[girl_dee]

Originally Posted by IslandScout

I guess I don't care if I'm invisible as a femme. I don't care what people I don't know, don't know about me.

And if people make assumptions about who I want to sleep with, I don't care about that, either. If they matter to me, I'll give them more information so they know me better. If they don't matter to me, I don't care if their assessment of me is inaccurate.

I can't relate to the pain of invisible femme-ness. And the way I feel about this, doesn't make me less of a femme, or a lesser femme. I'm just a femme who doesn't care if I'm the only one who knows it.

i read this and i hear you. A while back i would have agreed 100%.

i don't agree. i want to be visible but more as a whole. We are a huge part of the gay population and the gay rights movement, i don't see myself as much of an individual as i do as a community among sisters in a big gay world. Our presence shows people that gays aren't so bad and we live and breathe among the rest of the world. The shock effect, i love the shock effect.

i feel the more visible we are, the more knowledge we bring to people, like at my current job which i just spoke of. My job as a gay woman is not to convert people but i feel when we educate people about assumptions and hatred, and how we are not all deviants trying to convert their children, the easier it will become for those coming up behind us to live in this world. i know it's getting better but i am reminded daily that we have a long way to go.

i used to feel like *fuck em*.. it's not my job to educate the world. Now i feel like it is, i wish someone had gotten thru to my father, maybe my life would be a lot different. Being gay was not an option. i feel like if by using my invisibility helps change the mind of a couple people, like the ones i work with, maybe life will be better for their children.


i guarantee you if i had walked in for my interview being visible, i would not have gotten this job. Privilege at its finest. A month later and we have all had a great time and bonded a bit, being gay isn't such a big deal.