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Old 09-03-2012, 12:06 AM   #114
Ciaran
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Originally Posted by Bard View Post
I did ask Goose who was 7 she was all for it as she loves Desd so much and She loves her NEW Grandparents
I mis-read this at first (early morning here) and thought you'd asked for a girl's hand in marriage when you were aged 7. Reminded me of the first time I asked a girl to marry me - I was either 4 or 5. She said yes, but that we should wait until we were grown up. She then gave me a peck on the cheek and we went back to making daisy chains.


On the underlying issue of permission to marry. I strongly embrace family / extended family. The various twists and turns my life has taken in recent years have strengthened this feeling.

However, I wouldn't ask permission from the parents of my partner as I would view it as nothing more than ceremony or pretence as, if for whatever reason they refused "permission", I'd proceed with the marriage anyway if both my partner & I wanted that.

That said, given my sense of family, I'd very much want my partner's parents to be happy wig their daughter's choice of partner and to believe that I would do right by her, loving her with my heart and soul.

Children, if under the age of 18, are an extremely important part of the equation. Again, I wouldn't ask their permission but, assuming that they were living with my partner, their happiness and support of the marriage would be something approaching a pre-requisite for me. They wouldn't have a veto, per se, but I couldn't discount their feelings in a way that I could of unsupportive prospective in-laws.

Generally, I view the whole "permission to marry" concept as outdated and, similarly to most marriage rituals, it doesn't sit easy with me. I'm conservative and a traditionalist and I embrace many rituals and practices that would be viewed by moat in today's world as relics of the past. However, the marriage ones are just a complete turn off for me ..... Not certain why this is but I'be seen too many friends get married for the wedding, the big day and he excitement + expectation, often overlooking what the marriage is actually about which, in my view, is the expression of a life-long commitment to a partner, for better or worse.
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