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08-31-2012, 02:21 PM
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#1 |
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Infamous Member
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Biological female. Lesbian. Relationship Status:
Happy  Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Hanging out in the Atlantic.
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BIC pens for her sparks snarkfest on Amazon
Ok, BIC created a line of pens made just for Her. It is part of Bic’s new line of pens, called “Bic Cristal for Her,” a ballpoint pen that comes in an array of pastel colors (though only blue or black ink, for now). On Amazon, the company describes the pen as having a “thin barrel to fit a women’s (sic) hand,” making it an “elegant design—just for her!” The Bic website also notes that the pen features a clear tinted barrel “for visible ink supply,” because apparently women can’t otherwise tell when a pen has run out of ink.  The pens have sparked the funniest tongue in cheek customer reviews I have seen in a very long time. Yes, I did go thru 40 pages of comments to find my favorites. Deal with it. Check these out: ~ Forget the Fountain of Youth! I simply must have these, for they will restore my youthful glow, as well as my ability to menstruate! ~I'm afraid I can give this pen only one star, pertaining to the distinct lack of unicorns and rainbows that emerge from the end of this ballpoint. I put this pen to paper expecting to be transported immediately to a mystical world populated by tampon fairies and rivers of glistening, flowing utero wall. Instead I found myself writing. ~I have never bought anything quite like it. I held the pen for the first time and was instantly transported to a zen-like state. Lotuses appeared and my third eye opened. I heard the voice of God soon after. It is a must-have for anyone who is tired of uncomfortable pens. ~Personally I like to do all my writing with a dagger dipped in the blood of sexist dinosaurs, but that's just me..... ~This seemed to work ok on low flow days but on heavy flow days I ended up looking like a crime scene. I still prefer Playtex Gentle Glide Tampons... ~This pen only writes 77 words for every 100 words the man pens can write. EQUAL PEN FOR EQUAL WORDS! ~This pen neither strong enough for a man nor PH balanced for a woman. You know what else isn't PH balanced for a woman? Terrorism. ~Before I buy, I wonder if the BIC for Her pen contains the same amount of ink as the regular BIC pen. Fairly, it should. Or would that make the BIC for Her pen too heavy? Does anyone know? ~This is a very functional pen. My only concern is that it might be a little TOO empowering for women. I would suggest swapping out the ballpoint tip for a rubber stamp that says, "Yes sir," or "I heart pink," or "Can you please open this jar for me?" ~Very PC I'm sure to have a For Her pen, but where are the transgender pens? I'm torn between a For Her bic and the standard masculine variety. It's as if Bic think transgender people don't exist. ~Freud was right - I have been suffering from pen envy as being a woman I have the wrong gender/writing implement alignment. I can never have a real pen like men have so thank you Bic for curing my dysfunctional psyche by giving me a "pen" of my own... ~This is NOT a pen for ladies. The outside of the pen is pink and purple but the ink is BLACK, and has no glitter or shimmer AT ALL. Bic has completely missed its target audience. ~ I am a full-figured gal with full-figured hands, and I need a pen built for me. The Bic For Her made my rear end look enormous! It barely fit me. My best friend, who still buys clothes in the Junior section, loves these, but she looks great using ANY pen. I hate her sometimes. ~I was wondering if you could make Bic For Her ribbed for my pleasure? ~Bic have inadvertantly opened Pandora's box and empowered women everywhere to vote. This will herald a whirlwind of change. ~Finally, a pen made specifically for the weaker sex (giggle, giggle. I said sex). We have come a long way. To think, yesterday, as I was preparing mastadon stew for my mate, I had no idea that today there would be a tool that would allow me to write! Perhaps, and one can only hope, women will soon be able to vote, own property, decide whether or not to have children. The possiblities are endless. Thank you, Bic! ~I used my new pen to write a letter to my local Congressman requesting equal pay for women and a preservation of my reproductive rights... and then the ground began to shake, the world around me crumbled into flames and molten stone, everything went black, and I was torn asunder from the universe. Did I use it wrong???? ~How come they get "special" pens of their own? Are there no pens for him as well? Not impressed. Can we have our own colours such as grey or brown and all rough and manlike? ~But wait a moment - once the women get the pens, what are they supposed to