The Maturing FtM: Topics on Aging & Wellness

[Joe Mario]

Thought this thread would be good!

How is everyone carrying on?

Please post any helpful tips, strategies, questions or concerns regarding life/financial planning, aging, health, medical care, wellness, legal issues/ laws, retirement, wills, Insurance Policies, etc. as it relates to FtM's/ Gender Queers and those who love them.

[DapperButch]

Originally Posted by Joe Mario

Thought this thread would be good!

How is everyone carrying on?

Please post any helpful tips, strategies, questions or concerns regarding life/financial planning, aging, health, medical care, wellness, legal issues/ laws, retirement, wills, Insurance Policies, etc. as it relates to FtM's/ Gender Queers and those who love them.

Hi, Joe. This is a great idea for a thread!

Something for people to remember is that if you legally change your name and/or sex, make sure all your documents/policies are updated with the changes.

[Linus]

Ah yes. Aging.. It's actually somewhat on the corner of my mind. I wonder what will happen when I get into my 70s and 80s and what kind of help/assisted living options will be available for me at that point (with the plan to build and own our own small house with some land, I'm hoping that I won't need assisted living until mid-80s, like my grandmother). I'm hoping that society might have moved a bit more supportive at that point (it has thus far at my current stage of life).

I've always double-check policies, usually around tax time and adjust beneficiaries and the like.

[DapperButch]

Originally Posted by Linus

Ah yes. Aging.. It's actually somewhat on the corner of my mind. I wonder what will happen when I get into my 70s and 80s and what kind of help/assisted living options will be available for me at that point (with the plan to build and own our own small house with some land, I'm hoping that I won't need assisted living until mid-80s, like my grandmother). I'm hoping that society might have moved a bit more supportive at that point (it has thus far at my current stage of life).

I've always double-check policies, usually around tax time and adjust beneficiaries and the like.

I am sure things will be much better in terms of dicrimination and such by then.

I wonder if Nursing homes/assisted living facilities are required to give hormonally transitioned trans* people their HRT? Some patients in those homes only see the general practitioner who is employed by that facility. I suppose that if that physician is a jerk and the patient cannot advocate for themselves/has no one else to, the physician could conceiveably take the person off hormones.

God, that is horrid to think about. I can't imagine what it is like for the person who can become suicidal when they go without treatment.

I would assume that if the person has legally changed their sex, they would have to treat them by that sex when it comes to room assignment, though.

-------------

ETA:

I am quite worried about discrimination in such a facility, as well. I have had top surgery, but I am not on hormones. I will be placed in a female room. No doubt this will be quite disturbing to many who would be taking care of me. I can see how there might be more discrimination for a true "he-she", than a person who has fully transitioned.

It was actually something I thought about more than once prior to surgery. It gave me pause for many years, actually.

Too, I even wonder how it will be when/if I go into the hospital again. Assuming I have my wits about me, it should be ok. If not, I do have a partner/mother here. I doubt my local hospital would have a problem, anyway. Any disgust they may have won't be shown to my face, I don't think.

[VictorianDenise]

The single most awful thing about aging is; loss of dignity. Documents, perceptions of the gender we present notwithstanding; If we are unable to speak, act, or react to negativity we are truly at the mercy of others as we age..THAT, bothers me allot.

[Nadeest]

Discrimination, at that point, is extremely worrisome to me, as well, especially because I have no idea whether I will have had SRS by that point, or not. At the moment, I am a preop MTF, and being forcibly taken off of hormones would be utterly horrendous to me. Nor do I know if I would be forced to live with men or not. That, also, is scary to me. I don't think that I would be able to deal with it, at all.

[Corkey]

There is a LGBT older folks housing that just opened in Philly.

[*Anya*]

I will never be able to afford to live here when I get old(er) but it is beautiful.

Maybe, as time goes on, there will be more choices, in more budget ranges.

http://fountaingrovelodge.com

[Jet]

Originally Posted by Joe Mario

Thought this thread would be good!

How is everyone carrying on?

Please post any helpful tips, strategies, questions or concerns regarding life/financial planning, aging, health, medical care, wellness, legal issues/ laws, retirement, wills, Insurance Policies, etc. as it relates to FtM's/ Gender Queers and those who love them.

Good thread. Good luck.

[DapperButch]

Originally Posted by Nadeest

Discrimination, at that point, is extremely worrisome to me, as well, especially because I have no idea whether I will have had SRS by that point, or not. At the moment, I am a preop MTF, and being forcibly taken off of hormones would be utterly horrendous to me. Nor do I know if I would be forced to live with men or not. That, also, is scary to me. I don't think that I would be able to deal with it, at all.

Hi, Nadeest. Exactly. You are the type of person I was referring to. When I was in the hospital for surgery some time ago, I was able to be in a private room. I have no idea why my insurance paid for it, but they did.

It would have been hard for me to be with a female and I was planning to pay for it out of pocket, so I did not have to room with a female/anyone. I suspect that for you, being with a male, would have been twice as hard as it would have been for me with a female, as I live my life in the gray already.

I hope (and expect), that things will continue to improve and change and that by the time you (and me/others) come to a place of needing assisted living, that discrimination will have been significantly reduced.

[julieisafemme]

Great thread. There are a number of places in California dealing with LGBT seniors.

http://gleh.org

http://openhouse-sf.org

There is also the Village movement across the country where people get together and create a supportive environment to age in.

http://www.vtvnetwork.org

None of them are exclusively LGBT. I think it is a great model though.

