[Thinker]

I'm going to steal a page out of June's play book and go through these posts with you; some are problematic and some are not.

Originally Posted by Andrew, Jr.

The jurors distrust of George Anthony really surprised me. I think most of those women jurors were single mothers who just disliked men in my opinion.

Andrew, while it is true that is your opinion, that type of statement is *not* helpful and, as others pointed out, only lends itself to further perpetuate sexist notions. It's really not any different from the age old "lesbians are men haters" thing, and we all know what kind of bullshit that is.

It really was a gross statement to make.

Originally Posted by scootebaby

Andrew,i mean no disrespect,but ur statement of "single women who dislike men" is way off base and out of line. Altho it was a 7/5 split(if i recall correctly) i know of at least 2 female jurors were married. As for George....he made himself look untrusting..the way he went around answering instead of directly,or getting into a pissing match with Baez

Thank you for this. It's really a perfect response to a statement that "throws you for a loop".

Originally Posted by sassy_girl

Huh? ...........

A reply like this isn't helpful. It doesn't do anything to further the conversation in a constructive manner, and it can be read as insulting too.

Originally Posted by tantalizingfemme

Can you explain how single mothers = women who dislike men? I find this really offensive as a single mother.

Again, this is a great way to respond to what was written. Ask for clarification. We can say things are offensive without tearing down the person who posted the statement.

Originally Posted by Andrew, Jr.

Everyone has the right to their own opinion. That is why Baskin Robbins has 31 flavors.

This isn't helpful either.

Originally Posted by sassy_girl

Yes we all have a right to our opinions but no right to be offensive.

Yes.

Originally Posted by scootebaby

Andrew

I have ALWAYS tried to understand your reasonings and posts when a lot of people jump to the wrong conclusion,or flat out attack you,but your last post was totally a "fuck you" in my eyes to all of "US" single moms...and to me personally because i am the SINGLE mother of a MALE child.


You are right everyone is entitled to their own opinion...i guess kinda like everyone has the right to be an asshole!

scoote, I was just loving this response......until that last little bit. While one can argue you didn't flat out call Andrew an asshole, one can also argue that it sure seems that way.

I understand the feelings involved here, but I believe we can always do better (and you initially did) than resorting to name-calling. Once we go down that road, the person whom we most want to hear us is no longer listening.

Originally Posted by Andrew, Jr.

Ladies and Gentlemen,

I was only stating my own personal opinion. I apologize if I offended anyone with my opinion. This evening my neighbors and I were chatting about this case over dinner, and everyone agreed with my opinion. I am really surprised that folks here were offended because when chatting about this, some of the neighbors were single mothers.

I am now leaving this thread.

Andrew

Andrew, I think it's wonderful that you returned to apologize and to also explain why you felt safe in sharing your opinion (since it had been reinforced by your friends at home). Thank you for that.

Try to avoid the leaving announcement though. I don't believe anyone here wanted you to leave because you said that. I think they wanted you to understand why it was so offensive to them.

Originally Posted by JustJo

Excuse me?

I know I'm not the first one verbalizing this, but this statement is offensive.

There are an awful lot of us who are single mothers....and I would venture to guess it has no impact on our opinions about men.

As a matter of fact, both my partner and I are the single mothers of boys. Are you trying to tell us we dislike men? And, if so, when are we supposed to suddenly start disliking our sons?

You're calling this an "opinion" - which it is....but it's the same kind of opinion that leads to racism, sexism, sizism, ageism and all of the crap we're all supposedly working hard to rid ourselves of.

It's good to share personal stories as to why that statement was hurtful/offensive to you.......gives the poster another way of looking at things.

As I was working on this post I kept thinking to myself, "I hope no one sees this as condescending." I give you my word there is nothing uppity or all-knowing about sharing out this way.

It really is our hope that members here will be able to have hard discussions with one another without always resorting to the "report" button. If we are able to do that then that means we have said difficult things to one another and we have LISTENED to things that might be hurtful without resorting to name-calling, without feeling stepped to, without feeling personally attacked, etc...

A lot of this shit isn't easy, and it's rarely easy to put personal feelings aside when interacting with another member........and it seems damn near impossible to just ignore the posts of people we don't care for! But that *is* what we're working toward.

We've come a long friggin' way, and the mod/admin team has seen a drop in reports because so many of you are really thinking about what you've written down before you hit the SUBMIT REPLY button. Thank you for that, by the way.

So let's get back on track here.

If you have any questions about this moderation, please contact one of us via PM so as not to further derail this very important discussion.

Thinker (moderator)