write on? Man paper? ~I thought this was a tampon and now there is scribbling all over my vagina. ~I am very disappointed with this product. Whilst it did have an "easy glide", it did not remove any hairs and left me with blue lines from my ankle to my knee. Not up to your usual standards Bic. ~As I man I object in the strongest terms to this sexist thing. It is simply too thin and delicate to get the wax out of my ear and too short to reach down inside my belt to scratch with. ~Hopefully a range of ‘for her’ paperclips is on the horizon. ~I had despaired of ever being able to write down said recipes in a permanent manner, though my men-folk assured me that I “shouldn’t worry yer pretty little head”. But, AT LAST! Bic, the great liberator, has released a womanly pen that my gentle baby hands can use without fear of unlady-like callouses and bruises. Thank you, Bic! ~Ate a whole box yesterday for breakfast. Taste like strawberry licorice and oppression. ~ME NEEDED PEN FOR TO WRITE. ME PICK UP PEN. PEN SMALL. PEN SAY 'FOR WO MAN'. ME MAN. ME USE PEN. PEN NO WRITE! WHY PEN NO WRITE! PEN BREAK WHEN MAN SLAM PEN INTO MAN CAVE BRICK WALL. PEN GONE. STILL NEED PEN. STILL NEED WRITE. BIC PEN FOR WO MAN NO WORK FOR ME MAN. WHAT 'WO' MEAN? ~I mean, for the world's first marital aid/writing utensil, they sure made it difficult to find the POWER switch on these things. Wait...these are hybrid dildo pens, right? Of course they are... no one would be stupid enough to make pen "JUST FOR HER" unless it had an auxiliary function like inducing orgasms mid-sentence, would theOHHHHHHHHHHGODDDDDDDDD!!!!!!!!!!! Nevermind, found it. ~I do not understand why a pen for her is so phallic. Why does a tool of self-expression have to bear the very shape of the symbol of the patriarchy? ~Fortunately, Bic has now invented what I've been seeking my whole life. A pen I can operate using my vagina. [ame="http://www.amazon.co.uk/product-reviews/B004FTGJUW/ref=cm_cr_pr_btm_link_1?ie=UTF8&showViewpoints=0&s ortBy=bySubmissionDateDescending"]Amazon.co.uk: Customer Reviews: BIC For Her Amber Medium Ballpoint Pen (Box of 12) - Black[/ame]
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08-31-2012, 02:27 PM
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#2 |
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☆ the stars are aligned ☆
How Do You Identify?:
one queer mama Preferred Pronoun?:
she/her Relationship Status:
married to my Boo Daddy <3 
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: nor cal
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All I can say is WOW!
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08-31-2012, 02:39 PM
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#3 |
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Senior Member
How Do You Identify?:
The original lime-twisted femme Preferred Pronoun?:
I answer to most things, especially lesbian. Relationship Status:
Still loving my Mare ;) 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 4,683
Thanks: 1,343
Thanked 11,420 Times in 2,976 Posts
Rep Power: 21474855 |
These are my favorites:
~This is a very functional pen. My only concern is that it might be a little TOO empowering for women. I would suggest swapping out the ballpoint tip for a rubber stamp that says, "Yes sir," or "I heart pink," or "Can you please open this jar for me?" ~Very PC I'm sure to have a For Her pen, but where are the transgender pens? I'm torn between a For Her bic and the standard masculine variety. It's as if Bic think transgender people don't exist. ~Freud was right - I have been suffering from pen envy as being a woman I have the wrong gender/writing implement alignment. I can never have a real pen like men have so thank you Bic for curing my dysfunctional psyche by giving me a "pen" of my own... ~ I am a full-figured gal with full-figured hands, and I need a pen built for me. The Bic For Her made my rear end look enormous! It barely fit me. My best friend, who still buys clothes in the Junior section, loves these, but she looks great using ANY pen. I hate her sometimes. ~I used my new pen to write a letter to my local Congressman requesting equal pay for women and a preservation of my reproductive rights... and then the ground began to shake, the world around me crumbled into flames and molten stone, everything went black, and I was torn asunder from the universe. Did I use it wrong???? ~But wait a moment - once the women get the pens, what are they supposed to write on? Man paper? ~Ate a whole box yesterday for breakfast. Taste like strawberry licorice and oppression. ~ME NEEDED PEN FOR TO WRITE. ME PICK UP PEN. PEN SMALL. PEN SAY 'FOR WO MAN'. ME MAN. ME USE PEN. PEN NO WRITE! WHY PEN NO WRITE! PEN BREAK WHEN MAN SLAM PEN INTO MAN CAVE BRICK WALL. PEN GONE. STILL NEED PEN. STILL NEED WRITE. BIC PEN FOR WO MAN NO WORK FOR ME MAN. WHAT 'WO' MEAN? ~Fortunately, Bic has now invented what I've been seeking my whole life. A pen I can operate using my vagina.
