I so like the idea of this thread. Just the other night I had a great, hour long conversation with an ex with whom I'd gone through a brutal break up. Grotesque, really, is the word that comes to mind when I think about how things went down. Her behavior was deplorable and mind certainly wasn't above reproach either. Far from it. I apparently elected to say to hell with dignity and acted the ass. Now, now I can laugh about it. 5 years ago, I would have never imagined speaking with her again, or that even thinking about that time in my life would feel any better than a bad toothache.
Not so long ago I had an epiphany about forgiveness. I had it in a moment when I was thinking about someone, "She doesn't deserve my forgiveness!". For some reason I had a flash of insight that while the she in question might not deserve it, I did. I do. I deserve to allow myself to let go. To breathe it out and just let it fucking go. It's not easy. It can be incredibly difficult, and I can be incredibly stubborn. I'm not really one to hold a grudge, but I will definitely mull things over for a long time.
I am now trying to embrace the lightness of spirit that comes with forgiveness. It feels good.
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