Is revenge OK?

[Reader]

I am not trying to start a war. I think about things a lot. I have been puzzling over the concept of revenge for about a month or so and I am looking for some thoughtful input on the issue.

In a nutshell: Is revenge OK? If not, why? If so, why?

NOTE: I am not interested in a heated emotional smack-down, but rather a calm and thoughtful debate with a respectful exchange of ideas and rational analysis, if possible.

This has been on my mind of late because of a spiritual discussion I was having with someone in RL.

If anyone knows of a board that is better suited for this sort of post, please PM me. I would love to find such a board for this sort of thing.

[atomiczombie]

Originally Posted by Hunter Green

I am not trying to start a war. I think about things a lot. I have been puzzling over the concept of revenge for about a month or so and I am looking for some thoughtful input on the issue.

In a nutshell: Is revenge OK? If not, why? If so, why?

NOTE: I am not interested in a heated emotional smack-down, but rather a calm and thoughtful debate with a respectful exchange of ideas and rational analysis, if possible.

This has been on my mind of late because of a spiritual discussion I was having with someone in RL.

If anyone knows of a board that is better suited for this sort of post, please PM me. I would love to find such a board for this sort of thing.

Well there's one thing I am certain about: revenge and justice are two totally separate things.

[Diva]

When I was young, I always thought revenge would be sweet when someone had wronged me. I never acted on it, as I kept hearing my Mom's damned sweet voice in my ear.....

Now that I'm older, I find that revenge isn't necessary at all.....what goes around comes around. Every ill deed will come back to 'haunt' them in some form or fashion. And I just don't have the energy to make a plan, first of all; and second, I'm SO not giving them my power. Because if I try to get even, that's exactly what will have happened.

[Rockinonahigh]

Revenge,once I wanted to give someone a huge dose of it,I never did.I may well get mad moan and groan for a bit,but in reality its just not in my make up to get revenge on anyone.This person who wronged me got a huge dose of bad flash back karma with a big dish of humble pie wich she choked on for a year or two because when it karma bites someone one the a$$ for doing such wrong to another or group of people, getting over it isnt easy.This person thought she had quite a following in the horse training buisness that when the bottom fell out of it all that she wouldnt have any problem of just contenueing things as they were, only somewhere else,well that didnt happen not by any stretch of the imagination.Now if someone messes with my family, all bets are off because I will use every leagle means to defend my family..I dont know anyone who wouldnt defend there loved ones.

[imperfect_cupcake]

depends on the revenge, I think. The last time I was raped, I was given the opportunity to get some back by giving the dickhead a large piece of overly strong space cake I made. I had told his girlfriend what happened and she was going to dump him right away but we came up with a plan... I'd give her the cake she'd leave it in the fridge (he always ate her sweets, so he'd chow it) she'd then kick him out just before it set in. And this stuff was brain stomping. Most people couldn't tie their shoes after a piece 1/3 the size.

I thought 4 hours of stoned mental anguish and 4 hours of paralysis was better than getting someone from the docs to knee cap him so it was all set to go when my then boyfriend threw a fit about me doing it so I asked for the cake back and it never happened. Still regret I didn't do it.


If someone grabs me sexually, I will slap them/hit them, fullstop. No one ever touches me like that again without my permission - and it's time people fucking thought about what their hands are doing.

I absolutely do not believe in things like death penalties or stalking or things on those level type revenge.

[pajama]

In my younger days I would think "I wish this would happen, or that would befall this/or that bastard" for doing me wrong. But I never thought to take that revenge myself.

When I had a child, I thought what I would do if anyone ever harmed him. In that case I had revenge and an escape plan thoroughly thought out. Because ultimately it would end in someone's death. Thankfully that plan never had to be put into effect. But I would definetly have avenged my child. Even now that he is nearing adulthood, I would still take revenge on certain actions.

As to other forms of revenge, I believe in karma. While it's very hard and often frustrating to sit back and wait for it. I have to have faith that those I percieve as having done me wrong, will some day get their due. I don't turn to revenge because I feel darkened by it when I have thought it about someone. I also believe that what we put out there comes back to us ten-fold.....I can be a twisted evil fuck....I sure don't want that coming back to ME tenfold. LOL

A

[Reader]

Originally Posted by honeybarbara

depends on the revenge, I think. The last time I was raped, I was given the opportunity to get some back by giving the dickhead a large piece of overly strong space cake I made. I had told his girlfriend what happened and she was going to dump him right away but we came up with a plan... I'd give her the cake she'd leave it in the fridge (he always ate her sweets, so he'd chow it) she'd then kick him out just before it set in. And this stuff was brain stomping. Most people couldn't tie their shoes after a piece 1/3 the size.

I thought 4 hours of stoned mental anguish and 4 hours of paralysis was better than getting someone from the docs to knee cap him so it was all set to go when my then boyfriend threw a fit about me doing it so I asked for the cake back and it never happened. Still regret I didn't do it.


If someone grabs me sexually, I will slap them/hit them, fullstop. No one ever touches me like that again without my permission - and it's time people fucking thought about what their hands are doing.

I absolutely do not believe in things like death penalties or stalking or things on those level type revenge.

Sister, I apologize and am sorry for what someone did to you. I apologize as a member of the human society we live in. I am sure you know that you are not alone and I admire your strength in getting through that.

Also, I agree with you that self-defense is not at all the same as revenge. Thanks for sharing that.

[Corkey]

Revenge is a waste of emotion and time, it only brings one down to the lowest common denominator. Living the best life one can is the best way to handle those who would do you harm.

