I would happily and readily petition for divorce on grounds of unreasonable behaviour in any of the following scenarios:
- She comes out of the closet as a Boston Red Sox fan.
- She doesn't tolerate my polyamorous (but non-sexual) affection for Kermit & Miss Piggy.
- She watches any form of "reality TV" (with possible exception of Rock of Love which is so pathetically bad that it's almost watchable).
- She's interested in word puzzles of any sort.
- She wants to drink "green beer" or wear green sparkly clothing on St Patrick's Day.
- She cannot cook lasagne or macaroni cheese.
- She continues playing with her cellphone while she is talking to me.
- She plays any form of heavy metal music.