07-27-2014, 10:37 AM | #1 |
Timed Out - TOS Drama
How Do You Identify?:
... Preferred Pronoun?:
... Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: ...
Posts: 6,573
Thanks: 30,737
Thanked 22,953 Times in 5,021 Posts
Rep Power: 0 |
Opposites attract?
While reading the "living alone, does it make you weird" thread i got to thinking about my own relationship, and how we are polar opposites when it comes to some very basic things.
I am an introvert; enjoying time on my own, the thoughts in my head, and the friendship of a few carefully chosen people. A party is easier with someone to go with, and i never go a new place alone. My Kasey is an extrovert; she loves everyone she meets, wants to talk all the time, wants to go/do/see everything, and always wants to be with me. Yet...it works for us! She gets me out and doing things, i give her the family eating popcorn by the fire, and she helps me be more involved with the world. Because i am not working and she works from home there are few but precious alone times, but i make the most of them i can...reading, bird watching, napping etc... So tell me, are you opposites? How do YOU make it work? |
The Following 9 Users Say Thank You to MsTinkerbelly For This Useful Post: |
07-27-2014, 11:50 AM | #2 |
Pixie Stick
How Do You Identify?:
The arteest formerly known as musicfemme. Preferred Pronoun?:
She. Relationship Status:
Happily taken. Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Northampton, MA
Posts: 11,293
Thanks: 31,723
Thanked 32,038 Times in 6,118 Posts
Rep Power: 21474859 |
You are pretty much describing me and my partner when it comes to the introvert/extrovert thing. Mostly I think it works for us although I am still not sure he 100% gets what it means to be an introvert.
We don't live together, but I spend at least half my time at his house. He doesn't mind interacting with me ALL the time and sometimes I have to say to him that I really want to be alone, or have suggested he go talk to some other friends LOL. Luckily he doesn't take offense. He worries sometimes about leaving me alone if he wants to go out and I am usually like--no REALLY, please go out. I will be fine! (In my mind: I can't WAIT to be alone finally!) We find humor in it. My introversion helps ground him I think and his energy and extroversion does help me get outside of myself, and outside of the house so I am not a shut in. He is also a very thinking/logical person and I am much more feeling/intuitive person. This CAN create many problems in communication, but it can also be good because we are each good at different things and help each other out. We both do creative work (I'm an artist, he's a furniture conservator), but we do different kinds of work. He has to be very precise and also knows how to build things and I am really great at color and take a lot of risks. We have found that we both have assets the other doesn't have we have both helped each other out in projects. He's a meat eater, I'm a vegetarian. That we just have to accept about each other, though when he picks up pig heads from the local butcher it's rather disturbing to me. But he cooks a lot of vegetarian stuff for me, which is nice. What else? We are both fairly neat but not neat freaks so we don't have any Odd Couple issues there. He's 17 years older than me so there can be generational issues at times. With pop culture we are in two totally different places. Half the time he doesn't get my references and half the time I don't get his. He will ask me about a TV show for instance, that I have never even heard of. And I will ask when it was on. He will say "Oh in the early 70's." And I will have to say, my love I wasn't even born then LOL. He also LOVES telling stories. Over and over and over. I prefer to communicate concisely and when necessary. I have a rule now where he can tell me the same story three times and then I reserve the right not to listen. Sometimes I will sit there for a while before I can't hold in the snickering and he will say "Oh, have you heard this one before?" Oy vey. But on of the things I love most about him is that he lets me laugh at him. He's an optimist, I'm a realist. Really, our relationship is very complicated and the differences can be difficult. But I think on the whole we benefit from them when we remember to accept each other and also have a sense of humor! To me, it's beneficial to be able to draw on each other's strengths--we have gotten each other through difficult times that way and have also helped each professionally with interesting results. I doubt I would want to be with someone too much like me! We'd just exist in opposite ends of the house reading books and never speaking or going out LOL. Last edited by candy_coated_bitch; 07-27-2014 at 11:56 AM. |
The Following 10 Users Say Thank You to candy_coated_bitch For This Useful Post: |
07-27-2014, 12:20 PM | #3 |
Timed Out - TOS Drama
How Do You Identify?:
... Preferred Pronoun?:
... Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: ...
