Kids Say The Darndest Things.....

Diva · 12-04-2009, 07:32 AM

There was a guy on TV when I was a child.....Art Linkletter. He had a show which, I guess, was the predecessor to our Ellen DeGeneres show, et al.

Among other things, he would interview children....it was hysterical. Well...he wrote a book using the title of the thread.

Kids DO say the cutest, funniest, oddest things.......so if You have "Kid Quotes"...this is the place!

Have fun!

Diva · 12-04-2009, 07:36 AM

In 1996, I was a middle school choral director....and I also worked with the elementary choirs which fed into my school.

When my daughter died, I got a whole BOX of letters from my students....and among those were letters from the 5th & 6th grade choirs.......

One of those letters read:

"Dear Mz. Hall,

I'm so sorry your daughter pasted away."

OMG........in the midst of all of that pain, came this touch of precious joy.....it still makes me smile and bring tears to my eyes at the same time.

Words · 12-04-2009, 08:17 AM

My differently abled daughter has a limited vocabulary.

However, she frequently tells B. ''I love you'' whilst completely ignoring me. It's a kind of game...she says it to Hym, I say, ''Hey, what about me?'', she grins, and then (usually) says ''I love you too.'' Anyway, the other day she did this for the about the tenth time in an hour or so so I said, ''Hey, what am I? Badger poo?'' (We get lots of badgers in our garden.) ''Noooooooo,'' she said, ''silly. Fox poo.'' (We also get lots of foxes.) And then she cracked up laughing.

Okay, so it sounds silly, but coming from her - W/we didn't even know that she knew what a fox was, let alone that she was able to make a connnection between the two types of wild animal - it was magic.

Words

Diva · 12-04-2009, 08:24 AM

I love that story.......<smile>

Kenna · 12-04-2009, 08:34 AM

My son was a real pistol! When he was about 4 or 5 (?) we were getting groceries...in the check out isle he bumped into a frail little old lady..I said "watch what you're doin' honey"...this cute little old lady responded "Don't worry, he doesn't have eyes in the back of his head."... my little rascal, with his thick southern drawl and big ice-blue eyes, turned around to face her and promptly announced "But my Momma does! "

MizzSabra · 12-04-2009, 08:52 AM

When my son was about 4 years old, we went into the 7-11 in Fairfax (small town in West Marin), there were 2 cop cars in front of the store. We got out of our car the same time the cops did.....my son walks up to them and tells them "the donuts and coffee are against the back wall." I SWEAR I have never said anything to my kids about cops and donuts. The cops give me a smile and hold the door open for me and my kids.....all the while chuckling to each other about it. I was MORTIFIED.

christie · 12-04-2009, 09:00 AM

My son attended the same elementary school as I did.

The crotchety ole Ms. Dobbins was STILL teaching - and as luck would have it, he was in her first grade class.

On the first day of school, I received a call from her. "Christie, "Bratboy" might have some adjustment issues" (he is autistic). "Oh?" I asked, really not wanting to hear what could have possibly happened on the first day!

"After lunch, he went to his cubby and got a blanket and a stuffed animal out of his backpack (I didnt put them there). He proceeded to find an area on the play mats and laid down. When I went over and explained that he was a big boy now and that we didnt have naps in first grade, he looked up at me and said:

"Who the hell signed me up for this shit?!?!?"

He is SO my son!

Christie

Diva · 12-04-2009, 09:06 AM

Oh these are GREAT, Y'all!!! Thanks!

Stoney · 12-04-2009, 02:27 PM

Just the other day my 3 and a half year old grand Daughter got up early with me and came in and sat on my lap...she was still sleepy and was being so talkative affectionate and just plain cute... in the middle of our conversation she reached up and touched my face and said Grandma you are so pretty...I laughed and I said "oh you silly, Grandma isn't pretty".... she said "Yes you are grandma you have blue eyes like my blue eyes" .... I said "Most people don't think Grandma is pretty. Most people think grandma looks like a boy".....she thought that was hilarious! and she started laughing ... she said "you are not a boy!" and she just kept laughing .... "you are a grandma and you are pretty cause you look just like me and we are the prettiest....."

I thought about how it just tickeled her so to think that people could actually think I was a boy..... cause I have always just been grandma ......

then I realized I had not been told I was pretty for more than 15 years.

I just love that little angel.

