The Anti-Love List

dixie · 06-20-2011, 11:29 PM

Here's a place to list the unwanted things in a potential partner... and of course, I'll go first.

Do Not Want!
- someone who will make me cry (not in the good way)
- someone who does not exist and/or is fraudulent in their existence
- someone who treats their family poorly (family is very important to me)
- someone who talks down to me
- someone who will not communicate openly with me
- someone who is demeaning to others and/or me and mine
- someone who is constantly in a bad mood
- someone with no personality
- someone with no sense of humor
- someone who is abusive (physically or verbally) to other people and/or animals
- someone who does not take me seriously as an individual
- someone who wants to change me (if you want to change me, why be with me to begin with?)
- someone who lacks passion, not only in the bedroom but in life in general
- someone rude or lacking manners, especially in public
- someone who doesn't believe me when I tell them how I feel

dixie · 06-21-2011, 01:44 AM

Oh, and someone with bad personal hygiene. That's a no-no.

pajama · 06-21-2011, 02:04 AM

Woo Hoo! Thank you Dixie.

There are some things that I don't want because of childhood issues with my aunt whom I loathe....
I don't want a hypochondriac, or really even someone who complains much about any illness or bad feelings.
I don't want someone obsessed (mildly or severely) with weather.
I don't want someone that is passive agressive. (I broke myself of that habit and don't want it in a mate.)
I don't want someone that can't live in the present.

Then there's the other stuff.
I don't want someone who doesn't have a sense of wonderlust.
I don't want an opinionated christian.
I strongly prefer a non-smoker. (Although I have been with 3 in my 20+ years of dating.)
I don't want someone who has a menagerie of animals.
I strongly (even stronger than the non-smoker) prefer someone that doesn't have children in the home. (Only dated 1 of these.)
I don't want someone who is not intelligent. (Don't confuse that with uneducated. Some of the most brilliant people I've known never even finished High School.)
I don't want someone "vanilla" in the bedroom. Well or in any part of their life, for that matter.
I don't like skinny.
I don't want someone that wants to try to change me. I can be changed on some things, but you have to plant the seed gently.

I want to interject here, that the things listed aren't bad, or carry any judgement to you or anything, just my personal preferences.

Mr Nice Guy · 06-21-2011, 04:00 AM

Well, I don't want someone who says they're gay and then after I fall in love they go straight. So if your not a real lesbian then go to hell.

girl_dee · 06-21-2011, 05:48 AM

no addictions please

no exes that you can't let go of please

no fakers or takers

apretty · 06-21-2011, 08:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ElusiveButch

Well, I don't want someone who says they're gay and then after I fall in love they go straight. So if your not a real lesbian then go to hell.

that's a bit judgmental.

T4Texas · 06-21-2011, 07:37 PM

I guess my list has grown over time and experience.

I dont want someone who gives up and wants to leave at the first sign of a problem.
Someone who is even remotely close to being bipolar
Someone who is under 30
Someone who only wants me for what they can get and not for me myself
Someone who is high maintenance
Someone who cant carry an intelligent conversation
Someone who doesnt have a job or a place to live
Someone who isnt mature regardless of the age
Someone who needs constant justification. I am an extremely supportive individual, but day in and out of buoying someone up gets old.
Someone who wont stand up for themselves
If you dont share at least a few similar interests...forget it.
Someone who knows that a relationship is not all about sex but about two people working together to make it work.
I also prefer non smokers and women without small children.
No guilt trippers or passive agressive types
No Liars
and since my life revolves around monogamy, No bi's, polys or other forms. WE dont share over here.

Please note that my choices are simply my preferences and not meant to slander or debase anyone that falls in those categories. live and let live I say.
Gawd, if I thought about this subject long enough I could probably go on forever. LOL

bigbutchmistie · 06-21-2011, 08:13 PM

Liars

Cheaters

Passive Agressive behavior

Someone without morals and values

Someone who smokes or is a drunk

Someone under 30

Someone who isn't girly. I love femme women in every sense of the word. No butch tombois completely femme

Someone who doesn't value monogamy

Someone has small kids or wants kids

Someone who doesn't believe in God

Someone who doesn't value the value of sex and intimacy in relationships.

