[Canela]

Originally Posted by apocalipstic

I appreciate your answer!

When you look at chat, you can see who is in a group....then if you try to log on the the PTSD group it asks for a password. That is not safe to me. Safe is no one know I am even there. NO one seeing my name at ALL.

I do not want anyone ever to feel left out because they can't log in. They would be able to see us there, but not join in. I hate that idea.

Secrets and exclusion are triggering for many people.

Also, I do not feel like I am qualified to be a facilitator, nor have I seen anyone post who is. If there is a therapy group, then we need a therapist. I did not set this up as a therapy group.

Do whatever you want, start whatever you want, but I would like to keep posting in my own thread about things I find important and helpful. If a moderator tells me to stop then I will...but thats pretty much it at this point.

That someone else who wants to take things in a different direction towards secrecy is more than welcome to start their own thread and go from there.

I picked this website for a reason, to be open and honest. That is what I am looking for in life.

If I have to sneak around about bad things that have happened to me and be encouraged to feel shame about them and hide them for other member's safety then have not my abusers won?

I wonder if secrecy and confidentiality are the same thing for you. It's really not the same thing but I can see where you see it that way.

The chat room (in theory as it still is) I understood was open to anyone who wanted to participate, and that is what I still understand. I don't know anything else, really...and being able to see who is in the room is one thing, hearing or reading what is being said is quite another.

Your thread is great, I have posted in it and I am glad it's available to all, but do you see where some posters aren't comfortable with posting any details? That's okay right, but they still post to let us know they are there. That's a start. Posting in black and white is permanent. Like maybe it locks in your words and then it can't change...but that's not true, we know it can all change...good or bad (read trigger or healing) sometimes with just a well placed word, phrase or explanation...

I don't think anyone's abusers win when we the victims seek and find help. The abusers thought we could not do anything without them and we have, even starting this thread is a giant step in that direction. What I see about abusers in my mind and heart is that they are the ones who are royally messed up and in order to deal, they hurt others/us/everyone. (Hurt people hurt people) It's horrible to feel anything but anger towards them, but I do feel pity, and it's such a shame that they didn't have what we do...therapy, healing, hope...so now THEY are the sad little things in our memories and somewhere in our lives that don't have any more power over us...NO MORE!

I wish you all the best always...