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imperfect_cupcake · 05-06-2014, 05:43 PM

No, I have no clue why that would hurt. My ex is an oncology nurse and personally loathes it when sick people ask her for help out of her work hours. Most of the nurses I know are probably the *least* sympathetic people I know when sick outside of work!! LOL! For good reason, right? I do massage therapy and people telling me their neck hurts as soon as I mention that makes me roll my eyes. So no, asserting that it might be a drag when people spill "deep emotional truths" out of work hours I did not mean even slightly as an insult. We all have limits and yours might be work and close family and friends.

See someone telling me that I wouldn't blink. I've had mates die from heroin over doses. Sucks, yeah. This is why I'm saying, depending on the person. Life is fucking hard. At least I've known it to be. Someone telling me that I highly doubt is looking for kisses and cuddles. At least I wouldn't see it that way and I don't react that way to things anyway. My emotional boundaries come from me. So I'm pretty comfy with "deep emotional truths" depending on the conversation the first time we are hanging out. My reaction would probably be "wow. Fuck. That's intense. How long were you together?"

But I totally get that for most people, that would not be a thing to say on a first date.

Like I said, I don't suit dating. This is probably why.

Edit to add: if the entire hang out consisted of this conversation, rather than a ten - 20 min chat in the four hours of hanging out, that's another issue. Also if they said it matter of factly that is different than weeping and grabbing my hand (*alarm bells*)
But that's the whole thing about hanging out with folk right? Personality matching. Hard thing. I am very open, in terms of who I am, what my history is, what I think (no, really?? Lol) and if I disagree. But emotionally I don't give out candy till way down the line.

I can see how some of things I consider "meh" might throw people. I know things others consider quite normal to be very distressing to me. So. Swings and round abouts, right?

05-06-2014, 05:43 PM	#14
imperfect_cupcake Senior Member How Do You Identify?: feminine dolly dyke Preferred Pronoun?: Your Grace Relationship Status: I put my own care first Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: In a gauze of mystery Posts: 1,776 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,426 Thanked 9,711 Times in 1,611 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	No, I have no clue why that would hurt. My ex is an oncology nurse and personally loathes it when sick people ask her for help out of her work hours. Most of the nurses I know are probably the least sympathetic people I know when sick outside of work!! LOL! For good reason, right? I do massage therapy and people telling me their neck hurts as soon as I mention that makes me roll my eyes. So no, asserting that it might be a drag when people spill "deep emotional truths" out of work hours I did not mean even slightly as an insult. We all have limits and yours might be work and close family and friends. See someone telling me that I wouldn't blink. I've had mates die from heroin over doses. Sucks, yeah. This is why I'm saying, depending on the person. Life is fucking hard. At least I've known it to be. Someone telling me that I highly doubt is looking for kisses and cuddles. At least I wouldn't see it that way and I don't react that way to things anyway. My emotional boundaries come from me. So I'm pretty comfy with "deep emotional truths" depending on the conversation the first time we are hanging out. My reaction would probably be "wow. Fuck. That's intense. How long were you together?" But I totally get that for most people, that would not be a thing to say on a first date. Like I said, I don't suit dating. This is probably why. Edit to add: if the entire hang out consisted of this conversation, rather than a ten - 20 min chat in the four hours of hanging out, that's another issue. Also if they said it matter of factly that is different than weeping and grabbing my hand (alarm bells) But that's the whole thing about hanging out with folk right? Personality matching. Hard thing. I am very open, in terms of who I am, what my history is, what I think (no, really?? Lol) and if I disagree. But emotionally I don't give out candy till way down the line. I can see how some of things I consider "meh" might throw people. I know things others consider quite normal to be very distressing to me. So. Swings and round abouts, right? Last edited by imperfect_cupcake; 05-06-2014 at 05:57 PM.