Stoney

Dean Thoreau · 12-04-2009, 02:59 PM

thats terrific stoney!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! give the grandkid a hug for me!

always2late · 12-04-2009, 07:25 PM

When my ex and I were still together, we were doing our weekly grocery shopping. My son, who was about 5 at the time, was in the backseat and asked if we could buy some Hershey's kisses at the store. I told him that I would think about it. I was looking for a parking space and neither my ex nor I were paying much attention to the little voice from the back seat...and then I realized what he was saying. "What do we want? Hershey's kisses. When do we want them? NOW! Hershey's now, Hershey's forever!" My ex and I just looked at each other and then she said "Is he back there PROTESTING?!" We about died laughing! What can I say? He's his mother's son

hottprof · 12-04-2009, 07:38 PM

I do not have any kids at this point in my life.. but these posts really made me smile... Congrats to those of you with kids and grandkids

Smiles

Diva · 12-04-2009, 07:44 PM

One Saturday morning, my then~partner let me sleep in and she got up to fix breakfast for all of us.....my youngest child, who was still in a diaper at night, marched into the kitchen, her little hands on her hips, and said, "Lynne! I'm a mess!! CHANGE MY PANTS!!!"

When I want to embarrass her today, I tell that story. She gave me a lot of good material!

evolveme · 12-04-2009, 07:58 PM

My daughter was four-years-old and I'd taken her grocery shopping. To this day, I despise this chore, so I'd decided on this particular day to make her my little helper. Instead of riding in the cart as she usually did, I would allow her to walk with me (her constant request), but I would have her select items that she could reach for me from the shelves. I thought this would keep her engaged as well as close to me, so that I didn't have to chase after her.

She thought this was quite a pleasant task for about the first couple of rows but quickly grew weary of helping. We got to canned items, I think, and when I asked her to hand me a couple of items she put her hands on her little hips, looked back at me and said, "You will be paying for my back surgery, you realize."

(Where they get this stuff, I will never know.)

Kenna · 12-04-2009, 08:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Diva

One Saturday morning, my then~partner let me sleep in and she got up to fix breakfast for all of us.....my youngest child, who was still in a diaper at night, marched into the kitchen, her little hands on her hips, and said, "Lynne! I'm a mess!! CHANGE MY PANTS!!!"

When I want to embarrass her today, I tell that story. She gave me a lot of good material!

LOL that reminds me of a story about my uncle (who's now a Doctor)... The church they attended was very very strict "Old Order" (where the women still don't have a say in things...and the "elders" run the show)... During one Revival meeting, around the time my uncle was being potty trained, several visiting Elders and Deacons were gathered outside near the old out house, my uncle - then a little red-headed fire cracker - stepped out of the "john" with his pants around his ankles and stuck his butt up to an Elder and said "wipe my butt"... Knowing these Elders as I grew up with them, I can just imagine their faces!!

Pixie · 12-05-2009, 12:22 AM

I used to work for an agency where I took care of children with special needs after school at their homes and just do individual care. Well one of my "kids" mom's birthdays were coming up and she had always talked about trying new foods... Well I had 8 yo gorgeousness with me in the kitchen and I started showing her little ways to help me prepare the food. She looked up at me and asked what this was...so I proceeded to tell her I was lebanese and that we are making her mommy a special dinner.

Her mom ended up coming home early in the middle of us cooking and asked what we were doing and gorgeousness said, " She's teaching me how to cook like a lesbian."

Man the look on her very religious mom's face was priceless... but of course I had some explaining to do.

Passionaria · 12-05-2009, 03:46 AM

When my youngest daughter was maybe 5, we were grocery shopping before the holidays. And in the back of the grocery store were freezers bulging full of holiday turkeys. She looked them up and down then began to skip up and down the isle singing loudly to the tune of the show COPS:

Bad turkeys, bad turkeys
whatcha going to do
whatcha going to do
when they come for you

Bad turkeys, bad turkeys
whatcha going to do
whatcha going to do
when they come for you

Everyone shopping in the back of the store stopped to chuckle.Pashi

JAGG · 12-05-2009, 06:22 AM

Wow I could write a novel on the things my "sunshine shadow" Maddie says. She's my extra special niece in more ways than one. She requires a little more forgiveness than most kids need . But I love her for that !
Here's a recent story since I better get going here in a sec.
MY twin took her to an indoor water park a few weeks ago. She's 6 yrs old. and just became a fairly decent swimmer this summer. No floation devises needed now. But we still keep a close eye on her as she tends to have total disreguard for human life at times . lol She is fearless. My sister was waiting in the water at the bottom of a big slide for Maddie to come down , it was about 4 ft to 5 ft deep. When she hit the water instead of swimming over to the side like my twin expected her too, with her head above the water she seemed to be walking over towards my sister. Thinking the water was too deep for her, my twin was surprised. So she asked Maddie, "Oh can you touch the bottom?" Maddie said , " Yes I brought my tippy toes along."

