being disabled....

[Sachita]

First of all- HUGS to you all. I am blessed with good health, strong as a bull and STILL have trouble finding the right partner. No to derail but I think when seeking a life partner you must have things in common. Big things like what you believe, feel and how you connect. Everyone has pet peeves, deal breakers and disabilities in some form or another. You don't ever give up. You keep putting yourself out there, network with friends (Love comes in all forms) and curb the loneliness as best you can. I see a few of you here with some of the same challenges. As friends why not become partners- roommates, helpmates, etc? It would be cheaper and you'd have more support.

[The Oopster]

Originally Posted by DamselFly

i really don't expect anything. i'm trying to make my peace with this and think that i have. i like who i am and am at peace with the decisions i have made in my life. my spiritual life gets me through the days and nights. i must admit that this is hard sometimes, dealing w/dr.s a lot, having to make my way through bureaucracies just to get what i need to survive. i am thankful that i am able to do it, however, and am sure that i will adjust to being blind, just as i have to everything else that has come my way. that's a biggie to adjust to, but i'm a strong person! the Tao moves as Tao moves, and i will move with it.
namaste, my friends. i look forward to hearing from others!
DamselFly

Hi Damsel! I quoted what I thought was key! and put in black the biggest point. If you can do this then who knows where love may lie. My experience when able and when not as abled is that if I am at peace with who I am and my decisions and where life is at I am at the best position to attract someone, abilities don't matter. Many abled people without many challenges lack those things and struggle in relationships.

I am not as challenged as I once was. Was a point where I was basically in a wheel chair and bed bound, and way skinnier then I should have been. I have had several spine surgeries which have been successful as long as I dont get in a rear end collision again. Due to those and medications I was on I had developed chronic candidia to the point my body was shutting down. I still have minor episodes but have been able to move beyond that also.

For all practical purposes I'm probably as close to normal as I have ever been and will ever get. I still get every cold, virus, or whatever that passes my way, have to make wise decisions on the things I do physically, and watch my limits. Also have arthritisis and fibro but I am able to work again and lead what feels like a more "normal" life.

During the not so healthy stage i was in some relationships and it was hard but a lot of that was more to do with where I was inwardly. It wasn't so much that I wasn't at peace with stuff but I had a lot of time on my hands so what I felt were reasonable demands for intention from someone else really weren't. I didn't really realize that til I got healthier and then tried to work, be in a relationship, and juggle other interests and had the rolls reversed.

Now that I'm healthier I am currently chosing not to date. I still have issues and working again, trying to maintain friendships, deal with some other interests is about all i can handle. It seems like I'm majorily sick (over a weeks time every few months) Someday it would be nice and when it happens it will happen!

For me the key is to be happy and that will attract others when it's time!

Originally Posted by Sachita

First of all- HUGS to you all. I am blessed with good health, strong as a bull and STILL have trouble finding the right partner. No to derail but I think when seeking a life partner you must have things in common. Big things like what you believe, feel and how you connect. Everyone has pet peeves, deal breakers and disabilities in some form or another. You don't ever give up. You keep putting yourself out there, network with friends (Love comes in all forms) and curb the loneliness as best you can. I see a few of you here with some of the same challenges. As friends why not become partners- roommates, helpmates, etc? It would be cheaper and you'd have more support.

I will just give my 2 cents from my experience.

I think this works great for some people. Honestly sometimes I would love to be in a realtionship purely to half the amount of stuff I have to do. Not the reason to be in one but it would be nice to share the cooking, the laundry, the cleaning, etc.

A lot of it depends on how the two people are wired. When I was home bound and rarely got out it was important that my roommate was gone some of the time. Since I couldn't get away especially if he ticked me off I needed time that he was away so I could let things pass. Unfortunately even though the agreement was my roomie would be gone so many hours a week he wasn't. He was on disability also and ended up being home All the time. He could physically get out if he wanted but chose not to. That didn't work for me. I know that no matter how abled I am I need a certain amount of me time and me space. I find personally I am more productive during time that I am home alone then when someone is around and I need to have some of that time. Other people may not be that way and it may work. They may also have larger surroundings. The space one is confined to makes a huge difference also. Again just how I am wired and my experience.

