Bumper Stickers.....

TexasCowboi · 06-04-2010, 05:24 AM

ACTUAL BUMPER STICKERS FOUND ON CARS!
>
>1. Constipated People Don't Give A Shit.
>
>2. Practice Safe Sex, Go Screw Yourself.
>
>3. If You Drink, Don't Park, Accidents Cause People.
>
>4. *removed for fear of accidentally offending someone*
>
>5. If You Don't Believe In Oral Sex, Keep Your Mouth
Shut.
>
>6. Please Tell Your Pants Its Not Polite To Point.
>
>7. If That Phone Was Up Your Butt, Maybe You Could
Drive
> A Little Better. *
>
>8. My Kid Got Your Honor Roll Student Pregnant.
>
>9. Thank You For Pot Smoking.
>
>10. To All You Virgins: Thanks For Nothing.
>
>11. If At First You Don't Succeed...Blame Someone
Else
> And Seek Counseling.
>
>12. Impotence: Nature's Way Of Saying "No Hard
Feelings."
>
>13. If You Can Read This, I've Lost My Trailer.
>
>14. Horn Broken... Watch For Finger.
>
>15. It's Not How You Pick Your Nose, But Where You
Put
> The Booger.
>
>16. If You're Not A Hemorrhoid, Get Off My Ass.
>
>17. You're Just Jealous Because The Voices Are
Talking
> To Me
>
>18. The Earth Is Full - Go Home
>
>19. I Have The Body Of A God... Buddha
>
>20. This Would Be Really Funny If It Weren't
Happening To Me
>
>21. So Many Pedestrians - So Little Time
>
>22. Cleverly Disguised As A Responsible Adult
>
>23. If We Quit Voting Will They All Go Away?
>
>24. The Face Is Familiar But I Can't Quite Remember
My Name
>
>25. Eat Right, Exercise, Die Anyway
>
>26. Illiterate? Write For Help
>
>27. Honk If Anything Falls Off
>
>28. Cover Me I'm Changing Lanes
>
>29. He Who Hesitates Is Not Only Lost But Miles From
The Next Exit
>
>30. I Refuse To Have A Battle Of Wits With An Unarmed
Person
>
>31. Hey You! Out Of The Gene Pool!
>
>32. I Do Whatever My Rice Krispies Tell Me To
>
>33. Where Are We Going And Why Am I In This
Handbasket?
>
>34. It's Been Lovely But I Have To Scream Now
>
>35. I Haven't Lost My Mind, It's Backed Up On Disk
Somewhere
>
>36. *this one was removed for fear of offending someone*
>
>37. If Sex Is A Pain In The Ass, Then You're Doing It
Wrong...
>
>38. Fight Crime: Shoot Back!
>
>39. If You Can Read This, Please Flip Me Back
Over...[seen
> upside down, on a Jeep]
>
>40. Remember Folks: Stop Lights Timed For 35mph Are
Also
> Timed for 70mph.
>
>41. Guys: No Shirt, No Service. Gals: No Shirt, No
Charge
> [seen in a restaurant]
>
>42. *also removed for fear of offending someone*
>
>43. Necrophillia: That Uncontrollable Urge To Crack
Open
> A Cold One.
>
>44. Ax Me About Ebonics
>
>45. Body By Nautilus; Brain By Mattel
>
>46. Boldly Going Nowhere
>
>47. Cat: The Other White Meat
>
>48. Caution - Driver Legally Blonde!
>
>49. Don't Be Sexist - Broads Hate That
>
>50. Heart Attacks... God's Revenge For Eating His
Animal Friends
>
>51. Honk If You've Never Seen An Uzi Fired >From A
Car Window
>
> 52. How Many Roads Must A Man Travel Down Before He
> Admits He Is Lost?
>
> 53. If You Can't Dazzle Them With Brilliance, Riddle
> Them With Bullets.
>
>54. Money Isn't Everything, But It Sure Keeps The
Kids In Touch
>
>55. Saw It... Wanted It... Had A Fit... Got It!
>

chefhottie25 · 06-04-2010, 09:42 PM

one of my college roommate had the best bumper sticker on her car.....
"God is coming...and she is pissed"

Dante · 06-04-2010, 09:46 PM

Don't you just love (NOT) those stupid signs that read...."my kid is an honor student at such and such school. ????!!!!! "

TexasCowboi · 06-04-2010, 10:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dante

Don't you just love (NOT) those stupid signs that read...."my kid is an honor student at such and such school. ????!!!!! "

Yeah.... and if I had kiddos.... my bumper sticker would read "My kid beat up your honor student"

*chuckles*

Glenn · 06-04-2010, 10:53 PM

I just made this one up- This Truck Is My Soulmate

Arwen · 06-04-2010, 11:11 PM

"When it absolutely, positively has to be destroyed overnight--the U.S Marines."

jenny · 09-28-2010, 07:33 AM

Saw this one on a SmartCar last night...

*harmful if swallowed

HAHAHAHA!

