I'm not asking why people are an exception. I'm asking why it's rare for butches to take femmes last names. I'd kind of like to address that. Not why individual couples are an exception.
I saw ONE person admit "cause I like heterosexual traditional roles" and that they *like* heteronormativity. Ok, that's absolutely fine. as long as that's a cognisant choice.
So of the butches here ON THE BOARDS (not your one friend of many) would take a femme's last name if she didn't want to change hers? or would you just opt out of changing names all together if she didn't want to? I'm not going to attack you for opting out if she won't change hers, but you might wanna think about "why not change mine? sincerely, what is the issue I would have with that, even though I'd like our names to be the same."
(and thanks for answering bulldog)
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But it’s still a good idea to bring it out in the open and look at it. I doubt it’s going to make any difference to anyone in regards to whether they change their name in marriage or whether they take their femme’s name or give their name to their femme partner. Nor do I see it as a condemnation of anything at all. What I see it as is self examination. The checking and examining of motives and beliefs and seeing where they may or may not come from.
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thank you, Miss Tick.
and thanks for the encouragement to keep partaking. I've been having a very frustrating time with either articulating myself of having people refuse to aknowledge my points lately in life and feeling kinda like opening my mouth is pointless.