[Sachita]

I need space. lots of it. Any time you live with someone this could be an issue unless you set boundaries and have enough space. Even when I'm in a relationship I want my own bedroom. I've always preferred this.

[Rockinonahigh]

OK,I am trying again to get this thing to put out big letters,So hear we go again.

One of the biggest things being difrently abled is the folks who are normal"whatever normal is" think many of us get a free pass for being difrentlyabled.I dont think I ever got a break because of my ablities,I have to work harder or difrently to get it done and often with better results cause we often put more effort into what it is we are doing.I can ashure u I havent lived a charmed life cause I havent,the hardest part of being diffrentlyabled is so many people either want to candy coat the issue,wich makes it worse or the bullys torment others cause they can get away with it..then say we are to sensitive.I call it BS.Many of us have gotten to where we are because we networked with people and places to to get the help we needed along the way.My hats off to the people who have helped any of us to to reach a goal or make a dream come true in many ways.If u have receved a helping hand...pass it on,there are many ways to do so.

Note from June: I made the font bigger for ya!

[lipstixgal]

I also suffer from disabilities like Fibro and bipolar disorder which can get me down. I have been struggling since I had the Lyme's disease 10 years ago. I am a medical assistant and want to work and be part of a functioning society as well so I can understand what it is like to have pain every day and not be able to get going every day!! I wish the best of luck to everyone on this thread and hope they find a cure for what ales people!!

[wolfbittenpoet]

Completely understand the feeling of never finding someone who love me as I am. I have issues due to complications of strep throat and as a result I am on hemodialysis. Needless to say it limits my ability to do things. Some days I don't even want to crawl out of bed. But this site and online socialization keeps me relatively sane.

[Soft*Silver]

so..does anyone else have problems getting pain meds from their Dr? I swear my Dr is so paranoid! I ask for pain meds twice a year. I ask for maybe two weeks worth of meds at a time. Wow. Some addict I am. And I ask only for enough to help me sleep..not 24 hour coverage. YET...my Dr refuses to give them to me! I have to read her the riot act and go in, show her how damn crippled up I am, break down into tears, which makes me feel like I am at her mercy instead of a grown up to be trusted, before she takes me in earnest. After treating me for almost 3 years, why cant she just take my word for it?

THIS is why the little green plant has become my friend at rare times

[Daywalker]

For myself, I find that the consumption of the Groovy Green along
with absorbing high levels of pain at times...is preferable to being
Pharmacologically dependent on anything the Drug Manufacturing
Machine has to offer. I take Ultram 50mg and Flexeril for break
though pain. Ultram is a non-narcotic. Perhaps you can get your
Doc to look into the Ultram, and perhaps gradually get
you on the Ultram ER (extended release 200mg)

.

[DomnNC]

Originally Posted by Daywalker

I take Ultram 50mg and Flexeril for break
though pain. Ultram is a non-narcotic. Perhaps you can get your
Doc to look into the Ultram, and perhaps gradually get
you on the Ultram ER (extended release 200mg)

I hate to break it to you but Ultram is indeed a narcotic, it is a synthetic opiate and it can be addictive, tho they claim the incidence of addiction is far less than most opiates. There are lots of people who have gotten addicted to it and withdrawals from it are hell for some people. My Dr prescribed it to me at one point but it did nothing for my pain level.

"While Ultram is technically a narcotic or opioid pain medication, it is different from typical narcotics in that patients do not build up a tolerance with extended usage and there is a very low incidence of addiction. With other narcotics there is a general tendency to escalate the dosage of the medicine with time and a chance of addiction. The narcotic effect of Ultram is not as strong as the narcotic agents in other common pain medications, such as Vicodin (hydrocodone) and Oxycontin and Percocet (Oxycodone)."