I worry a lot about Greyson being in a facility. Openhouse conducts trainings on LGBT cultural competentcy for hospitals and assisted living facilities. This is a great step in helping ensure we get adequate care with diginity. Our interactions with the hospital during his heart surgery were good, but not perfect. The most important thing is to be vocal! Advocate for yourself or assign an advocate for you. I was like a pit bull in the hospital so much so that Greyson had to tell me to simmer down!

I am hoping to work with seniors in my second career. I will certainly be advocating for LGBT people as a queer femme!

[Jet]

Originally Posted by julieisafemme

Great thread. There are a number of places in California dealing with LGBT seniors.

http://gleh.org

http://openhouse-sf.org

There is also the Village movement across the country where people get together and create a supportive environment to age in.

http://www.vtvnetwork.org

None of them are exclusively LGBT. I think it is a great model though.

I worry a lot about Greyson being in a facility. Openhouse conducts trainings on LGBT cultural competentcy for hospitals and assisted living facilities. This is a great step in helping ensure we get adequate care with diginity. Our interactions with the hospital during his heart surgery were good, but not perfect. The most important thing is to be vocal! Advocate for yourself or assign an advocate for you. I was like a pit bull in the hospital so much so that Greyson had to tell me to simmer down!

I am hoping to work with seniors in my second career. I will certainly be advocating for LGBT people as a queer femme!

Very nice post with great information. Tell Greyson I said hello. He's one of my favorite people.

[~baby~doll~]

i have been dealing with health issues for a number of years already. Six of us live here four upstairs and two downstairs. Three of us are senior citizens. we have gone over finances and legalities with an attorney and accountant.
All looks good until i have run into memory issues and care may be difficult. Long term care is way expensive.
The legal issues are the most important so all of your belongings and partners are protected from so rogue relative. Make sure all of the documentation is in order.
we are not certain which way the wind will blow but have tried to cover all of our bases
There are a number of LGBT facilities in the Chicago area and if that would be the case we could and would move for each other. Nice thread

[Joe Mario]

SO glad folks are finding this a useful thread! I am now over 50 and just want an

~> INDEX of RESOURCES<~

in order to get some wellness health testing (like a colonoscopy!) without a bunch of unnecessary awkwardness and drama. I'd also like to find an LGBT-friendly Notary Public for some document changes ( I have access to FREE Notaries, but for same reason as above.)

There are big, new Spa-like hi-tech medical facilities nearby to me, but no list to be found of LGBT-friendly docs. But still I am having to schlep away from where I live and go into the nearest city to the LGBT clinic.

The local LGBT resource indexes here in Philly/NJ have old, stale lists, bad links or no information listed in the category!?

WHAT, did every body MOVE??

[Joe Mario]

Originally Posted by Corkey

There is a LGBT older folks housing that just opened in Philly.

Saw that in the news recently, Corkey. Really great!

[Joe Mario]

Originally Posted by DapperButch

Hi, Joe. This is a great idea for a thread!

Something for people to remember is that if you legally change your name and/or sex, make sure all your documents/policies are updated with the changes.

Indeed, Dapper.
I was wondering if anyone had issues with Passports stating your TG name, but with the 'F' marker in the gender box(?).
I think there are probably more FtM's than MtF's who are biologically Trans GENDER, not Trans SEXUAL, so the 'F' gender marker must remain.

Also, with Insurance Policies: If the (Coroner's Exam) Death Certificate reads 'F' and ones documents, health and life Insurance Policies read 'M', do Life Insurance Policies become void? I'm sure they would try every measure to screw a beneficiary out of their payment.

[Joe Mario]

Another thing I have been pondering:

Many T/G folks have arrived into the LGBT Community from an ID/ history with the straight community.

Since (what I call) the Turn-of the-Century TransGender Surge, does anyone have stats on if the "10%" traditionally attributed to as the number of L/G/B folks in the population, has increased?



Thanks!

[Corkey]

Originally Posted by Joe Mario

SO glad folks are finding this a useful thread! I am now over 50 and just want an

~> INDEX of RESOURCES<~

in order to get some wellness health testing (like a colonoscopy!) without a bunch of unnecessary awkwardness and drama. I'd also like to find an LGBT-friendly Notary Public for some document changes ( I have access to FREE Notaries, but for same reason as above.)

There are big, new Spa-like hi-tech medical facilities nearby to me, but no list to be found of LGBT-friendly docs. But still I am having to schlep away from where I live and go into the nearest city to the LGBT clinic.

The local LGBT resource indexes here in Philly/NJ have old, stale lists, bad links or no information listed in the category!?

WHAT, did every body MOVE??

I leave that question blank. After all an ass is an ass is an ass.

[nycfem]

Hey, Corkey, this post was reported as a possibly hostile response, and I'm wondering if you could please clarify it on the thread. Thanks, Jennifer, Moderator

Originally Posted by Corkey

I leave that question blank. After all an ass is an ass is an ass.

[Corkey]

Originally Posted by nycfem

Hey, Corkey, this post was reported as a possibly hostile response, and I'm wondering if you could please clarify it on the thread. Thanks, Jennifer, Moderator

As I sent a message to Joe, in Colonoscopies I leave the gender blank as a colon is a colon is a colon. Same organ in male and females. It has nothing to do with a person, people or anyone here on the site. A metaphor, the ass.