Butch friends

[Merlin]

I have more femme friends than butch.

I have only one butch friend I refer to as brother as we are quite close.

Do you have more butch friends than femmes ?

Some butches on other forums try to be cock of the hen house and it puts me off befriending them.

[Daywalker]

Well Merlin, in following some of the threads U have started,
it would seem you have been thru some shit.


One of my Bruthas...is a Femme. (love U Snowy One) It's just not as simple as
one or the other at times. One of my oldest and dearest friends is now a
Female; transitioned after the age of 50. We still cut up like we did 25 years
ago. I love Kari (used to be Bob) and I love who she is. Her Gender never
swayed me from being attracted to her as a life long friend.

I get it though, some who Identify as Butch get a little stoopid when
they arrive in the Company of someone they perceive as 'more butch'
than themselves. Or the likes of myself, presenting with Domme
energy...seems to have triggered a few Masculine Identified
folks to get...stoopid and start acting like their Machismo just
got dented. That's a perception that belongs to them, their
reactions belong to us.


Filtering friends by Butch n Femme?
I can't say that this is something that I do on a conscious level.

I am sitting here trying to scale the numbers,
if one is much more than the other.


It is not, for me.

Looking forward to reading this one.

[Merlin]

Daywalker,having read butches/transguys/femmes harrowing life stories I assure you compared to those my life has been good.

No disrespect meant to anyone,just a general observation.

Offers hand of friendship.

[Luv]

I have more femme friends than butch friends. I have 3-4 butchs that I call brother and 3 femmes I call sis..love them all !

[Corkey]

Originally Posted by Merlin

I have more femme friends than butch.

I have only one butch friend I refer to as brother as we are quite close.

Do you have more butch friends than femmes ?

Some butches on other forums try to be cock of the hen house and it puts me off befriending them.

I just have friends, and the cock in a hen house stuff you mentioned, is usually a ton of insecurity tied up in a not so tidy package. I tend to ignore that kind of behavior. Because confronting it just reinforces the behavior.

[AtLast]

Maybe I just don't separate friendship between butch, femme, trans, het, etc. I also am not quick to consider someone as a friend- that really is a special designation to me.

I do socialize with a mix of people and I like this. I want to see people not as a gender or identity, but as people that might just be interesting to me and could become a friend. I love having the few close friends I have over for dinner or to watch something airing or taking in a movie, having coffee.

I wish my oldest and dearest friend (that is a non-B-F lesbian) lived closer.

[Ebon]

Originally Posted by Merlin

I have more femme friends than butch.

I have only one butch friend I refer to as brother as we are quite close.

Do you have more butch friends than femmes ?

Some butches on other forums try to be cock of the hen house and it puts me off befriending them.

Yeah that behavior puts me off too. My best friend is femme though. She's also my lady. I have guys that I consider brothers. I don't see much of that cock in the hen house stuff going on here and if it does it gets called out pretty quickly.

[Merlin]

I'd like to share a smoke with some butches and get down to the nitty gritty.

[scootebaby]

i must first say that my words dont always come out right so PLEASE IF something i type offends or puts someone off DO NOT ASSUME the worst--ask for clarification....

I have NEVER had good luck with having butch friends--or femmes for that matter...most butches i have come across have had that need for a "pissing contest" or sneaking behind my back and trying to steal my girl....most femmes usually wanna piss off their partners by being my "friend"...now thats not to say ive had NO friends--i consider Day a friend tho we have only met once as i do Luv...more so than most ppl i see on a regular basis...most of my life i have had "str8" friends....even now i dont really have in real time lesbian friends--one or 2 tops

[DapperButch]

I actually have no in real life butch friends. I really only see feminine or androgynous like lesbians around here. My gf came home the other day shocked and excited that she saw a masculine appearing female in the convenience store. She lived here for 7 years single (after moving here) until we got together saying she just was not able to find a single butch in these parts! (hmmm..maybe she is with me b/c I am the only butch in town?)

Anyway, I do have one femme friend in real life, but that is it. She actually now defines as bisexual and has only dated XY males the last couple of years.

Strangely, I have found myself becoming connected to and hanging out with a bunch of heterosexual, heteronomative women at work. Not narrow in the way they think or the ideas that they are open too, they just have not been exposed to much outside of the "norm". They are also quite a bit older than me, as well.

