[OS Butch]

Originally Posted by LadyRieinAL

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What does "just dating" looks like - I'd really like to know - at what point does it go from just hanging out to dating? And can you date more than one person at a time - and do butches or femmes have a harder time with this concept? or does it just depend on the person -

This is a tough one. For me, I like going out, hang out with different folks.

I have found myself going for coffee and just socializing, only to discover that it was perceived as a date. Hence, I think there was a book written or maybe I read it some where that was something like " Is just coffee or is it a date?"

Over the years I have learned how I handle these situations. I will state just for coffee or dinner. I will do this kind of hanging out not exclusively with one Femme. It is a toss up as to whether or not it I go dutch on the bill. It is definitely not a date if we go dutch, in my book.

When it comes to dating....and it has been awhile since I have dated, I date monogamously. I will ask about dating exclusively because for me, it is I have found something in that Femme that is attractive to me and I want to tempt the fates as to whether or not this would be the beginning of a romantic match... at which point it would turn into courting.

To me, hanging out is just that, socializing one on one. Dating, to me, is the prelude to finding the happily ever after, the white picket fence, and I can only do that monogamously.

There are those that can date multiple people.... I am one that cannot. You have to decide which fits you best and be open in your communication as to what you want and what is acceptable for you.

As I have gotten older, my needs have changed. At one time I was very open to long distance relationships. That option is no longer one that I can do. So, no matter whom I may be crushing on, unless they are willing to move here, I will not entertain the possibilities of dating. I have circumstances in my life that I cannot move. So, once I do decide to enter in the dating scene, it will be local....which there seems to be very few Femmes in this large metro area!