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08-31-2012, 02:43 PM
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#4 |
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Member
How Do You Identify?:
gay. I'm very happy, thank you! Preferred Pronoun?:
Miss Relationship Status:
Chefhmboyrd's seeing eye blonde Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Nashvegas
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Omg!
My love, she is an Amber Medium
That slips within my fingers' warm caress And flows so smooth, that halting tedium Were by this rendered fairly in redress. Too soft! Some say, for woman's hand to find, Too palely light, too gender'd or too thin, But know they not, that prattle in this kind, The joy this slender box doth grasp therein. Thou wert not made for men's eyes, noble BIC! Thy form and softly sheen are for mine own. O never be it said thou art a trick Of basest marketers and pranksters sown. Thus glitt'ring from the Amber shines the lamp, on Beauty's fairest form - belike, a tampon. Another review.  This sh!t is craking me up! |
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08-31-2012, 02:43 PM
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#5 |
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Senior Member
How Do You Identify?:
man Preferred Pronoun?:
beef Relationship Status:
Uncle Daddy Snap Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: nashvegas
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Does it require an applicator?
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what's a cowboy got to do to get a drink around here? 
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08-31-2012, 02:45 PM
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#6 |
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MILLION $$$ PUSSY
How Do You Identify?:
Kinky, Raw, Perverted, Uber Queer Alpha Femme Preferred Pronoun?:
Iconic Ms. Relationship Status:
Keeper of 3, only one has the map to my freckles 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: ** La Reina del Sur**
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Ha!
~Personally, I like to do all my writing with a dagger dipped in the blood of sexist dinosaurs, but that's just me.....
My favorite!!!! Way to FAIL BIC! Know you're audience!
__________________
"If you’re going to play these dirty games of ours, then you might as well indulge completely. It’s all about turning back into an animal and that’s the beauty of it. Place your guilt on the sidewalk and take a blow torch to it (guilt is usually worthless anyway). Be perverted, be filthy, do things that mannered people shouldn’t do. If you’re going to be gross then go for it and don’t wimp out."---Master Aiden   |
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08-31-2012, 02:45 PM
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#7 |
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Senior Member
How Do You Identify?:
The original lime-twisted femme Preferred Pronoun?:
I answer to most things, especially lesbian. Relationship Status:
Still loving my Mare ;)
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 4,683
Thanks: 1,343
Thanked 11,420 Times in 2,976 Posts
Rep Power: 21474855 |
The real question is ... is it perfume scented?
That could be the deal breaker for me.
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08-31-2012, 02:45 PM
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#8 | |
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Senior Member
How Do You Identify?:
The original lime-twisted femme Preferred Pronoun?:
I answer to most things, especially lesbian. Relationship Status:
Still loving my Mare ;)
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 4,683
Thanks: 1,343
Thanked 11,420 Times in 2,976 Posts
Rep Power: 21474855 |
Quote:
That's HAWT.