Ms. Tabitha · 09-28-2010, 08:05 AM

Im-Only-Speeding-Cause-I-Really-Have-To-Poop

Like what you see? Dial 1-800-YOU-WISH

How's my driving 1-800-BITE-ME

Uncle Sam Wants You To Speak English

Take Revenge - Shit On A Pigeon

I'd smack you but shit splatters

I'm not a tease, I'm just a reminder of what you can't have

Save a cow--eat a vegetarian

I kiss boys that used to be girls

Lord, help me to be the person my cat thinks I am.

Facisim: concentrated private control of wealth, control of information, massive investment/manufacture of arms and military equipment, suppression of labor movements... sound familiar?

That cell phone would look better sticking out of your Ass

I'm only driving like this to piss you off

Work harder millions on welfare dependon you

Your kid might be an honor student but your still an idiot

I'm not driving fast-just flying low.

Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?

BAD COP! - NO DONUT

PETA - People Eating Tasty Animals

My podcast beat up your blog

My carbon footprint is bigger than yours

The Ass Family:
Smart
Dumb
Lazy
Wise
Kiss

MaggieBluIze · 09-28-2010, 08:40 AM

Getting this one created ... Not as clever as the rest, but is accurate.

It will have an <--- pointing to dent in bumper and will say "My 16 y/o Daughter Was Here".

chefhmboyrd · 09-28-2010, 08:47 AM

I'm not tailgatin', I'm Draftin'

06-04-2010, 05:24 AM	#1
TexasCowboi Member How Do You Identify?: TGStoneButch Relationship Status: Married....'nuff said Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Texas Posts: 181 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 178 Thanked 502 Times in 128 Posts Rep Power: 4791449	Bumper Stickers..... ACTUAL BUMPER STICKERS FOUND ON CARS! > >1. Constipated People Don't Give A Shit. > >2. Practice Safe Sex, Go Screw Yourself. > >3. If You Drink, Don't Park, Accidents Cause People. > >4. removed for fear of accidentally offending someone > >5. If You Don't Believe In Oral Sex, Keep Your Mouth Shut. > >6. Please Tell Your Pants Its Not Polite To Point. > >7. If That Phone Was Up Your Butt, Maybe You Could Drive > A Little Better. * > >8. My Kid Got Your Honor Roll Student Pregnant. > >9. Thank You For Pot Smoking. > >10. To All You Virgins: Thanks For Nothing. > >11. If At First You Don't Succeed...Blame Someone Else > And Seek Counseling. > >12. Impotence: Nature's Way Of Saying "No Hard Feelings." > >13. If You Can Read This, I've Lost My Trailer. > >14. Horn Broken... Watch For Finger. > >15. It's Not How You Pick Your Nose, But Where You Put > The Booger. > >16. If You're Not A Hemorrhoid, Get Off My Ass. > >17. You're Just Jealous Because The Voices Are Talking > To Me > >18. The Earth Is Full - Go Home > >19. I Have The Body Of A God... Buddha > >20. This Would Be Really Funny If It Weren't Happening To Me > >21. So Many Pedestrians - So Little Time > >22. Cleverly Disguised As A Responsible Adult > >23. If We Quit Voting Will They All Go Away? > >24. The Face Is Familiar But I Can't Quite Remember My Name > >25. Eat Right, Exercise, Die Anyway > >26. Illiterate? Write For Help > >27. Honk If Anything Falls Off > >28. Cover Me I'm Changing Lanes > >29. He Who Hesitates Is Not Only Lost But Miles From The Next Exit > >30. I Refuse To Have A Battle Of Wits With An Unarmed Person > >31. Hey You! Out Of The Gene Pool! > >32. I Do Whatever My Rice Krispies Tell Me To > >33. Where Are We Going And Why Am I In This Handbasket? > >34. It's Been Lovely But I Have To Scream Now > >35. I Haven't Lost My Mind, It's Backed Up On Disk Somewhere > >36. this one was removed for fear of offending someone > >37. If Sex Is A Pain In The Ass, Then You're Doing It Wrong... > >38. Fight Crime: Shoot Back! > >39. If You Can Read This, Please Flip Me Back Over...[seen > upside down, on a Jeep] > >40. Remember Folks: Stop Lights Timed For 35mph Are Also > Timed for 70mph. > >41. Guys: No Shirt, No Service. Gals: No Shirt, No Charge > [seen in a restaurant] > >42. also removed for fear of offending someone > >43. Necrophillia: That Uncontrollable Urge To Crack Open > A Cold One. > >44. Ax Me About Ebonics > >45. Body By Nautilus; Brain By Mattel > >46. Boldly Going Nowhere > >47. Cat: The Other White Meat > >48. Caution - Driver Legally Blonde! > >49. Don't Be Sexist - Broads Hate That > >50. Heart Attacks... God's Revenge For Eating His Animal Friends > >51. Honk If You've Never Seen An Uzi Fired >From A Car Window > > 52. How Many Roads Must A Man Travel Down Before He > Admits He Is Lost? > > 53. If You Can't Dazzle Them With Brilliance, Riddle > Them With Bullets. > >54. Money Isn't Everything, But It Sure Keeps The Kids In Touch > >55. Saw It... Wanted It... Had A Fit... Got It! >