Diva · 12-08-2009, 06:12 AM

Of course there are always the cute stories about how children ~ when learning new words ~ struggle with some.

Erin had a difficult time a few letters....and she actually changed OUR vocabulary.....

Because it is SO much cuter to say "glubs" than "gloves"......and "punking" rather than "pumpkin"......

Ursy · 12-08-2009, 07:00 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Diva

Of course there are always the cute stories about how children ~ when learning new words ~ struggle with some.

Erin had a difficult time a few letters....and she actually changed OUR vocabulary.....

Because it is SO much cuter to say "glubs" than "gloves"......and "punking" rather than "pumpkin"......

Oh yes, Bek had a few of those. Ollycopters (helicopters) and oticots (apricots), and onninges (oranges), and frengly (friendly). We still use frengly today

12-04-2009, 07:32 AM	#1
Diva Timed Out How Do You Identify?: Diva Preferred Pronoun?: Diva Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Chez Diva Posts: 11,879 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 9,263 Thanked 17,174 Times in 5,239 Posts Rep Power: 0	Kids Say The Darndest Things..... There was a guy on TV when I was a child.....Art Linkletter. He had a show which, I guess, was the predecessor to our Ellen DeGeneres show, et al. Among other things, he would interview children....it was hysterical. Well...he wrote a book using the title of the thread. Kids DO say the cutest, funniest, oddest things.......so if You have "Kid Quotes"...this is the place! Have fun!

12-04-2009, 02:59 PM	#10
Dean Thoreau Member How Do You Identify?: Ftm - Male- exfemale Preferred Pronoun?: He’s Him Relationship Status: Has a gf Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Philadelphia pa Posts: 889 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 251 Thanked 760 Times in 219 Posts Rep Power: 4529749	thats terrific stoney!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! give the grandkid a hug for me! __________________ Dean Thoreau

12-04-2009, 07:25 PM	#11
always2late Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: m'lady Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: NJ Posts: 2,000 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,834 Thanked 6,231 Times in 1,462 Posts Rep Power: 21474854	When my ex and I were still together, we were doing our weekly grocery shopping. My son, who was about 5 at the time, was in the backseat and asked if we could buy some Hershey's kisses at the store. I told him that I would think about it. I was looking for a parking space and neither my ex nor I were paying much attention to the little voice from the back seat...and then I realized what he was saying. "What do we want? Hershey's kisses. When do we want them? NOW! Hershey's now, Hershey's forever!" My ex and I just looked at each other and then she said "Is he back there PROTESTING?!" We about died laughing! What can I say? He's his mother's son __________________ Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing there is a field. I'll meet you there ~ Rumi

12-04-2009, 07:58 PM	#14
evolveme Member How Do You Identify?: honeysuckle venom Preferred Pronoun?: a pistol and a sugar cane Relationship Status: I promise to aid and abet Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: in between poems where ceilings are floors and joe ghost floats achromatic toward day Posts: 514 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 229 Thanked 736 Times in 228 Posts Rep Power: 503698	My daughter was four-years-old and I'd taken her grocery shopping. To this day, I despise this chore, so I'd decided on this particular day to make her my little helper. Instead of riding in the cart as she usually did, I would allow her to walk with me (her constant request), but I would have her select items that she could reach for me from the shelves. I thought this would keep her engaged as well as close to me, so that I didn't have to chase after her. She thought this was quite a pleasant task for about the first couple of rows but quickly grew weary of helping. We got to canned items, I think, and when I asked her to hand me a couple of items she put her hands on her little hips, looked back at me and said, "You will be paying for my back surgery, you realize." (Where they get this stuff, I will never know.) __________________ Class, race, sexuality, gender and all other categories by which we categorize and dismiss each other need to be excavated from the inside. - Dorothy Allison

12-05-2009, 12:22 AM	#16
Pixie Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Equal Opportunity Friend Preferred Pronoun?: Girl Relationship Status: in service Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Sacramento! Posts: 2,868 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 5,691 Thanked 4,103 Times in 1,332 Posts Rep Power: 15274784	I used to work for an agency where I took care of children with special needs after school at their homes and just do individual care. Well one of my "kids" mom's birthdays were coming up and she had always talked about trying new foods... Well I had 8 yo gorgeousness with me in the kitchen and I started showing her little ways to help me prepare the food. She looked up at me and asked what this was...so I proceeded to tell her I was lebanese and that we are making her mommy a special dinner. Her mom ended up coming home early in the middle of us cooking and asked what we were doing and gorgeousness said, " She's teaching me how to cook like a lesbian." Man the look on her very religious mom's face was priceless... but of course I had some explaining to do. __________________ Unexplored glimmering in the rough How does a diamond hide? -Pixie-

