Corny jokes

Mopsie · 08-04-2013, 07:10 AM

I work in mental health. My part time job is at a group home. One of the residents loves corny jokes. Everytime I come to work she has a new one to tell me. Then I tell her a corny joke back. I have now exhausted my knowledge of corny jokes. I know I could just google corny jokes but I thought a thread would be more fun!

So what are the corny jokes you know?

Mopsie · 08-04-2013, 07:14 AM

Here's a joke she told me yesterday:

There are two potatoes standing on a street corner.

How do you know which one is the prostitute?

Answer: The one wearing the sign "Idaho."

Wrang1er · 08-04-2013, 07:42 AM

You stay here. I'll go on a head.

Gaige · 08-04-2013, 07:45 AM

What’s Irish and stays out all night?

Pati-o furniture :-p

Hollylane · 08-04-2013, 09:14 AM

What does a mermaid wear to math class?

An algae-bra.

Cin · 08-04-2013, 10:57 AM

How do you make holy water?

You boil the hell out of it.

always2late · 08-04-2013, 11:35 AM

Two french fries were walking down the road, and one was a-salted.

PaPa · 08-04-2013, 11:53 AM

So, the Three Wise Men have arrived in Bethlehem, and have found the stable with Mary, Joseph, and Jesus. As the enter the stable, the 1st Wise Man ducks through the low door, turns his head and calls over his should "Heads up, low beam". The 2nd Wise Man ducks as well, but doesn't warn the Wise Man following, who walks straight into the knotty pine beam. "Jesus Christ!!" he exclaims, slapping a hand to his bruised forehead.

"You know, I like that better than Irving!" Mary says to Joseph....

VintageFemme · 08-04-2013, 01:41 PM

How do you catch a unique rabbit?

U nique up on it.

How do you catch a tame rabbit?

Tame way.

Wrang1er · 08-04-2013, 02:27 PM

What did the mother buffalo say when her boy went off to college?

Bison!

Wrang1er · 08-04-2013, 02:31 PM

How much does a pirate pay for corn?

A buccaneer.

stargazingboi · 08-04-2013, 03:17 PM

What did one toilet say to the other toilet?

~You look flushed

Mopsie · 08-04-2013, 03:32 PM

Q: What do you call a pig who takes karate lessons?

A: Pork chop!

(Said with appropriate accompanying hand gestures ... which made it cuter.)

stargazingboi · 08-04-2013, 03:53 PM

why did the clown go to the doctors?

~he was feeling funny

PoeticSilence · 08-05-2013, 03:02 AM

What has no beginning, no end, and nothing in the middle?

A doughnut.

Mopsie · 08-05-2013, 08:12 AM

Q: What kind of coffee did they serve on the Titanic?

A: Sanka

Heavenleahangel · 08-05-2013, 08:34 AM

Why did the cookie go to the doctor?
He was feely crumby!

Canela · 08-05-2013, 10:24 AM

What did one plate say to the other?

Lunch is on me!

LeftWriteFemme · 08-05-2013, 12:25 PM

Why is 6 afraid of 7?

7 8 9...............these are the jokes folks!

MsTinkerbelly · 08-05-2013, 01:00 PM

Why does a mermaid wear seashells?

Because A is too small, and D is too big.

08-04-2013, 07:10 AM	#1
Mopsie Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: Female ones Relationship Status: Single Join Date: Mar 2013 Location: Shenandoah Valley Virginia Posts: 4,769 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 36,246 Thanked 8,554 Times in 1,856 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	Corny jokes I work in mental health. My part time job is at a group home. One of the residents loves corny jokes. Everytime I come to work she has a new one to tell me. Then I tell her a corny joke back. I have now exhausted my knowledge of corny jokes. I know I could just google corny jokes but I thought a thread would be more fun! So what are the corny jokes you know?

08-04-2013, 07:42 AM	#3
Wrang1er Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Me, myself and I Join Date: Sep 2011 Location: Here Posts: 1,526 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 6,112 Thanked 7,055 Times in 1,354 Posts Rep Power: 21474851	What did one hat say to the other hat? You stay here. I'll go on a head.

08-04-2013, 09:14 AM	#5
Hollylane Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: . Preferred Pronoun?: . Relationship Status: . Join Date: Jun 2011 Location: . Posts: 11,495 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 34,694 Thanked 26,362 Times in 5,877 Posts Rep Power: 21474861	Cute/fun thread Mopsie! :) What does a mermaid wear to math class? An algae-bra.

08-04-2013, 11:35 AM	#7
always2late Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: m'lady Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: NJ Posts: 2,000 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,834 Thanked 6,231 Times in 1,462 Posts Rep Power: 21474854	Two french fries were walking down the road, and one was a-salted. __________________ Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing there is a field. I'll meet you there ~ Rumi

08-04-2013, 11:53 AM	#8
PaPa Senior Member How Do You Identify?: GQ Butch Daddy Relationship Status: A Very Protective BIG Daddy... Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: Pennsylvania Posts: 2,657 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 7,597 Thanked 5,874 Times in 1,531 Posts Rep Power: 21474854	God forgive me but I thought this was funny.... So, the Three Wise Men have arrived in Bethlehem, and have found the stable with Mary, Joseph, and Jesus. As the enter the stable, the 1st Wise Man ducks through the low door, turns his head and calls over his should "Heads up, low beam". The 2nd Wise Man ducks as well, but doesn't warn the Wise Man following, who walks straight into the knotty pine beam. "Jesus Christ!!" he exclaims, slapping a hand to his bruised forehead. "You know, I like that better than Irving!" Mary says to Joseph....

