Quote:
Originally Posted by Semantics
I adopted my daughter (who is just about to turn 16). She came to live with me the first time when she was four.
She doesn't see her biological mother. It's an open adoption, but bio mom has chosen not to contact us for years.
Recently, my daughter's grandmother (who we hadn't heard from for 3 years) sent us pictures of a baby girl and told us that bio mom had another baby. The letter didn't include much information other than a complaint that the baby was half black and telling us that bio mom was doing ok and working at Wendy's.
Apoc, your post just really resonated because I know she has to be thinking that her mother gave her away and then had another daughter.
I ask her how she feels and she mostly expresses worry that her sister is being neglected and abused just as she was. The background of the pictures made it clear that the environment was filthy and my daughter picked up on that immediately.
I wish there were some way to assure her that it wasn't about her in a way that she would believe it, but I worry that, like you, in twenty years, she is still going to be asking herself why she wasn't good enough.
If you can post or pm me links to the books you mentioned I would appreciate it. I'd like to read them myself.
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Just that your daughter has a parent (You) who understands and wants to help will mean the world to her in 20 years.
Does she remember the adoption and what things were like before?
I will send you the links in a minute...have to find them on Amazon.
