How do you know someone is..

[Linus]

femme or butch? And be honest about this. How often do you look at someone and "Oh ya! They are.. <insert gender ID here>"? I have to admit it that I've done it. Recently, in a class I taught, I got the distinct feeling that one of the few female students I had was a butch (e.g., clothing, demeanor, visiting gay sites) but I never asked her to find out (not appropriate for the class).

[ravfem]

When i'm out in public, i look for butches, and do make assumptions based on looks, clothing, demeanor, etc

[JustJo]

I live in central New York...and the majority of the straight women in my age group look butch...

And I, even at the only gay coffee house in town, evidently look straight....or am invisible....I can't decide which....

I'm just thankful I found Scoote....cuz now it doesn't matter

[SuperFemme]

Are we talking about basic gaydar? Or something deeper?

[JustBeingMe]

Sometimes my gaydar goes off and sometimes it don't.

[Linus]

Originally Posted by SuperFemme

Are we talking about basic gaydar? Or something deeper?

Basic gaydar.

[SuperFemme]

Originally Posted by Linus

Basic gaydar.

Maybe I *do* have some kind of subconscious internal process when my gaydar is going off. I don't think outloud butch or femme, but you might be onto something here.

I need to think about it.

[waxnrope]

my gaydar seems to only bear any accuracy when spotting gay men. I used to find dates for some of my gay men friends ... sigh.
So, my gaydar re femmes or butches, sucks ... most of the time.

[Chancie]

Originally Posted by Linus, who likes a nice cigar

Basic gaydar.

Ah, I thought you meant based on looks alone.

For me, gaydar goes beyond superficial appearance.

[BornBronson]

Never judge a book by its cover..my mama taught me that.

[Lynn]

Originally Posted by BornBronson

Never judge a book by its cover..my mama taught me that.

Good advice from your mama. There is judging, though, and there is that kind of visceral response which isn't really a thought process; it's more of a feeling. When thinking becomes involved, though, it gets a lot less messy!

[Andrew, Jr.]

I try not to judge other people (thanks BB). For me it is gaydar, talking, eye contact, outfits, jewelry, makeup, and implied sayings during conversations. I also note that if I am smoking a cigar and wearing a tie, it means something different than when a queer femme smokes a cigar. It is so different.

Just my 2 cents worth.

[Blade]

I'm a 2x4, so for me in real time if a lady is femme she'd have to hit me over the head, for me to go "oh now there's a femme".

Not so in the butch department LOL
I find myself judging masculine looking females as "must be butch all the time" I guess because I see a reflection of myself, but for me I wonder if they are butch or TG.

I was talking to a friend the other day and there was someone she thought was butch, and said person had invited her to a rodeo, not like together just like why don't ya come over to the rodeo. When said femme got to the rodeo she found out that the person she thought was butch was in fact not.

I stopped to get gas yesterday and this person with 1/64th inch haircut and those baggie shorts that come to ya shins that 3 people can fit in, with a cap turned around backward, yeah I assumed she was butch, but ya never know.

[Converse]

Originally Posted by Blade

I'm a 2x4, so for me in real time if a lady is femme she'd have to hit me over the head, for me to go "oh now there's a femme".

Not so in the butch department LOL
I find myself judging masculine looking females as "must be butch all the time" I guess because I see a reflection of myself, but for me I wonder if they are butch or TG.

I was talking to a friend the other day and there was someone she thought was butch, and said person had invited her to a rodeo, not like together just like why don't ya come over to the rodeo. When said femme got to the rodeo she found out that the person she thought was butch was in fact not.

I stopped to get gas yesterday and this person with 1/64th inch haircut and those baggie shorts that come to ya shins that 3 people can fit in, with a cap turned around backward, yeah I assumed she was butch, but ya never know.

Oh I’m the opposite. It’s very rare that I assume “Butch” by sight, it usually takes conversation- and quite a bit before I make any connection. Where as “femme”, I seem to instantly recognize anywhere- alone, with children, and even a couple of times when they have been with men. On those occasions I assume- he is her brother, friend- or she just hasn’t worked it out yet. But general gaydar- no, I don’t have it- a lesbian or gay guy, closeted or flaming, I’m always the last one to know.

[Bad_boi]

The way people look and act can be a hint. This is not certain but sometimes it helps. What does it matter whether they are butch or femme or (insert identity) people are people.

The only true way is to ask them.

[GoofyLuvr]

Let's just say I've learned the hard way not to assume anything! LOL

[Curley]

It's been said in here it often depends where on lives and their community I live and worked in a very gay environment my gaydar is usually spot on but on the flip side when I'm in a different city My gaydar is often way off ie assuming everyone is gay.....lol.[

[Jet]

Originally Posted by Linus

(e.g., clothing, demeanor, visiting gay sites)

They way they present.