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Old 05-06-2012, 05:59 AM   #74
Venus007
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Dreamily contemplating some outrage against conventional morality
 
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For me the hardest part about forgiveness is forgiving myself.
I should have seen...
I should have known...
I should have done X differently...
How could I have X, am I completely blind? ....

The reality is that I didn't see, I didn't know and I did the best I could with the information and situation I had before me.

To continually berate myself or feel that sick gut drop when I think about my actions actually is counter productive. By obsessing on what I did wrong and what is wrong with me instead of focusing on moving forward and how I can do the right thing, well, this only reinforces the unfortunate behavior and creates a stronger neural path to the error of my ways.

This is the hard part, to let go and practice acceptance, to just be and breathe with it, to sit with it and say that even though I make mistakes, it doesn't mean I have to make them in the future, and it certainly doesn't mean that I deserve to carry that hateful burden longer than is necessary for me to learn.

I have to practice acceptance for myself, to forgive myself, and to let go and move on. Whether I like it or not sometimes.
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"I need no warrant for being, and no word of sanction upon my being. I am the warrant and the sanction. "
Ayn Rand, Anthem



"So you'll die happily for your sins. You'd rather die in guilt then live in love?" Timothy Leary
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