PTSD and Trauma recovery

[Apocalipstic]

I appreciate your answer!

When you look at chat, you can see who is in a group....then if you try to log on the the PTSD group it asks for a password. That is not safe to me. Safe is no one know I am even there. NO one seeing my name at ALL.

I do not want anyone ever to feel left out because they can't log in. They would be able to see us there, but not join in. I hate that idea.

Secrets and exclusion are triggering for many people.

Also, I do not feel like I am qualified to be a facilitator, nor have I seen anyone post who is. If there is a therapy group, then we need a therapist. I did not set this up as a therapy group.

Do whatever you want, start whatever you want, but I would like to keep posting in my own thread about things I find important and helpful. If a moderator tells me to stop then I will...but thats pretty much it at this point.

That someone else who wants to take things in a different direction towards secrecy is more than welcome to start their own thread and go from there.

I picked this website for a reason, to be open and honest. That is what I am looking for in life.

If I have to sneak around about bad things that have happened to me and be encouraged to feel shame about them and hide them for other member's safety then have not my abusers won?

Originally Posted by LittleShug

Okay, I think we are aaaalllll way off subject here...I was sooooo excited to hear of the PTSD chat room. I thought and still think, it is a good idea...however, I hope you will receive this with the respect and love it is written from.

I think--before I say this know that this is only my opinion--The chat room was a branch off this thread, another type of sharing if you will, about the things that we suffer PTSD from. Yes, there does need to be a password, because people who lurk here well, that's okay, but as we have seen, we have NO WAY of knowing what will be discussed or "touched on" and well, those aren't for just any lurker. There needs to be a "safe place" away from prying eyes and curious souls, for participant's protection.

I think the purpose you created this thread for, Apocalipstic is very appropriate for as you put it, "posting and sharing day to day things" as they happen. I know that to some, "triggers" may occur even upon reading what someone writes in this thread but how can I/you/anyone be responsible for something we share about ourselves and our experiences that hurts someone else? I don't mean I don't care, please everyone I don't mean that, what I do mean is that when this thread was created, I don't think it was ever with any intention of "triggering" anyone, but of sharing what A was feeling and going thru and then opened it up to the rest of us who wanted to participate and share, too...Correct me if I'm wrong, A, but that's how I understood some of your previous posts...(sorry if I got it wrong).

And I realize some group therapy does not speak in specifics and does or does not do certain things--but this is new to all of us. Perhaps we should not speak in specifics to avoid triggers and such...perhaps. But if we can't be honest here, in a thread or a chat where we all share commonalities regarding PTSD and its residual effects, where can we be? We just have to figure out the best course of action for those who truly are interested in participating, sharing, and shaping this new branch of support...

Again--my opinion--but in my opinion, what you have started here in this thread for yourself (Apocalipstic) and others has grown in different directions. We know as adult learners some of us learn from different sources, different methods. And I feel like that's what's happening to us now--where we are growing in our needs to discuss and share and deal.

I love everyone who has poured out their hearts and fears and love and support here, and I want you all to know that each of your input is valid and valuable, but as the outpouring of support for this chatroom says it should be a go, we should give it a go. I hope that you will all find it in your hearts to try it, like we have everything else...

I am sorry if I derailed your thread even further. I just wanted you to know (Apocalipstic) that the way I saw things was that you did an awesome thing stepping out like you did and starting this thread. Now someone else wants to take it one step further, and I like that growth too. And yes, privacy is needed in a real time chat conference or group, because there is no telling what will come up.


One last thing. This site, this thread, this chat room and all the friendships forged here are not NOT by any means meant to take the place of any therapy or healing practices anyone is involved in.

I am not a professional, unless being friends and being there for others is a profession.

Just my humble opinion...

[Canela]

Originally Posted by apocalipstic

I appreciate your answer!

When you look at chat, you can see who is in a group....then if you try to log on the the PTSD group it asks for a password. That is not safe to me. Safe is no one know I am even there. NO one seeing my name at ALL.

I do not want anyone ever to feel left out because they can't log in. They would be able to see us there, but not join in. I hate that idea.

Secrets and exclusion are triggering for many people.

Also, I do not feel like I am qualified to be a facilitator, nor have I seen anyone post who is. If there is a therapy group, then we need a therapist. I did not set this up as a therapy group.

Do whatever you want, start whatever you want, but I would like to keep posting in my own thread about things I find important and helpful. If a moderator tells me to stop then I will...but thats pretty much it at this point.

That someone else who wants to take things in a different direction towards secrecy is more than welcome to start their own thread and go from there.

I picked this website for a reason, to be open and honest. That is what I am looking for in life.

If I have to sneak around about bad things that have happened to me and be encouraged to feel shame about them and hide them for other member's safety then have not my abusers won?

I wonder if secrecy and confidentiality are the same thing for you. It's really not the same thing but I can see where you see it that way.

The chat room (in theory as it still is) I understood was open to anyone who wanted to participate, and that is what I still understand. I don't know anything else, really...and being able to see who is in the room is one thing, hearing or reading what is being said is quite another.

Your thread is great, I have posted in it and I am glad it's available to all, but do you see where some posters aren't comfortable with posting any details? That's okay right, but they still post to let us know they are there. That's a start. Posting in black and white is permanent. Like maybe it locks in your words and then it can't change...but that's not true, we know it can all change...good or bad (read trigger or healing) sometimes with just a well placed word, phrase or explanation...