Someone who doesn't get along with my friends

Someone who has cats as I'm highly allergic

Someone who tries to change me

Someone who can't hold intelligence conversation

Someone who uses me for what they can get

Immaturity

No job car or place of their own to live

Someone who runs at the first sign of trouble

Someone unsupportive in things I do

Someone who abuses physically and emotionally

Someone who witholds sex as a form of punishing me for mistakes made

Someone who is always late

Someone who doesn't accept my son Simon he's the cutest lil shih Tzu ever lol

Someone who is non affectionate

Someone with bad hygeine

If I think of more I will post later

Mister Bent · 06-21-2011, 08:28 PM

I'm against love, is this the right thread?

I'm really more "friendship and gratuitous sex."

bigbutchmistie · 06-21-2011, 08:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mister Bent

I'm against love, is this the right thread?

I'm really more "friendship and gratuitous sex."

LOL.

ummmmm

undone · 06-22-2011, 02:16 AM

non of these please...

One who does not like animals! Now I am not saying I want a zoo (unless I have a place big enough to be a zoo or a ranch)

One who doesn’t enjoy kids or family, I don’t have kids or ever want to be pregnant, but she should be able to get down on the floor and play, or tolerate a little family struggles here and there

One who is not capable of having a hard emotional conversation with out giving or assuming blame

One who doesn't find a way to see what it looks like from the out side in.

One who won't laugh at themselves on occasion.

One who can't help work through an issue her's, mine, ours they don’t go away they will just follow you till you figure it out.

One who will after a few years will decide that since the honey moon is over then so is the whole kit in caboodle.

One that assumes every thing said is out of a bad thought or mean space.

One who has boundary issues, emotional, family, friends, physical

One who doesn’t know how to take the lead and share it on occasion

One with out wonder, with out the urge to see, explore, new places, foods, experiences all of it!

One who puts some one else as more important than there spouse (with the exclusion of children)

One with a lot of insecurities some sure who doesn't but if a person is insecure about everything that is just to much

One who needs TVs, computer, or a some game system. If you can't live a week or two with out watching a screen, I would become way to frustrated.

One not a playful as I like to be, who can't be a little rough or tough when it's just fun

Leading to some one that isn't as strong as I am physically, emotionally, mentally.

One who thinks that sex is a ruling factor not intimacy and trust if you can keep those then sex is a natural.

One who only see's the negative side of things even most bad things have some kind of upswing to them!

One who feels the need to hover in public like I might disappear, or hook up with some one else.

Thinker · 06-22-2011, 08:29 AM

"Fun and Fluff" is different from "Cruel and Critical". So while you're having fun with this and thinking through the things you don't want, please choose your words carefully.

We can have fun without being hurtful to a group of people.

Carry on...

Thinker (moderator)

06-20-2011, 11:29 PM	#1
dixie Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: I usually just poke it with a stick. Preferred Pronoun?: Bitch Relationship Status: Intertwined deeply Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: We're all a little mad here. Posts: 6,627 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 10,972 Thanked 21,383 Times in 4,808 Posts Rep Power: 21474858	The Anti-Love List Here's a place to list the unwanted things in a potential partner... and of course, I'll go first. Do Not Want! - someone who will make me cry (not in the good way) - someone who does not exist and/or is fraudulent in their existence - someone who treats their family poorly (family is very important to me) - someone who talks down to me - someone who will not communicate openly with me - someone who is demeaning to others and/or me and mine - someone who is constantly in a bad mood - someone with no personality - someone with no sense of humor - someone who is abusive (physically or verbally) to other people and/or animals - someone who does not take me seriously as an individual - someone who wants to change me (if you want to change me, why be with me to begin with?) - someone who lacks passion, not only in the bedroom but in life in general - someone rude or lacking manners, especially in public - someone who doesn't believe me when I tell them how I feel

