Butch Femme Planet - View Single Post - Do you *want* people to assume you're a man?

Kelt · 08-30-2012, 03:00 PM

Interesting thread

I am seeing two types of answers
a) what do we want
b) what do we get

Ok, a third
c) how do we feel about the match/mismatch between the two

I'm enjoying seeing the variety in the answers so far. I'll toss in my two cents with the up front codicil that I am only relating my opinion and fully respect the opinions of others that differ from mine.

What I want for myself is to just be a person. No gender label need be applied, no preferred pronouns. Just a person/human/being. A while back someone else coined the term gender-free and I like it. I happily answer to things like my name, or even "Hey you!"

Yeah well, we don't live in that world. What I get labeled by others seems to be as dependent on location as much as anything else. I noticed this especially on a road trip I took by myself last summer. Where I live now has a high percentage of gay population, very liberal politics, and folks are used to looking before speaking. I am usually addressed as female. When I was out driving through a variety different towns of varying sizes and political climates, mileage varied. I chose a route of "blue roads", two lane highways with some mid-sized and many small to tiny towns along the way. My experience was that the mid sized towns yielded the most blunder type incidences of being called Sir and if noticed we would just have a bit of a laugh. (I try to put people at easy and really don't care anyway). The small towns, pop. over say 1000, were where I encountered the most real confusion and the folks seemed defensive, even if I said nothing, and a couple of times I encountered open hostility. I found it interesting in light of that, the tiny towns pop. less than 500 down to 39, seemed to find my appearance totally normal. I think maybe because these were ranch and farm towns where everyone was in "work" (male) clothes and no one thought twice about it. Even my crew cut didn't phase anyone and I was referred to as female. Of course this only applied to this one person on a trip that only covered three states and one province.

So, for me it varies. As far as match/mismatch goes, they both kind of bother me because I don't see a need for assigning gender in general public settings. Is "Good morning miss, ma'am, sir, fella" somehow better or more appropriate than just "Good morning"?

Recognizing I am probably in the minority on this, just wanted to toss my hat in the ring.

08-30-2012, 03:00 PM	#38
Kelt Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Beach Butch Join Date: Oct 2010 Location: SoCal Posts: 2,751 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 19,765 Thanked 15,303 Times in 2,539 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	Interesting thread I am seeing two types of answers a) what do we want b) what do we get Ok, a third c) how do we feel about the match/mismatch between the two I'm enjoying seeing the variety in the answers so far. I'll toss in my two cents with the up front codicil that I am only relating my opinion and fully respect the opinions of others that differ from mine. What I want for myself is to just be a person. No gender label need be applied, no preferred pronouns. Just a person/human/being. A while back someone else coined the term gender-free and I like it. I happily answer to things like my name, or even "Hey you!" Yeah well, we don't live in that world. What I get labeled by others seems to be as dependent on location as much as anything else. I noticed this especially on a road trip I took by myself last summer. Where I live now has a high percentage of gay population, very liberal politics, and folks are used to looking before speaking. I am usually addressed as female. When I was out driving through a variety different towns of varying sizes and political climates, mileage varied. I chose a route of "blue roads", two lane highways with some mid-sized and many small to tiny towns along the way. My experience was that the mid sized towns yielded the most blunder type incidences of being called Sir and if noticed we would just have a bit of a laugh. (I try to put people at easy and really don't care anyway). The small towns, pop. over say 1000, were where I encountered the most real confusion and the folks seemed defensive, even if I said nothing, and a couple of times I encountered open hostility. I found it interesting in light of that, the tiny towns pop. less than 500 down to 39, seemed to find my appearance totally normal. I think maybe because these were ranch and farm towns where everyone was in "work" (male) clothes and no one thought twice about it. Even my crew cut didn't phase anyone and I was referred to as female. Of course this only applied to this one person on a trip that only covered three states and one province. So, for me it varies. As far as match/mismatch goes, they both kind of bother me because I don't see a need for assigning gender in general public settings. Is "Good morning miss, ma'am, sir, fella" somehow better or more appropriate than just "Good morning"? Recognizing I am probably in the minority on this, just wanted to toss my hat in the ring.