08-04-2013, 07:14 AM	#2
Mopsie Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: Female ones Relationship Status: Single Join Date: Mar 2013 Location: Shenandoah Valley Virginia Posts: 4,769 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 36,246 Thanked 8,554 Times in 1,856 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	Here's a joke she told me yesterday: There are two potatoes standing on a street corner. How do you know which one is the prostitute? Answer: The one wearing the sign "Idaho."

08-04-2013, 07:45 AM	#4
Gaige Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Stone Butch Join Date: Oct 2010 Location: above my boots Posts: 2,097 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,649 Thanked 3,755 Times in 1,171 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	What’s Irish and stays out all night? Pati-o furniture :-p

08-04-2013, 10:57 AM	#6
Cin Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Butch Preferred Pronoun?: she Relationship Status: Truly Madly Deeply Join Date: Aug 2011 Location: In My Head Posts: 2,814 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 6,333 Thanked 10,523 Times in 2,486 Posts Rep Power: 21474852	How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.

08-04-2013, 01:41 PM	#9
VintageFemme Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Relationship Status: Single Join Date: Jul 2011 Location: Outside Posts: 2,299 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,828 Thanked 7,622 Times in 1,655 Posts Rep Power: 21474852	=) How do you catch a unique rabbit? U nique up on it. How do you catch a tame rabbit? Tame way. __________________ Unfinished Business & Open to Serendipity

08-04-2013, 02:27 PM	#10
Wrang1er Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Me, myself and I Join Date: Sep 2011 Location: Here Posts: 1,526 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 6,112 Thanked 7,055 Times in 1,354 Posts Rep Power: 21474851	What did the mother buffalo say when her boy went off to college? Bison!

08-04-2013, 02:31 PM	#11
Wrang1er Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Me, myself and I Join Date: Sep 2011 Location: Here Posts: 1,526 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 6,112 Thanked 7,055 Times in 1,354 Posts Rep Power: 21474851	How much does a pirate pay for corn? A buccaneer.

08-04-2013, 03:17 PM	#12
stargazingboi Senior Member How Do You Identify?: ~ Preferred Pronoun?: ~ Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: ~ Posts: 1,954 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 10,392 Thanked 8,318 Times in 1,626 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	What did one toilet say to the other toilet? ~You look flushed

08-04-2013, 03:32 PM	#13
Mopsie Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: Female ones Relationship Status: Single Join Date: Mar 2013 Location: Shenandoah Valley Virginia Posts: 4,769 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 36,246 Thanked 8,554 Times in 1,856 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	Here's another one my client told me last week ... Q: What do you call a pig who takes karate lessons? A: Pork chop! (Said with appropriate accompanying hand gestures ... which made it cuter.)

08-04-2013, 03:53 PM	#14
stargazingboi Senior Member How Do You Identify?: ~ Preferred Pronoun?: ~ Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: ~ Posts: 1,954 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 10,392 Thanked 8,318 Times in 1,626 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	why did the clown go to the doctors? ~he was feeling funny

08-05-2013, 03:02 AM	#15
PoeticSilence Member How Do You Identify?: dodges labels Relationship Status: Estranged Join Date: Jul 2013 Location: Midwest Posts: 454 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3 Thanked 919 Times in 277 Posts Rep Power: 10661584	What has no beginning, no end, and nothing in the middle? A doughnut. __________________ Love is all you need.

08-05-2013, 08:12 AM	#16
Mopsie Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: Female ones Relationship Status: Single Join Date: Mar 2013 Location: Shenandoah Valley Virginia Posts: 4,769 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 36,246 Thanked 8,554 Times in 1,856 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	A classic Q: What kind of coffee did they serve on the Titanic? A: Sanka

08-05-2013, 08:34 AM	#17
Heavenleahangel Member How Do You Identify?: OFOS Femme; Earth bound Angel and Babygirl; Preferred Pronoun?: She, Angel, as long as it's respectful Relationship Status: Waiting for the One who can complete me Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Albany, NY~but originally from Georgia Posts: 562 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,257 Thanked 2,069 Times in 468 Posts Rep Power: 18675553	Why did the cookie go to the doctor? He was feely crumby! __________________ Sweet Georgia Peach

08-05-2013, 10:24 AM	#18
Canela Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Queer Stone Femme Preferred Pronoun?: Babe, she, her, ella Relationship Status: Well loved… Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: Texas Posts: 2,375 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 10,643 Thanked 6,518 Times in 1,697 Posts Rep Power: 21474854	What did one plate say to the other? Lunch is on me! __________________ . . . . . Happiness is like a butterfly which, when pursued, is always beyond our grasp, but, if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you ~Nathaniel Hawthorne

08-05-2013, 12:25 PM	#19
LeftWriteFemme Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: Daddy's good girl Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Jersey Posts: 16,642 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,529 Thanked 12,310 Times in 5,193 Posts Rep Power: 21474868	Why is 6 afraid of 7? 7 8 9...............these are the jokes folks! __________________ Clicking on these dragon eggs will take you to my new erotic novella: Dragon Bait .........Hope you enjoy it! ________________________________________________ Please take a look at my work Click on flashing smilie to see my website To look at my Daddy/girl erotica book Click on pompom girl to see Elbows on the Table, Palms Flat

08-05-2013, 01:00 PM	#20
MsTinkerbelly Timed Out - TOS Drama How Do You Identify?: ... Preferred Pronoun?: ... Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: ... Posts: 6,573 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 30,737 Thanked 22,924 Times in 5,021 Posts Rep Power: 0	Why does a mermaid wear seashells? Because A is too small, and D is too big.