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08-31-2012, 02:48 PM
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#9 |
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Senior Member
How Do You Identify?:
The original lime-twisted femme Preferred Pronoun?:
I answer to most things, especially lesbian. Relationship Status:
Still loving my Mare ;)
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 4,683
Thanks: 1,343
Thanked 11,420 Times in 2,976 Posts
Rep Power: 21474855 |
Hey?!? Will it make me a sammich??
(cause isn't that what women do?)
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08-31-2012, 02:51 PM
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#10 | |
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Member
How Do You Identify?:
gay. I'm very happy, thank you! Preferred Pronoun?:
Miss Relationship Status:
Chefhmboyrd's seeing eye blonde Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Nashvegas
Posts: 253
Thanks: 412
Thanked 1,109 Times in 229 Posts
Rep Power: 6596929 |
Quote:
"I bought this for my wife as it specifically says that the pen has been designed for a woman's hands, but when my wife excitedly opened the box (I obviously had to rip it open with my man-hands first as the card was far too thick for her dainty fingers), i did in fact notice that, contrary to my understanding, the pen was shaped nothing like an iron! Nor was it the colour of a dishcloth! I dont understand how on Earth any woman is going to be able to use these, or at least understand it is designed for them when it lacks even the basic characteristics which makes it 'designed for women'." |
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08-31-2012, 02:52 PM
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#11 |
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Timed Out - TOS Drama
How Do You Identify?:
........ 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: ........
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Does it fart unicorns and bunnies?
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08-31-2012, 02:53 PM
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#12 |
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Senior Member
How Do You Identify?:
The original lime-twisted femme Preferred Pronoun?:
I answer to most things, especially lesbian. Relationship Status:
Still loving my Mare ;)
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 4,683
Thanks: 1,343
Thanked 11,420 Times in 2,976 Posts
Rep Power: 21474855 |
Reviewer [ame="http://www.amazon.com/gp/pdp/profile/A3JASR7VPC6OR8/ref=cm_cr_dp_pdp"]Rachel[/ame] also helpfully gives a heads up to all the guys out there:
"The 'for her' label is not just a gimmick exploiting archaic gender constructs, it's a WARNING. Even if you're a boy who likes pastels and glitter (which really I don't see why you shouldn't, what kind of moron thinks that only girls would like that kind of thing? seems kind of backwards to me) this pen is NOT for you. I don't know why they didn't put a clearer warning on the label, they really should have because if you are a boy and use this pen you put yourself at great risk. My little brother turned into a unicorn after I lent him one, and my friend told me that a boy in her class grew fairy wings in the middle of a test." "Oh. My. God. I've been doing it all wrong," quipped another. "There was me thinking I didn't need to worry about whether my writing implement sufficiently reflected my gender. Thank you so much Bic for showing me the error of my ways. Perhaps Bic will also bring out a new range of pink (or purple) feminine spanners, screwdrivers, electric drills and angle grinders so that I can carry out my job as a bicycle mechanic without further embarrassing myself? Luckily my male colleagues have managed to keep their disapproval of my use of their masculine tools to themselves. I'm so ashamed. And re-educated as to my place in society. Thanks again Bic!" I was recently given a box of these as a gift from my husband, but I have no idea what to do with them! They're too thin to make a good rolling pin. I can't ladle out my soups with them. And the tiny point doesn't even make a dent when I try to use one to chop veggies! I don't get it. If I can't use it in the kitchen, what the hell am I supposed to do with one??? – kitchenwench
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08-31-2012, 02:59 PM
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#13 |
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Senior Member
How Do You Identify?:
The original lime-twisted femme Preferred Pronoun?:
I answer to most things, especially lesbian. Relationship Status:
Still loving my Mare ;)
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 4,683
Thanks: 1,343
Thanked 11,420 Times in 2,976 Posts
Rep Power: 21474855 |
I would SOOOO love to be a Bic employee right now - imagine receiving these reviews all day long?
