[Gráinne]

Originally Posted by Sparkle

Yes, some couples do. I would say that typically they are young 20/30-something heterosexual couples from upper middle class families who have a very traditional wedding where the Bride's family foots the bill and the couple registers at some big department store or a multitude of stores.

Some gay couples also opt for a very traditional wedding and have registries and bridal showers and ginormous wedding parties and the whole nine yards.

But I've been to an extraordinary number of gay and straight weddings in the past 3-4 years, and while they've incorporated many traditional aspects they have also tended to dial back on spending and also on their expectations of family and friends. Many couples I know have had very small weddings and then thrown a big party afterward, or have set up "honeymoon" fund registry asking guests to contribute toward the cost of their post-wedding vacation or have set up a philanthropic website asking guests to give to one of 3 or 4 charitable organizations they select.

/event planner & bridesmaid too many times over.

The first-a small wedding and a big party-is correct, but OP, please don't do either of the other two things. It's not really good etiquette to tell your guests what to buy you (i.e. a honeymoon), or to say anything like "in lieu of gifts, donate to this charity". That's supposed to be the couple's business, and a wedding is not a fundraiser.