Posts: 6,573
Thanks: 30,737
Thanked 22,953 Times in 5,021 Posts
Rep Power: 0 |
Thanks ccb!
Since we live together full time i have to find other ways to get me time...one of the best is when my daughter is gone for the weekend and i can garage sale by myself. I have a small ebay business and i find some of the coolest things at garage/yard/tag/estate sales. Another way is walking the dog as it gives me time to think without a lot of distractions. Although, it's a bit hot now so we spend more time in the backyard. |
07-27-2014, 02:13 PM | #4 |
Senior Member
How Do You Identify?:
femme Preferred Pronoun?:
she Relationship Status:
must be love on the brain Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Texas
Posts: 1,582
Thanks: 969
Thanked 4,246 Times in 1,297 Posts
Rep Power: 21474849 |
i have always said.."its a cruel world...opposites attract"...because it is a blessing and a curse to be with your "opposite self"
because in many ways opposites compliment each other and help each other not only survive but bring out the best in each other but even when opposites are working together and creating amazing partnerships things can get very difficult.... being with an opposite can bring out the best and the worst in you...but you will never be bored! |
The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to cricket26 For This Useful Post: |
07-27-2014, 03:12 PM | #5 | |
Timed Out - TOS Drama
How Do You Identify?:
... Preferred Pronoun?:
... Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: ...
Posts: 6,573
Thanks: 30,737
Thanked 22,953 Times in 5,021 Posts
Rep Power: 0 |
Quote:
I have been with people much like myself, and often times felt bored out of my mind! There is somethng to be said for beng with someone who brngs out your other side and keeps you on your toes. Lol |
|
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to MsTinkerbelly For This Useful Post: |
08-25-2015, 10:08 PM | #6 |
Practically Lives Here
How Do You Identify?:
Transgender Preferred Pronoun?:
He/him/his Relationship Status:
Single Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Oklahoma
Posts: 17,752
Thanks: 31,018
Thanked 28,859 Times in 9,716 Posts
Rep Power: 21474864 |
I am a mix of introvert and extrovert, she is a major extrovert.
I listen to country music and she listens to rap. I dress my way and she dresses her way. There are a few more thing probably but I can't think of it right off the top of my head, I need to think a bit more. I think if you can make it work, being opposites, than more power to the couple. I however have to work extra hard on mine, she is a handful and a half.
__________________
Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow. The important thing is not to stop questioning. Albert Einstein |
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to JDeere For This Useful Post: |
08-26-2015, 07:46 PM | #7 |
Infamous Member
How Do You Identify?:
TG Preferred Pronoun?:
He Relationship Status:
once in a while someone amazing comes along...and here I am! Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Down on the farm
Posts: 5,496
Thanks: 9,853
Thanked 14,410 Times in 4,054 Posts
Rep Power: 21474856 |
I am not partnered at this time, however opposites doesn't work for me. I need to have some activities in common and also not have to listen to a bunch of fussing and sarcastic comments and commentary when I want to do something I enjoy. I've already rode that ride for many years in the past.
I am a social butterfly and rarely meet a stranger. I probably wouldn't do well with a partner who wasn't social.
