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Old 04-08-2012, 02:46 PM   #9
Ciaran
Member

How Do You Identify?:
Altocalciphilic
Preferred Pronoun?:
Papa Smurf
Relationship Status:
Curmudgeonous spinster
 

Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: London (but from Belfast)
Posts: 678
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I would happily and readily petition for divorce on grounds of unreasonable behaviour in any of the following scenarios:
  • She comes out of the closet as a Boston Red Sox fan.
  • She doesn't tolerate my polyamorous (but non-sexual) affection for Kermit & Miss Piggy.
  • She watches any form of "reality TV" (with possible exception of Rock of Love which is so pathetically bad that it's almost watchable).
  • She's interested in word puzzles of any sort.
  • She wants to drink "green beer" or wear green sparkly clothing on St Patrick's Day.
  • She cannot cook lasagne or macaroni cheese.
  • She continues playing with her cellphone while she is talking to me.
  • She plays any form of heavy metal music.
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