[ruthie14]

Originally Posted by LadyRieinAL

The other night, a younger friend of mine, a butch, who knows I've been single for almost two years, asked me if I had ever considered friends with benefits - my response was no, (wanted to sing - baby I was born this way) - and at the same time, I couldn't help but wonder, why I can't just let go, enjoy making love for the excitement of it all - why can't I be polymorphous and know it is ok to be in a polyamorous relationship.
The people I'm most attracted to, those who I have come in contact with over the last few months, live hundreds of miles from Alabama - long distant committed relationships seeing someone once a year doesn't work for me - If I'm committed to someone I want to see them at least once a month, and I would prefer they live the same town. But if I were poly, I would have choices, variety, and maybe I wouldn't dwell on the "age" factor - someone being too young for me, and I wouldn't have to worry that I'm took kink or not kink enough.
I don't know - I thought I did - but being without a partner has caused me to rethink my belief that being in a manogamous relationship maybe helps someone to grow and it isn't as off track for me as it seems - and what I know about me, I'm so frigging partner oriented, I want to be in love with one person, I want to share intimate moments with one person, I want to give one special person my attention, my devotion, and my love - and I don't like sharing.
So, can you teach an old dog new tricks of the heart?

I have had the same thoughts recently in regards to this butch I've been dating (see recent posts). She wants to have sex while dating various people... I wish I could. I think she is hot, she is smart, caring, affectionate. I just can't wrap my head around it and i know from past experience...once we cross that bridge, not matter how hard I try, i will expect more. It will ruin what we do have. Ohhhh but I do wish I could... just enjoy myself. I have the same problem the the ldr too. I won't do that anymore, but that is who I seem to connect with. I live in Jersey and currently am quite attracted to a woman in Cali... sigh. I won't have a ldr with her.. won't move.. sooooooooo it's flirty texts and leaving it at that. .. I feel ya!!