12-04-2009, 07:36 AM	#2
Diva Timed Out How Do You Identify?: Diva Preferred Pronoun?: Diva Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Chez Diva Posts: 11,879 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 9,263 Thanked 17,174 Times in 5,239 Posts Rep Power: 0	In 1996, I was a middle school choral director....and I also worked with the elementary choirs which fed into my school. When my daughter died, I got a whole BOX of letters from my students....and among those were letters from the 5th & 6th grade choirs....... One of those letters read: "Dear Mz. Hall, I'm so sorry your daughter pasted away." OMG........in the midst of all of that pain, came this touch of precious joy.....it still makes me smile and bring tears to my eyes at the same time.

12-04-2009, 08:17 AM	#3
Words Member How Do You Identify?: Queer femme submissive Relationship Status: Married Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: UK Posts: 969 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,449 Thanked 4,259 Times in 677 Posts Rep Power: 21474852	My differently abled daughter has a limited vocabulary. However, she frequently tells B. ''I love you'' whilst completely ignoring me. It's a kind of game...she says it to Hym, I say, ''Hey, what about me?'', she grins, and then (usually) says ''I love you too.'' Anyway, the other day she did this for the about the tenth time in an hour or so so I said, ''Hey, what am I? Badger poo?'' (We get lots of badgers in our garden.) ''Noooooooo,'' she said, ''silly. Fox poo.'' (We also get lots of foxes.) And then she cracked up laughing. Okay, so it sounds silly, but coming from her - W/we didn't even know that she knew what a fox was, let alone that she was able to make a connnection between the two types of wild animal - it was magic. Words

12-04-2009, 08:24 AM	#4
Diva Timed Out How Do You Identify?: Diva Preferred Pronoun?: Diva Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Chez Diva Posts: 11,879 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 9,263 Thanked 17,174 Times in 5,239 Posts Rep Power: 0	*I love that story.......<smile>*

12-04-2009, 08:34 AM	#5
Kenna Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Fiery, Sassy, Tough As Nails, Femme Tomboy Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: I am your favorite hello and hardest goodbye. Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: NC & CO Posts: 4,806 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 4,624 Thanked 12,196 Times in 3,779 Posts Rep Power: 21474856	My son was a real pistol! When he was about 4 or 5 (?) we were getting groceries...in the check out isle he bumped into a frail little old lady..I said "watch what you're doin' honey"...this cute little old lady responded "Don't worry, he doesn't have eyes in the back of his head."... my little rascal, with his thick southern drawl and big ice-blue eyes, turned around to face her and promptly announced "*But my Momma does!* "

12-04-2009, 08:52 AM	#6
MizzSabra Member How Do You Identify?: N/a Relationship Status: N/A Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: N/A Posts: 107 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 16 Thanked 111 Times in 41 Posts Rep Power: 60798	When my son was about 4 years old, we went into the 7-11 in Fairfax (small town in West Marin), there were 2 cop cars in front of the store. We got out of our car the same time the cops did.....my son walks up to them and tells them "the donuts and coffee are against the back wall." I SWEAR I have never said anything to my kids about cops and donuts. The cops give me a smile and hold the door open for me and my kids.....all the while chuckling to each other about it. I was MORTIFIED.

12-04-2009, 09:00 AM	#7
christie Member How Do You Identify?: A Force with which to be reckoned Preferred Pronoun?: just be nice... Relationship Status: I call her Mine Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Transplanted to the PNW Posts: 1,246 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,552 Thanked 2,476 Times in 706 Posts Rep Power: 14753262	My son attended the same elementary school as I did. The crotchety ole Ms. Dobbins was STILL teaching - and as luck would have it, he was in her first grade class. On the first day of school, I received a call from her. "Christie, "Bratboy" might have some adjustment issues" (he is autistic). "Oh?" I asked, really not wanting to hear what could have possibly happened on the first day! "After lunch, he went to his cubby and got a blanket and a stuffed animal out of his backpack (I didnt put them there). He proceeded to find an area on the play mats and laid down. When I went over and explained that he was a big boy now and that we didnt have naps in first grade, he looked up at me and said: "Who the hell signed me up for this shit?!?!?" He is SO my son! Christie

12-04-2009, 09:06 AM	#8
Diva Timed Out How Do You Identify?: Diva Preferred Pronoun?: Diva Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Chez Diva Posts: 11,879 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 9,263 Thanked 17,174 Times in 5,239 Posts Rep Power: 0	*Oh these are GREAT, Y'all!!! Thanks!*