06-21-2011, 07:37 PM	#7
T4Texas Member How Do You Identify?: Butch Relationship Status: Ready to play again! Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: Texas Posts: 233 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 436 Thanked 647 Times in 167 Posts Rep Power: 6739721	I guess my list has grown over time and experience. I dont want someone who gives up and wants to leave at the first sign of a problem. Someone who is even remotely close to being bipolar Someone who is under 30 Someone who only wants me for what they can get and not for me myself Someone who is high maintenance Someone who cant carry an intelligent conversation Someone who doesnt have a job or a place to live Someone who isnt mature regardless of the age Someone who needs constant justification. I am an extremely supportive individual, but day in and out of buoying someone up gets old. Someone who wont stand up for themselves If you dont share at least a few similar interests...forget it. Someone who knows that a relationship is not all about sex but about two people working together to make it work. I also prefer non smokers and women without small children. No guilt trippers or passive agressive types No Liars and since my life revolves around monogamy, No bi's, polys or other forms. WE dont share over here. Please note that my choices are simply my preferences and not meant to slander or debase anyone that falls in those categories. live and let live I say. Gawd, if I thought about this subject long enough I could probably go on forever. LOL __________________ Chivalry is when you meet a woman you would rather die for, than live with.

06-21-2011, 08:28 PM	#9
Mister Bent Senior Member How Do You Identify?: . Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: . Posts: 2,905 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 4,151 Thanked 5,824 Times in 1,721 Posts Rep Power: 21474854	I'm all for anti I'm against love, is this the right thread? I'm really more "friendship and gratuitous sex." __________________ Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin to slit throats. - H. L. Mencken

06-22-2011, 08:29 AM	#12
Thinker Senior Member How Do You Identify?: transman Preferred Pronoun?: male Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Texas Posts: 1,868 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 710 Thanked 4,133 Times in 1,079 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	"Fun and Fluff" is different from "Cruel and Critical". So while you're having fun with this and thinking through the things you don't want, please choose your words carefully. We can have fun without being hurtful to a group of people. Carry on... Thinker (moderator) __________________ Practice humility and kindness.

06-21-2011, 01:44 AM	#2
dixie Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: I usually just poke it with a stick. Preferred Pronoun?: Bitch Relationship Status: Intertwined deeply Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: We're all a little mad here. Posts: 6,627 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 10,972 Thanked 21,383 Times in 4,808 Posts Rep Power: 21474858	Oh, and someone with bad personal hygiene. That's a no-no.

06-21-2011, 02:04 AM	#3
pajama Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Klingon Preferred Pronoun?: She Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Just South of Nashvegas Baby Posts: 3,115 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 7,546 Thanked 7,477 Times in 1,809 Posts Rep Power: 21474855	Woo Hoo! Thank you Dixie. There are some things that I don't want because of childhood issues with my aunt whom I loathe.... I don't want a hypochondriac, or really even someone who complains much about any illness or bad feelings. I don't want someone obsessed (mildly or severely) with weather. I don't want someone that is passive agressive. (I broke myself of that habit and don't want it in a mate.) I don't want someone that can't live in the present. Then there's the other stuff. I don't want someone who doesn't have a sense of wonderlust. I don't want an opinionated christian. I strongly prefer a non-smoker. (Although I have been with 3 in my 20+ years of dating.) I don't want someone who has a menagerie of animals. I strongly (even stronger than the non-smoker) prefer someone that doesn't have children in the home. (Only dated 1 of these.) I don't want someone who is not intelligent. (Don't confuse that with uneducated. Some of the most brilliant people I've known never even finished High School.) I don't want someone "vanilla" in the bedroom. Well or in any part of their life, for that matter. I don't like skinny. I don't want someone that wants to try to change me. I can be changed on some things, but you have to plant the seed gently. I want to interject here, that the things listed aren't bad, or carry any judgement to you or anything, just my personal preferences.