[DapperButch]

To answer the, "where should I have put this thread?" question, I would have gone with the "Thinking Harder" forum. But, I don't think anyone cares.

In terms of revenge. No, I don't think it is a good idea. Not healthy for you to hold onto the anger. That shit can tear you up inside.

[atomiczombie]

Ok I am curious: How many of you who feel revenge is a waste of time or that it's not healthy, are in favor of the death penalty?

[Linus]

Originally Posted by Hunter Green

I am not trying to start a war. I think about things a lot. I have been puzzling over the concept of revenge for about a month or so and I am looking for some thoughtful input on the issue.

In a nutshell: Is revenge OK? If not, why? If so, why?

NOTE: I am not interested in a heated emotional smack-down, but rather a calm and thoughtful debate with a respectful exchange of ideas and rational analysis, if possible.

This has been on my mind of late because of a spiritual discussion I was having with someone in RL.

If anyone knows of a board that is better suited for this sort of post, please PM me. I would love to find such a board for this sort of thing.

To me revenge ends being an extreme response to something and one that generally bounces back against someone. While in the heat of the moment, the act and result may be desirable the long term is, to me, more destructive and more harmful.

When my mom was killed in 1992, I thought that revenge might be a nice option (amongst other negative thoughts) but rather than that, revenge of living my own life to fullest and striving beyond what was expected of me (that is, striving for my own success rather than someone else's demise) proved to be both beneficial for soul and my own sense of justice. So to me revenge against someone (an action or word against them) really isn't ever a good idea.

Revenge by being successful and rising above a battle, to me, however, is a perfect response.

[msW8ing]

*snipped*

Originally Posted by Linus

Revenge by being successful and rising above a battle, to me, however, is a perfect response.

Very well said Linus and I so agree with you and with Diva when she stated NOT giving them the power. Revenge in any form takes alot of energy..whether we feel it's the right thing to do..and eye for and eye and a tooth for a tooth kind of thing..but that is raw emotions..me personally I believe it takes a lot more strength and courage to NOT act upon those raw emotions..but rather to live a full/happy, loving life and let Kharma do it's job..because eventually what comes around goes around. I've witnessed that for myself. Just today as a matter of fact..my faith in Kharma and the Universe was restored.

[JAGG]

I believe in universal law. What goes around comes around. Therefore revenge will only cause something negative to occur in your life. I believe universal law can not be thwarted. Therefore no need to wish something bad on someone else. The universe with all its resourses, will exact its punishment. Every action strikes a cord in eternity. Yours and theirs. My motto is kill them with kindness. Forgive those who have offended you, and when you offend, then you will be forgiven. Just my 2 cents worth.

[girl_dee]

Is casting a spell..... say a skin burning rash spell in the armpit (and other areas) of a certain immigration officer an act of revenge?

A wise person once told me: Living well is the best revenge.

[JAGG]

Success is the best revenge!

[PinkieLee]

My mother always said.... "the best revenge, is a life well spent"

[Glenn]

Never has the world needed love and forgiveness so much as now. But I also must uphold the ideals of my beloved country and family. If an aggressor ever came here to destroy my family or this country and America needed my help to defend her and retaliate, I would give it- for the love of the people, and to defend the nation on whose land I live. We should do our part to help protect America if you live here, and all those we love in our homes, but at the same time, we must not allow ourselves to be filled with revenge and hatred. A defense plan is good right now, but it will not bring ultimate peace.

[Nat]

Originally Posted by Hunter Green

In a nutshell: Is revenge OK? If not, why? If so, why?

I'm not sure what "ok" is.

I tend to think revenge and/or retaliation involves natural instinct. Maybe it does serve some sort of purpose for our animal selves.

But when you look at the forest instead of the trees, revenge just makes things worse. i think revenge may harm the person who has hurt you, but it also hurts/damages you.

An exercise I recently heard of for dealing with the times one's been hurt, is to take that hurt and think about whether you've ever hurt a person in a similar way. Sometimes the answer is no, but I think it's a good exercise. When people do bad stuff, it's on them. Karma or not, it's on them. I think the best a person can do is to take responsibility for healing any wounds created to the best of our ability so that we don't end up hurting others due to our on wounds.

I think it's true what I heard on a recent Zen podcast: Hurt people hurt people and healed people heal people. So focusing on healing is, I believe, far more beneficial to oneself and society than getting back at somebody else.

Sometimes easier said then done - I'm afraid I've been spiteful far too many times in my life due to a pereived wrong.

[Reader]

Originally Posted by Nat

I'm not sure what "ok" is.

I tend to think revenge and/or retaliation involves natural instinct. Maybe it does serve some sort of purpose for our animal selves.

But when you look at the forest instead of the trees, revenge just makes things worse. i think revenge may harm the person who has hurt you, but it also hurts/damages you.

An exercise I recently heard of for dealing with the times one's been hurt, is to take that hurt and think about whether you've ever hurt a person in a similar way. Sometimes the answer is no, but I think it's a good exercise. When people do bad stuff, it's on them. Karma or not, it's on them. I think the best a person can do is to take responsibility for healing any wounds created to the best of our ability so that we don't end up hurting others due to our on wounds.

I think it's true what I heard on a recent Zen podcast: Hurt people hurt people and healed people heal people. So focusing on healing is, I believe, far more beneficial to oneself and society than getting back at somebody else.

Sometimes easier said then done - I'm afraid I've been spiteful far too many times in my life due to a pereived wrong.

In a word: SUPERB. Thank you for your thoughtful post.