I don't think anyone's abusers win when we the victims seek and find help. The abusers thought we could not do anything without them and we have, even starting this thread is a giant step in that direction. What I see about abusers in my mind and heart is that they are the ones who are royally messed up and in order to deal, they hurt others/us/everyone. (Hurt people hurt people) It's horrible to feel anything but anger towards them, but I do feel pity, and it's such a shame that they didn't have what we do...therapy, healing, hope...so now THEY are the sad little things in our memories and somewhere in our lives that don't have any more power over us...NO MORE!

I wish you all the best always...

[Apocalipstic]

Originally Posted by LittleShug

I wonder if secrecy and confidentiality are the same thing for you. It's really not the same thing but I can see where you see it that way.

The chat room (in theory as it still is) I understood was open to anyone who wanted to participate, and that is what I still understand. I don't know anything else, really...and being able to see who is in the room is one thing, hearing or reading what is being said is quite another.

Your thread is great, I have posted in it and I am glad it's available to all, but do you see where some posters aren't comfortable with posting any details? That's okay right, but they still post to let us know they are there. That's a start. Posting in black and white is permanent. Like maybe it locks in your words and then it can't change...but that's not true, we know it can all change...good or bad (read trigger or healing) sometimes with just a well placed word, phrase or explanation...

I don't think anyone's abusers win when we the victims seek and find help. The abusers thought we could not do anything without them and we have, even starting this thread is a giant step in that direction. What I see about abusers in my mind and heart is that they are the ones who are royally messed up and in order to deal, they hurt others/us/everyone. (Hurt people hurt people) It's horrible to feel anything but anger towards them, but I do feel pity, and it's such a shame that they didn't have what we do...therapy, healing, hope...so now THEY are the sad little things in our memories and somewhere in our lives that don't have any more power over us...NO MORE!

I wish you all the best always...

Thank you so much!

But what if someone sees we are in that chat room and wants to be a part, but is not invited? It hurts my heart to think about it.

Does that make sense?

[Andrew, Jr.]

However, you have to remember that some folks have different motives than we do. We are survivors. We are recovering each day. Thank God above!

Some folks want to take our struggles and limitations to a different level and try to silence us so they have some attention that they are lacking in life. That is how I feel.

[Apocalipstic]

Originally Posted by Andrew, Jr.

However, you have to remember that some folks have different motives than we do. We are survivors. We are recovering each day. Thank God above!

Some folks want to take our struggles and limitations to a different level and try to silence us so they have some attention that they are lacking in life. That is how I feel.

I don't know really, but I just don't feel much like being silenced

[Canela]

Originally Posted by apocalipstic

Thank you so much!

But what if someone sees we are in that chat room and wants to be a part, but is not invited? It hurts my heart to think about it.

Does that make sense?

Yes, that makes alot of sense. I don't know about being invited or wanting to join. The way I see it I think all who want to should be able to do so...as long as it is being used to help themselves. If someone should breach the confidentiality and trust well, that's not something we should allow and I think something we should figure out how to deal with. Also, there should be a designated time so that those who want to be in that room need to be in there when it starts and unless they registered (and received their password)aforehand, late ones should wait for the next session so they can participate. How 'bout that?

(I gotta stop brainstorming, my head is starting to hurt now and my sore throat and cough is rearing its ugly head, lol...gotta go)

[Apocalipstic]

Originally Posted by LittleShug

Yes, that makes alot of sense. I don't know about being invited or wanting to join. The way I see it I think all who want to should be able to do so...as long as it is being used to help themselves. If someone should breach the confidentiality and trust well, that's not something we should allow and I think something we should figure out how to deal with. Also, there should be a designated time so that those who want to be in that room need to be in there when it starts and unless they registered (and received their password)aforehand, late ones should wait for the next session so they can participate. How 'bout that?

(I gotta stop brainstorming, my head is starting to hurt now and my sore throat and cough is rearing its ugly head, lol...gotta go)

Maybe the group can be worked out so no one feels bad. I hope so.

For me it is important to speak my truth when I need to and I hope that by not being ashamed of things that have happened in my life others will not feel so alone.

I hope you feel better! I've had the cough and headache for 3 weeks now. UGH.

[Apocalipstic]

So back to my triggers, laugh.

After pondering how to deal with Rocky the Cemetary Dude, I decided to get my sister to handle it. She quite likes telling people off in a nice way.

We can't just be rude because our whole family is buried there, and we will end up seeing Rocky the Cemetary Dude again soon...but not for my funeral.

[Goofy]

Apocalipstic, I want to apologize if my posts hurt or offended you (or anyone else) in any way. Truly that was not my intention.

I've never posted in this thread until last night, but I read it often. I was reading last night when I saw a poster say that they were not comfortable sharing their stuff and it made me think of the group I participate in. I thought it might be a good idea to share some of that experience, since it has been such a good experience for me.

I think this is a great thread, and the support that if offers is incredible, whether someone is a sharer, or not.

[Dragonfly]

Originally Posted by apocalipstic

So back to my triggers, laugh.

After pondering how to deal with Rocky the Cemetary Dude, I decided to get my sister to handle it. She quite likes telling people off in a nice way.

We can't just be rude because our whole family is buried there, and we will end up seeing Rocky the Cemetary Dude again soon...but not for my funeral.

Times are probably hard for everyone, but really do you need to have a cemetary telemarket you?!? This seems really rude on so many levels.

I am really glad to hear your sister is handling it for you. I too find it hard to deal with people politely in social situations when it is DIRECTLY related to my abusers and triggers. Sometimes I end up feeling badly for reacting from that panic or rage state of mind.