06-21-2011, 04:00 AM	#4
Mr Nice Guy Timed Out How Do You Identify?: Kind, sweet, loving, romantic and a rare Butch. :) Relationship Status: I don't drive a Uhaul. :) Join Date: May 2011 Location: Another New Englander Posts: 1,768 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,035 Thanked 4,894 Times in 1,307 Posts Rep Power: 0	Well, I don't want someone who says they're gay and then after I fall in love they go straight. So if your not a real lesbian then go to hell.

06-21-2011, 05:48 AM	#5
girl_dee Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: dee Relationship Status: Hitched up Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Livin’ the Dream Posts: 24,079 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 30,560 Thanked 54,845 Times in 13,915 Posts Rep Power: 21474873	no addictions please no exes that you can't let go of please no fakers or takers

06-21-2011, 08:13 PM	#8
bigbutchmistie Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Since You Need A Label. Butch Relationship Status: Still Dreaming Of My Happily Ever After Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Arlington Texas Posts: 4,009 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 4,950 Thanked 5,364 Times in 1,941 Posts Rep Power: 21474856	Liars Cheaters Passive Agressive behavior Someone without morals and values Someone who smokes or is a drunk Someone under 30 Someone who isn't girly. I love femme women in every sense of the word. No butch tombois completely femme Someone who doesn't value monogamy Someone has small kids or wants kids Someone who doesn't believe in God Someone who doesn't value the value of sex and intimacy in relationships. Someone who doesn't get along with my friends Someone who has cats as I'm highly allergic Someone who tries to change me Someone who can't hold intelligence conversation Someone who uses me for what they can get Immaturity No job car or place of their own to live Someone who runs at the first sign of trouble Someone unsupportive in things I do Someone who abuses physically and emotionally Someone who witholds sex as a form of punishing me for mistakes made Someone who is always late Someone who doesn't accept my son Simon he's the cutest lil shih Tzu ever lol Someone who is non affectionate Someone with bad hygeine If I think of more I will post later

06-22-2011, 02:16 AM	#11
undone Junior Member How Do You Identify?: me! Preferred Pronoun?: Woman Relationship Status: Sold! Join Date: Mar 2011 Location: Long Beach, CA but home is Portland Posts: 96 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 174 Thanked 178 Times in 63 Posts Rep Power: 507771	non of these please... One who does not like animals! Now I am not saying I want a zoo (unless I have a place big enough to be a zoo or a ranch) One who doesn’t enjoy kids or family, I don’t have kids or ever want to be pregnant, but she should be able to get down on the floor and play, or tolerate a little family struggles here and there One who is not capable of having a hard emotional conversation with out giving or assuming blame One who doesn't find a way to see what it looks like from the out side in. One who won't laugh at themselves on occasion. One who can't help work through an issue her's, mine, ours they don’t go away they will just follow you till you figure it out. One who will after a few years will decide that since the honey moon is over then so is the whole kit in caboodle. One that assumes every thing said is out of a bad thought or mean space. One who has boundary issues, emotional, family, friends, physical One who doesn’t know how to take the lead and share it on occasion One with out wonder, with out the urge to see, explore, new places, foods, experiences all of it! One who puts some one else as more important than there spouse (with the exclusion of children) One with a lot of insecurities some sure who doesn't but if a person is insecure about everything that is just to much One who needs TVs, computer, or a some game system. If you can't live a week or two with out watching a screen, I would become way to frustrated. One not a playful as I like to be, who can't be a little rough or tough when it's just fun Leading to some one that isn't as strong as I am physically, emotionally, mentally. One who thinks that sex is a ruling factor not intimacy and trust if you can keep those then sex is a natural. One who only see's the negative side of things even most bad things have some kind of upswing to them! One who feels the need to hover in public like I might disappear, or hook up with some one else.