Oh my goodness - where have these been all my life? My hands are tiny, delicate and perfectly formed. I have to admit that they're more suited to activities such as petit point and kitten stroking than writing; in short, they are nothing like a man's fat, hairy mitt. Up until now I've spent countless hours sobbing that there was no writing implement designed especially for ME. I haven't actually tried one of these BIC beauties yet as they're just so adorable all I want to go is gaze at them and lick the pink one from time to time. – V.M. Wells I so want the pink one now. I allowed my wife to write the grocery list with one of my pens. Shortly thereafter she went out and bought a bunch of flannel shirts, cut the sleeves off and grew a mullet. While she was writing her feminist manifesto, I secretly switched out the man pen with a BiC For Her. She's now back to baking apple pies, vacuuming in heels, and popping bennies in order to keep her girlish figure... like a proper American gal.
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08-31-2012, 03:37 PM
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#14 |
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Member
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a bold-assed maximus Preferred Pronoun?:
she Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: mississippi
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ooo i did laugh out loud !!
~I thought this was a tampon and now there is scribbling all over my vagina.
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08-31-2012, 05:40 PM
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#15 |
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Senior Member
How Do You Identify?:
Femme lesbian Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: East coast
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Thanked 12,300 Times in 2,057 Posts
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This thread is just what I needed today, a smart, funny distraction!
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08-31-2012, 06:19 PM
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#16 |
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Member
How Do You Identify?:
Femme Preferred Pronoun?:
Sweet Femme ones Relationship Status:
Peeking around the corner... 
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Rochester, NY
Posts: 874
Thanks: 6,380
Thanked 4,375 Times in 804 Posts
Rep Power: 21474850 |
I allowed my wife to write the grocery list with one of my pens. Shortly thereafter she went out and bought a bunch of flannel shirts, cut the sleeves off and grew a mullet. While she was writing her feminist manifesto, I secretly switched out the man pen with a BiC For Her. She's now back to baking apple pies, vacuuming in heels, and popping bennies in order to keep her girlish figure... like a proper American gal.[/QUOTE]
OMG...This has me laughing so damn hard....it's hysterically hilarious!!!
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 "I do not exist to impress the world. I exist to live my life in a way that will make me happy." ~Richard Bach
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08-31-2012, 08:10 PM
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#17 |
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Infamous Member
How Do You Identify?:
Lesbian non-stone femme Preferred Pronoun?:
She, her Relationship Status:
Committed to being good to myself Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: West Coast
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Women are so totally awesome! No wonder I'm a lesbo!
These reviews literally had me laughing till I was crying. Oh Bic, Bic. WTF. Did an entire company lose their minds?
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~Anya~  Democracy Dies in Darkness ~Washington Post "...I'm deeply concerned by recently adopted policies which punish children for their parents’ actions ... The thought that any State would seek to deter parents by inflicting such abuse on children is unconscionable." UN Human Rights commissioner |
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08-31-2012, 08:25 PM
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#18 | |
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Timed Out - Permanent
How Do You Identify?:
Queer (gender), female (biological marker) Preferred Pronoun?:
she will work as a default. Relationship Status:
*engaged to jac* until 8/10/14 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Maine
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Quote:
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08-31-2012, 08:42 PM
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#19 |
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Senior Member
How Do You Identify?:
femme lesbian feminist Preferred Pronoun?:
Anything except for "aunty" Relationship Status:
Happy with my butch. 
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Aotearoa New Zealand
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But, if you're woman using a pen "for her" ... wouldn't that make you a lesbian? Imagine if you lick it?!
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happiness is a form of courage. George Holbrook Jackson Risk! Risk anything! Care no more for the opinions of others, for those voices. Do the hardest thing on earth for you. Act for yourself. Face the truth. Katherine Mansfield Motivate yourself or be miserable. Whatever has to be done, it's always your choice. Wayne Dyer |
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09-17-2012, 01:24 AM
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#20 |
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Timed Out
How Do You Identify?:
sb Relationship Status:
Single Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: the earth
Posts: 36
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Thanked 78 Times in 26 Posts
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Aw Man! I couldnt even think of anything new to say that was funny, sarcastic, or mean about these Bic pens----it has already been said.
All I could do was laugh and shake my head, Also wonder when these pens will be sold in the "discreet" section of the Adult BookStore so that I can go and get me a box, lol.    
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