__________________
Yeah so what if I'm triple dipped in awesome sauce? The best way to predict the future, is to create it. |
The Following 7 Users Say Thank You to Blade For This Useful Post: |
09-16-2015, 10:14 AM | #8 | |
Junior Member
How Do You Identify?:
Femme Preferred Pronoun?:
Anything feminine Relationship Status:
Single Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: Toronto, Ontario
Posts: 83
Thanks: 78
Thanked 257 Times in 67 Posts
Rep Power: 3650736 |
Quote:
I am a social butterfly as well. I won't mix well with someone who doesn't enjoy being social and mingle with people. |
|
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to cassiopeia67 For This Useful Post: |
03-07-2016, 01:42 PM | #9 |
Infamous Member
How Do You Identify?:
femme *blows a kiss off my finger tips ** Preferred Pronoun?:
~ hey girl ~ Relationship Status:
~ single & content ~ Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Massachusetts ~coastal
Posts: 7,905
Thanks: 22,958
Thanked 16,109 Times in 4,734 Posts
Rep Power: 21474858 |
~
~ Viva Le Difference ~
__________________
~ Always, ocean |
The Following 7 Users Say Thank You to ~ocean For This Useful Post: |
03-07-2016, 09:41 PM | #10 |
Senior Member
How Do You Identify?:
feminine dolly dyke Preferred Pronoun?:
Your Grace Relationship Status:
I put my own care first Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: In a gauze of mystery
Posts: 1,776
Thanks: 2,426
Thanked 9,723 Times in 1,612 Posts
Rep Power: 21474852 |
I usually work best with gregarious introverts. I'm a shy extrovert, and emotionally reserved.
I am also very slow to make judgements. Very slow. I feel I need a lot of information. But I seem to always partner with people who make fast judgement calls. So opposites in many tempraments but not all. I need people who are emotionally level. Not highly excitable, very sensitive or easily offended. Or moody or have a temper. I need even keeled, emotionally. Crying at puppies on the TV is one thing, but getting pissed off at dark/morbid humour or being highly anxious is quite another. So some ways I like and enjoy and need opposites. But I need people who have a similar sense of humour, similar politics and values, and similar life goals. And we need a few interests in common or I'll be bored to death outside the bedroom. It's a mix of opposites and commonalities that would make someone appealing. Luckily, I don't have to worry about how that would mesh livng together because that has never worked for me. So I won't do it anymore. I don't have to worry about their living habits because I won't have to deal with them I'm single and likely single for the foreseeable future. Unless someone local drops out of the sky and likes me for who I am, not who I could be for them. |
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to imperfect_cupcake For This Useful Post: |
03-07-2016, 10:48 PM | #11 |
Senior Member
How Do You Identify?:
stone butch Preferred Pronoun?:
makes no diffrence,I know who I am. Relationship Status:
single,maybe looking if the right person comes along. Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: shreveport,Louisiana
Posts: 4,907
Thanks: 4,682
Thanked 14,937 Times in 3,937 Posts
Rep Power: 21474855 |
I am a typical Aries, found out years ago that for the most part two fire ball Aries don't mix well for long. Also cancers are a constant power struggle in one way or the other, I am pretty much a laid back border line quiet book worm kind of person till the time comes to be a full on Aries in all of its various ways. I have learned not to jump into anything till I know what's going on...That came with much maturity.
|
The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to Rockinonahigh For This Useful Post: |
03-08-2016, 09:26 AM | #12 |
Practically Lives Here
How Do You Identify?:
Femm Preferred Pronoun?:
She Relationship Status:
**loved by many** Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Closer to the waves
Posts: 15,010
Thanks: 28,588
Thanked 40,220 Times in 10,411 Posts
Rep Power: 21474864 |
The desire to learn more is the attracting quality I seek. If you can hold my attention, keep up/or match my wit, that will be what I'm attracted too. I get bored easy.
Your opposite traits will only intrigue me more. I will jump in and let you share the things that don't interest me. But, they will, because that is what I find interesting in you. Your excitement of talking about it, explaining to me , defining things, sharing that part of you will only make my heart happy. I may not jump in wholeheartingly, but I will respect your "opposite" interests. I will allow you time to pursue your interests always! As you will let me do the same with mine. That's sharing the personality of our relationship. Its how we view life and where we have been, that will keep us attracted to each other. And, finding out we both love, the ocean, the same music, cilantro, steaks cooked rare, clean sheets, ping pong and taking bubble baths, is an added plus! Go ahead, you can like snakes, scary movies, spam and fishing! It's what we bring together, that attracts us!
