[curlyredhead]

Originally Posted by MickMan

Hi everyone,

Been a while since I have been on and thought I would drop in to see how everyone is.

Life is good. Busy with school. This term marks the beginning of my dissertation and it is CRAZY!! But, exciting nonetheless.

Still single. Although, I have been talking with a woman here locally, however, nothing can come of it as she is unaware of my trans-status. She is from Thailand and absolutely wonderful. But, I am trying to find a way to explain to her I cannot get involved without outing myself and without ruining the friendship we have built. It all started out very innocent with me taking my mother to the restaurant that her brother owns. She was our waitress and she began talking with me and next thing you know, she is teaching me Thai and I am teaching her English. It finally occurred to me the other day when she introduced me to her brother, that she may have intentions beyond what I am able to take part in. She is wonderful, kind, caring and just so funny. And if she knew of my being trans, I would not be having this issue. I am not so sure I want to risk the friendship by outing myself. Not to mention my mother loves her and loves going to the restaurant. I need to either out myself and be prepared to never go there again or find a way to stop the progression before this woman becomes too attached. This really sucks!

Would love to hear from other as to solutions. This all happened so quickly that I did not have time to think about what was happening and perhaps I am guilty of flirting and leading her on a bit. I really try not to do that with those unaware. But, a good friend of mine told me that because of my good nature and kindness, I have a tendency to send out unintentional messages. Her words, not mine. Perhaps that is what has happened here.

Thought?

Mick this is complicated. I think you need to first figure out with what you are comfortable with before you make a decision to come out. I think the biggest question is are you interested in this lady? Because if you are then you aren't leading her on. Once you have determined what your thoughts are on that you need to find out if she has the same feelings towards you as well. If she has the same feelings about you and you do towards her, that's when you need to talk to her personally, and dude trust me if she really really likes you the trans part isn't going to matter one bit. I think that you need to educate her a little too when you do come out, because you do want to be able to eat at this restaurant again and not feel ostracized. Just my 2 cents.