We were talking about it on friday night when we went out for dinner. I think it is a function of how great of friends they were to me when I was going through the cancer surgery chemo and stuff.

But, I am getting off topic. I would like nothing more than to have a butch friend IRL.

[Merlin]

I find when I have femme friends I end up sleeping with them. I have more hetro friends,maybe subconciously I surround myself with them to play it safe.

[Daywalker]

Originally Posted by scootebaby

i must first say that my words dont always come out right so PLEASE IF something i type offends or puts someone off DO NOT ASSUME the worst--ask for clarification....

I have NEVER had good luck with having butch friends--or femmes for that matter...most butches i have come across have had that need for a "pissing contest" or sneaking behind my back and trying to steal my girl....most femmes usually wanna piss off their partners by being my "friend"...now thats not to say ive had NO friends--i consider Day a friend tho we have only met once as i do Luv...more so than most ppl i see on a regular basis...most of my life i have had "str8" friends....even now i dont really have in real time lesbian friends--one or 2 tops

Oh, by the way ~ here's that photo of
you n Tyler when you visited us in the TN.



And I consider U a friend also.


No Machismo was injured during the Batcave gathering!
Well, lol...'cept maybe Kye, but that's another Topic all together.


Demeanor and overall disposition is felt like energy.
Relaxed and content vs Boisterous and belligerent
I haz a Groovy Energy Meter
Some folks set it off.


Some folks, not so much.

[scootebaby]

awww look at my lil boy..he is taller than me now and so skinny...im older,uglier and heavier---think Jo and her cooking has something to do with that--the weight that is As i told u in rep Day..he still remembers u..thought u were really cool...that was a good day!

[deb_U_taunt]

In my 20s it was andro lesbians.
In my 30s it was mostly butch and trans friends.
Now in my 40s, most of my friends are straight.

[Luv]

Originally Posted by scootebaby

awww look at my lil boy..he is taller than me now and so skinny...im older,uglier and heavier---think Jo and her cooking has something to do with that--the weight that is As i told u in rep Day..he still remembers u..thought u were really cool...that was a good day!

Dang he has gotten big !

[scootebaby]

Originally Posted by June

I have not experienced this weirdness some of you are talking about with friends trying to take "My Butch" or me trying to take "My friends Butch" or anything else for that matter. Sometimes I think there must be some parallel universe where some folks live that they run into these conniving, back stabbing partner thieves.

And also, if a partner can be stolen, were they ever really yours, and why would you want them anyway if they can be lured away that easily?

I never understood this part.

i hear what your saying June and i totally agree...perhaps that why i never experienced a lot of the other things i have seen posted on here--i.e snide remarks,looks,the ugliness of stupid ppl etc---i was too busy attracting people like this in my life to deal with real issues....im so glad i finally grew up

[Stud_puppy1991]

Originally Posted by Merlin

I have more femme friends than butch.

I have only one butch friend I refer to as brother as we are quite close.

Do you have more butch friends than femmes ?

Some butches on other forums try to be cock of the hen house and it puts me off befriending them.

I have a mixture of both, but i do have a lot of butch friends. Most of mine are womanizers. and, then some try to wear the pants in the relationship. i have one butch friend that is doing basic in the Navy. other than that, most of the others are femmes, not that i mind.

[apretty]

Originally Posted by Merlin

Some butches on other forums try to be cock of the hen house and it puts me off befriending them.

I know what you mean--I think we all know you're speaking of EZ: He is quite the cock of the hen house.

*I love to insert 'cock' as often as possible and I found this post opportune.

[Merlin]

^ not sure I know what you mean ? Lol ..

[princessbelle]

Over the years, i've always had way more butch friends than femme ones.

However in the past 6 months or so, I have been achieving something i wanted for a long time, which was some real close femme relationships.

Friends are good to have no matter how they ID. A true friend is someone that don't just walk into your life needing or wanting and then disappear on you. Even if you sleep with them, IMO. They stay, no matter what....butch or femme, male or female, no matter what the ID....a true friend is a magical gift that i value and respect and know that i'm damn lucky to have these people in my life.

Rock on.