__________________
kisses A kiss is a whisper in your mouth. Can I borrow a kiss? I promise to give it back. |
The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to Bèsame* For This Useful Post: |
03-08-2016, 10:03 AM | #13 |
Senior Member
How Do You Identify?:
Femme Preferred Pronoun?:
She Relationship Status:
Nunya Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Bernlandia
Posts: 1,740
Thanks: 4,286
Thanked 5,525 Times in 1,386 Posts
Rep Power: 21474850 |
Yes, extroverts make life fun. With other introverts I tend to stay in my shell. My best friend in high school was an extrovert who always had a clever retort and that twinkle of mischief in her eyes. It was the best. The only thing I can't tolerate are crowds and large groups.
__________________
Now say you're sorry for ushering in the fourth fucking reich- anonymous |
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Angeltoes For This Useful Post: |
10-11-2017, 08:41 PM | #14 |
Junior Member
How Do You Identify?:
femme Join Date: Oct 2017
Location: maryland
Posts: 31
Thanks: 0
Thanked 21 Times in 11 Posts
Rep Power: 214755 |
my first love was my opposite but we didn't work well together.
|
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to lisa93 For This Useful Post: |
10-13-2017, 04:38 AM | #15 |
Practically Lives Here
How Do You Identify?:
Queer Stone Femme Girl of the Unicorn Variety Preferred Pronoun?:
She, as in 'She's a GEM' Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: The roads are narrow here
Posts: 36,631
Thanks: 182,485
Thanked 108,775 Times in 25,689 Posts
Rep Power: 21474887 |
DC and I compliment one another very well. Our strengths and weaknesses balance each other out and make it easier to move through life's obstacles. I tend to get upset quickly but it burns out shortly whilst He tends to have a slow burning wick but when He gets upset, there's Hell to pay. He's more quiet and I'm more social. We're very yin and yang but We have a lot of similarities too. I think that 100% opposites will have a harder time of it than a couple that is 75-85% opposite. There's needs to be some sort of overlapping, be it favorite foods, TV shows, hobbies, etc.
|
10-13-2017, 05:04 AM | #16 |
Practically Lives Here
How Do You Identify?:
Femme Preferred Pronoun?:
dee Relationship Status:
Hitched up Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Livin’ the Dream
Posts: 24,079
Thanks: 30,560
Thanked 54,939 Times in 13,921 Posts
Rep Power: 21474873 |
i totally think opposites attract and as long as you let each other be who you are, it can (and is for me) amazing
|
The Following 6 Users Say Thank You to girl_dee For This Useful Post: |
05-18-2023, 04:37 PM | #17 | |
Senior Member
How Do You Identify?:
~ Femme ~ Join Date: May 2010
Location: A pale blue dot in a sea of red
Posts: 15,409
Thanks: 35,037
Thanked 32,586 Times in 10,200 Posts
Rep Power: 21474866 |
*bump bump*
Quote:
We are polar opposites. LOL. I'm the introvert. My Love is the extrovert (with a generous dose of introversion). When we are together, it is H E A V E N on earth. When we are apart, it is H E L L (but we have mad respect for each other, so we stay together more than we are apart).
__________________
“Voting for Kamala Harris prevents an unwanted presidency,” — Democratic slogan seen on the web. |
|
The Following User Says Thank You to Kätzchen For This Useful Post: |
05-20-2023, 12:52 PM | #18 |
Infamous Member
How Do You Identify?:
Ochiba Preferred Pronoun?:
b. grrl Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: crescent moon
Posts: 8,972
Thanks: 21,445
Thanked 21,584 Times in 6,840 Posts
Rep Power: 21474859 |
hmm, yes & no...in the b/f dynamic there is definitely a complementary difference that i appreciate..but that is not enough...i think sharing the same vision, politics, interests, sexual appetite, financial habits and (ideal)beliefs can make a heaven or hell........
__________________
"All cruelty springs from weakness" Seneca |
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to kittygrrl For This Useful Post: |
|
|