Quote:
Originally Posted by Strappie
My ex had two children. We got a long for the most part. The one thing we (my ex and I) talked about before we decided to live together was that I was not going to be involved with discipline. I needed to establish that I was not their parent that I was there to help guide them if they came to me. Which the youngest she always came to me. I think she just needed someone to listen to. Her mom wasn't good at listening to her (it was a shame) because her daughter was exactly like her and my ex was exactly like her mother.
However the problem that my ex and I had was that my ex would not come out to the kids. However we slept in the same bed, yet we were unable to be affectionate outside the bedroom. After a year of living together I became some what of the disciplinary person because she would get so mad at me if I didn't handle things. It eventually made me resent her for it. We eventually broke up, it that was one reason we didn't make it.
As I look back... I'd do it all over again. However, the woman I end up with will be out to her kids and I will not be the disciplinary person. I think that is very important not to waltz right in and think you can be a parent. Depending on the age of the kid/s it's all a matter of how well they adapt to the two of you together. A young child is in my opinion different but a pre-teen or teenagers are off limits to discipline in a new relationship.
I would totally date a Mother, I find Mom's super sexy!
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Dating with children is very difficult.There is a fine line to walk.I always wanted my kids to respect my partner and listen to both of us but I found my kids began to get resentful when my partner would step in and try to discipline them.Then we tried to have only myself deal with behavior issues and that was not easy either but it seemed to work out much better.When one of the kids would act up my partner would tell me about whatever the situation was and then I would speak to the boys and determine the punishment.
I also agree that the age the children are depends on how easily the adjustment is.My kids were ten and four when my partner and I got together.My ten year old blamed my partner for the breakup of my marriage(this wasn't true but he believed it)so he already held a grudge so he was very sensative.My younger son was only four so he was much more open to my partner and listend a whole lot better.