao moves as Tao moves, and i will move with it.
namaste, my friends. i look forward to hearing from others!
DamselFly

Hi Damsel! I quoted what I thought was key! and put in black the biggest point. If you can do this then who knows where love may lie. My experience when able and when not as abled is that if I am at peace with who I am and my decisions and where life is at I am at the best position to attract someone, abilities don't matter. Many abled people without many challenges lack those things and struggle in relationships.

I am not as challenged as I once was. Was a point where I was basically in a wheel chair and bed bound, and way skinnier then I should have been. I have had several spine surgeries which have been successful as long as I dont get in a rear end collision again. Due to those and medications I was on I had developed chronic candidia to the point my body was shutting down. I still have minor episodes but have been able to move beyond that also.

For all practical purposes I'm probably as close to normal as I have ever been and will ever get. I still get every cold, virus, or whatever that passes my way, have to make wise decisions on the things I do physically, and watch my limits. Also have arthritisis and fibro but I am able to work again and lead what feels like a more "normal" life.

During the not so healthy stage i was in some relationships and it was hard but a lot of that was more to do with where I was inwardly. It wasn't so much that I wasn't at peace with stuff but I had a lot of time on my hands so what I felt were reasonable demands for intention from someone else really weren't. I didn't really realize that til I got healthier and then tried to work, be in a relationship, and juggle other interests and had the rolls reversed.

Now that I'm healthier I am currently chosing not to date. I still have issues and working again, trying to maintain friendships, deal with some other interests is about all i can handle. It seems like I'm majorily sick (over a weeks time every few months) Someday it would be nice and when it happens it will happen!

For me the key is to be happy and that will attract others when it's time!

Originally Posted by Sachita

First of all- HUGS to you all. I am blessed with good health, strong as a bull and STILL have trouble finding the right partner. No to derail but I think when seeking a life partner you must have things in common. Big things like what you believe, feel and how you connect. Everyone has pet peeves, deal breakers and disabilities in some form or another. You don't ever give up. You keep putting yourself out there, network with friends (Love comes in all forms) and curb the loneliness as best you can. I see a few of you here with some of the same challenges. As friends why not become partners- roommates, helpmates, etc? It would be cheaper and you'd have more support.

I will just give my 2 cents from my experience.

I think this works great for some people. Honestly sometimes I would love to be in a realtionship purely to half the amount of stuff I have to do. Not the reason to be in one but it would be nice to share the cooking, the laundry, the cleaning, etc.

A lot of it depends on how the two people are wired. When I was home bound and rarely got out it was important that my roommate was gone some of the time. Since I couldn't get away especially if he ticked me off I needed time that he was away so I could let things pass. Unfortunately even though the agreement was my roomie would be gone so many hours a week he wasn't. He was on disability also and ended up being home All the time. He could physically get out if he wanted but chose not to. That didn't work for me. I know that no matter how abled I am I need a certain amount of me time and me space. I find personally I am more productive during time that I am home alone then when someone is around and I need to have some of that time. Other people may not be that way and it may work. They may also have larger surroundings. The space one is confined to makes a huge difference also. Again just how I am wired and my experience.