06-04-2010, 09:46 PM	#3
Dante Member How Do You Identify?: Stone Butch Top Preferred Pronoun?: Hym Relationship Status: Single Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: So. Calif. Posts: 419 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,248 Thanked 496 Times in 206 Posts Rep Power: 3481782	Don't you just love (NOT) those stupid signs that read...."my kid is an honor student at such and such school. ????!!!!! " __________________ Goooooooo LAKERS !!!!!!

06-04-2010, 10:53 PM	#5
Glenn Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Dear ol butch bones. Preferred Pronoun?: Old G Relationship Status: Too old to play. Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: :rolleyes: Posts: 1,547 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,601 Thanked 3,729 Times in 1,095 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	I just made this one up- This Truck Is My Soulmate __________________ 1 Kings 19:12

06-04-2010, 11:11 PM	#6
Arwen Joy Seeker How Do You Identify?: Smartly-Flavored Preferred Pronoun?: Goddess Relationship Status: Mrs. Syzygy 1/9/14 Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: Joyville, NM (aka Land of Enchantment) Posts: 10,140 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 13,636 Thanked 28,119 Times in 6,414 Posts Rep Power: 21474862	"When it absolutely, positively has to be destroyed overnight--the U.S Marines." __________________ I wrote a book, y'all! *FREE* Tarotscopes Seek Joy, y'all. Eschew hate. 9Words: A Poetry Challenge \| Do you like me?

09-28-2010, 07:33 AM	#7
jenny Member How Do You Identify?: queer femme Relationship Status: inquire within Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: NJ Posts: 956 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 434 Thanked 1,593 Times in 580 Posts Rep Power: 5091118	Saw this one on a SmartCar last night... harmful if swallowed HAHAHAHA! __________________ "How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world." ~ Anne Frank* “Life's most persistent and urgent question is: 'What are you doing for others?'” ~ Martin Luther King, Jr.

06-04-2010, 09:42 PM	#2
chefhottie25 Member How Do You Identify?: boi Preferred Pronoun?: hy Relationship Status: happily taken Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: ohio Posts: 1,406 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 26 Thanked 889 Times in 478 Posts Rep Power: 1175217	one of my college roommate had the best bumper sticker on her car..... "God is coming...and she is pissed"

09-28-2010, 08:05 AM	#8
Ms. Tabitha Member How Do You Identify?: Hey Lady Preferred Pronoun?: Female Relationship Status: Married ~ 4-1-13 Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Central Texas Posts: 1,440 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 980 Thanked 3,581 Times in 1,040 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	Im-Only-Speeding-Cause-I-Really-Have-To-Poop Like what you see? Dial 1-800-YOU-WISH How's my driving 1-800-BITE-ME Uncle Sam Wants You To Speak English Take Revenge - Shit On A Pigeon I'd smack you but shit splatters I'm not a tease, I'm just a reminder of what you can't have Save a cow--eat a vegetarian I kiss boys that used to be girls Lord, help me to be the person my cat thinks I am. Facisim: concentrated private control of wealth, control of information, massive investment/manufacture of arms and military equipment, suppression of labor movements... sound familiar? That cell phone would look better sticking out of your Ass I'm only driving like this to piss you off Work harder millions on welfare dependon you Your kid might be an honor student but your still an idiot I'm not driving fast-just flying low. Why do psychics have to ask you for your name? BAD COP! - NO DONUT PETA - People Eating Tasty Animals My podcast beat up your blog My carbon footprint is bigger than yours The Ass Family: Smart Dumb Lazy Wise Kiss

09-28-2010, 08:40 AM	#9
MaggieBluIze Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Feisty Kick Butt Bratty Babygirl Femme LOL Preferred Pronoun?: Something Sweet Please =) Relationship Status: My rainbow bubble holds love, happiness and life with my sweet Husbutch Daddy Bass! Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: Austin TX Baby!!! Posts: 2,154 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 4,912 Thanked 5,385 Times in 1,504 Posts Rep Power: 21474854	Getting this one created ... Not as clever as the rest, but is accurate. It will have an <--- pointing to dent in bumper and will say "My 16 y/o Daughter Was Here". __________________ s her sweet Daddy Bass ~~http://i11.photobucket.com/albums/a1...ion/maggie.jpg

09-28-2010, 08:47 AM	#10
chefhmboyrd Senior Member How Do You Identify?: man Preferred Pronoun?: beef Relationship Status: Uncle Daddy Snap Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: nashvegas Posts: 1,607 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,411 Thanked 2,846 Times in 898 Posts Rep Power: 14271905	I'm not tailgatin', I'm Draftin' __________________ what's a cowboy got to do to get a drink around here?