Full text here: http://www.spine-health.com/treatmen...-pain-reliever

Check out these people's experiences with Ultram:

http://www.drugs.com/forum/featured-...l-22123-2.html

[always2late]

Originally Posted by softness

so..does anyone else have problems getting pain meds from their Dr? I swear my Dr is so paranoid! I ask for pain meds twice a year. I ask for maybe two weeks worth of meds at a time. Wow. Some addict I am. And I ask only for enough to help me sleep..not 24 hour coverage. YET...my Dr refuses to give them to me! I have to read her the riot act and go in, show her how damn crippled up I am, break down into tears, which makes me feel like I am at her mercy instead of a grown up to be trusted, before she takes me in earnest. After treating me for almost 3 years, why cant she just take my word for it?

THIS is why the little green plant has become my friend at rare times

This enrages me! I have two herniated discs...and I'm a nurse. I work 12 hour shifts where I am on my feet for most of those hours. Yet, when the pain gets bad enough that I can barely walk and I go to my Dr....he looks at me like I'm an addict! MORON!! Look at my medical history!! Do you SEE an abuse of medication?? Thanks for making me feel like my pain doesn't really matter when you see that I can barely walk or stand upright. I swear, compassion is sorely lacking in healthcare. Note: Like softness...I only ask for the pain meds when it gets really bad...MAYBE twice a year, and only enough to get me through a week or so until the pain subsides enough that I can function...yep, if I'm an addict I'm sure as hell doing it wrong!

[DomnNC]

I understand about the frustration of getting pain meds. I've had 2 cervical fusions and one lumbar fusion with all sorts of hardware. I have permanent nerve damage due to waiting too long to have anything done about these things.

The DEA is cracking down hard on Dr's who prescribe a lot of pain meds. My PCP sent me to a pain Dr to determine what the extent of damage I had. The pain Dr made a recommendation as to the type, amount and dosage of pain meds. He put this in writing to my PCP and said he would prefer that my PCP write the prescription each month or every 3 months so that one Dr was prescribing all my meds and would know everything I'm taking. I don't know if any of ya'll having issues with getting pain meds have been to a pain specialist or not. If not, go to one and have them make the recommendation back to your PCP and have it put in your file, that way the PCP's butt is covered in the event the DEA pays a visit to their office or makes an inquiry.

You can go to the American Pain Foundations website and go to the PainSafe tab, there is a section for Dr's on pain treatment with opiods, print out some of it and take it to your Dr and have an open honest discussion with them about it. Here's the link:

http://www.painfoundation.org/

[Sachita]

Originally Posted by softness

so..does anyone else have problems getting pain meds from their Dr? I swear my Dr is so paranoid! I ask for pain meds twice a year. I ask for maybe two weeks worth of meds at a time. Wow. Some addict I am. And I ask only for enough to help me sleep..not 24 hour coverage. YET...my Dr refuses to give them to me! I have to read her the riot act and go in, show her how damn crippled up I am, break down into tears, which makes me feel like I am at her mercy instead of a grown up to be trusted, before she takes me in earnest. After treating me for almost 3 years, why cant she just take my word for it?

THIS is why the little green plant has become my friend at rare times

change dr. this is bs

[scootebaby]

Incubus thanks for the reminder....it was late,waiting for pills to kick in,and wasnt thinking. Dom--thanks for your response...i am hoping that surgery is only an option not a have to case...when i first injured it affected my right side...i would come home in tears after working a 12 hr shift...in 2007 the disc bulged and just touched the nerve...i took PT and had 3 epidurals...lived on ibuprofen because they said nothing else could be done...so i let it go up till about 5 months ago when i couldnt stand it any longer..they put me on loracets and flexeril 10mg...fast forward to almost 3 weeks ago....the disc went,but this time it affected my left side initially...dilaudid was prescribed..the last few days from my hips down both legs tingle,gets feeling of numbness,and aches so bad i cant sit still....it really sucks not being able to move around...watch my g/f work herself silly everyday with her work,the home,and me...then there is the fact my store is hanging by a thread bc my people cant seem to get their egos thru the door!