12-04-2009, 02:27 PM	#9
Stoney Member How Do You Identify?: Stone Butch lesbian feminist Crone Preferred Pronoun?: Wicked Witch Relationship Status: happily content Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: Michigan Posts: 135 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 112 Thanked 229 Times in 60 Posts Rep Power: 245965	Just the other day my 3 and a half year old grand Daughter got up early with me and came in and sat on my lap...she was still sleepy and was being so talkative affectionate and just plain cute... in the middle of our conversation she reached up and touched my face and said Grandma you are so pretty...I laughed and I said "oh you silly, Grandma isn't pretty".... she said "Yes you are grandma you have blue eyes like my blue eyes" .... I said "Most people don't think Grandma is pretty. Most people think grandma looks like a boy".....she thought that was hilarious! and she started laughing ... she said "you are not a boy!" and she just kept laughing .... "you are a grandma and you are pretty cause you look just like me and we are the prettiest....." I thought about how it just tickeled her so to think that people could actually think I was a boy..... cause I have always just been grandma ...... then I realized I had not been told I was pretty for more than 15 years. I just love that little angel. Stoney

12-04-2009, 07:38 PM	#12
hottprof Member How Do You Identify?: female Preferred Pronoun?: Miss to you... for hym... Relationship Status: Crashes One Femme Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: PA Posts: 335 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 180 Thanked 549 Times in 188 Posts Rep Power: 4984838	I do not have any kids at this point in my life.. but these posts really made me smile... Congrats to those of you with kids and grandkids Smiles

12-04-2009, 07:44 PM	#13
Diva Timed Out How Do You Identify?: Diva Preferred Pronoun?: Diva Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Chez Diva Posts: 11,879 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 9,263 Thanked 17,174 Times in 5,239 Posts Rep Power: 0	One Saturday morning, my then~partner let me sleep in and she got up to fix breakfast for all of us.....my youngest child, who was still in a diaper at night, marched into the kitchen, her little hands on her hips, and said, "Lynne! I'm a mess!! CHANGE MY PANTS!!!" When I want to embarrass her today, I tell that story. She gave me a lot of good material!

12-05-2009, 03:46 AM	#17
Passionaria Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Urban Bohemian : http://youtu.be/IM96Ch9Gx4A Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: She ran away with with the Gypsy's ✿ Posts: 2,519 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 5,316 Thanked 3,737 Times in 1,248 Posts Rep Power: 16689910	When my youngest daughter was maybe 5, we were grocery shopping before the holidays. And in the back of the grocery store were freezers bulging full of holiday turkeys. She looked them up and down then began to skip up and down the isle singing loudly to the tune of the show COPS: Bad turkeys, bad turkeys whatcha going to do whatcha going to do when they come for you Bad turkeys, bad turkeys whatcha going to do whatcha going to do when they come for you Everyone shopping in the back of the store stopped to chuckle.Pashi __________________ *Moon cat madness*

12-05-2009, 06:22 AM	#18
JAGG Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: Butch Preferred Pronoun?: JAGG Relationship Status: =) Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Tulsa (cat free zone) Posts: 6,093 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 18,651 Thanked 17,531 Times in 4,137 Posts Rep Power: 21474858	My MADDIE Wow I could write a novel on the things my "sunshine shadow" Maddie says. She's my extra special niece in more ways than one. She requires a little more forgiveness than most kids need . But I love her for that ! Here's a recent story since I better get going here in a sec. MY twin took her to an indoor water park a few weeks ago. She's 6 yrs old. and just became a fairly decent swimmer this summer. No floation devises needed now. But we still keep a close eye on her as she tends to have total disreguard for human life at times . lol She is fearless. My sister was waiting in the water at the bottom of a big slide for Maddie to come down , it was about 4 ft to 5 ft deep. When she hit the water instead of swimming over to the side like my twin expected her too, with her head above the water she seemed to be walking over towards my sister. Thinking the water was too deep for her, my twin was surprised. So she asked Maddie, "Oh can you touch the bottom?" Maddie said , " Yes I brought my tippy toes along."

12-08-2009, 06:12 AM	#19
Diva Timed Out How Do You Identify?: Diva Preferred Pronoun?: Diva Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Chez Diva Posts: 11,879 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 9,263 Thanked 17,174 Times in 5,239 Posts Rep Power: 0	Of course there are always the cute stories about how children ~ when learning new words ~ struggle with some. Erin had a difficult time a few letters....and she actually changed OUR vocabulary..... Because it is SO much cuter to say "glubs" than "gloves"......and "punking" rather than "pumpkin"......