Butch Femme Planet  

Go Back   Butch Femme Planet > FUN > The Fluffy Stuff: Flirting, Humor, Chat

Notices

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 09-16-2011, 10:03 PM   #1
SoNotHer
Senior Member

How Do You Identify?:
Professional Sandbagger and Jenga Zumba Instructor
 

Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: In the master control room of my world domination dreams
Posts: 2,811
Thanks: 6,587
Thanked 4,736 Times in 1,409 Posts
Rep Power: 21474851
SoNotHer Has the BEST ReputationSoNotHer Has the BEST ReputationSoNotHer Has the BEST ReputationSoNotHer Has the BEST ReputationSoNotHer Has the BEST ReputationSoNotHer Has the BEST ReputationSoNotHer Has the BEST ReputationSoNotHer Has the BEST ReputationSoNotHer Has the BEST ReputationSoNotHer Has the BEST ReputationSoNotHer Has the BEST Reputation
Default Bad Bar Lines and "Bodice Rippers"

A friend recently forwarded one of the funniest things I've read in some time: The Evil Librarian Supervillian's dissection of "21 of the most ridiculous romance novels ever." An excerpt and link to the article are below.

So I'm wondering what you remember as a) the worst romance you (or an anonymous "friend") ever read or b) the worst pickup line/s you've ever heard. Looking forward to what you write. ;-)

http://evillibrariansupervillain.wor...e-novels-ever/

"This is a classic of the terrible smut genre. Magnus Ericsson and his ten children by various wenches...have accidentally time travelled from their Viking village into modern-day Hollywood. Magnus immediately falls for a winemaker named Angela and they hunker down in some bed furs for some good ol’ viking ploughing."
__________________
"In the depth of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer." ~ Albert Camus
SoNotHer is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 7 Users Say Thank You to SoNotHer For This Useful Post:
Old 09-17-2011, 10:40 AM   #2
Elijah
Member

How Do You Identify?:
Genderqueer Butch
Preferred Pronoun?:
Masculine ones
Relationship Status:
Open to healthy possibilities...
 
Elijah's Avatar
 

Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Michigan
Posts: 554
Thanks: 738
Thanked 1,629 Times in 393 Posts
Rep Power: 21474851
Elijah Has the BEST ReputationElijah Has the BEST ReputationElijah Has the BEST ReputationElijah Has the BEST ReputationElijah Has the BEST ReputationElijah Has the BEST ReputationElijah Has the BEST ReputationElijah Has the BEST ReputationElijah Has the BEST ReputationElijah Has the BEST ReputationElijah Has the BEST Reputation
Default

My face is leaving in ten minutes, be on it.
__________________
"There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness but of power. They are messengers of overwhelming grief and of unspeakable love."

~Washington Irving
Elijah is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 11 Users Say Thank You to Elijah For This Useful Post:
Old 09-17-2011, 12:50 PM   #3
deb_U_taunt
Senior Member

How Do You Identify?:
........
 

Join Date: May 2011
Location: .......
Posts: 1,748
Thanks: 5,324
Thanked 5,256 Times in 1,361 Posts
Rep Power: 21474852
deb_U_taunt Has the BEST Reputationdeb_U_taunt Has the BEST Reputationdeb_U_taunt Has the BEST Reputationdeb_U_taunt Has the BEST Reputationdeb_U_taunt Has the BEST Reputationdeb_U_taunt Has the BEST Reputationdeb_U_taunt Has the BEST Reputationdeb_U_taunt Has the BEST Reputationdeb_U_taunt Has the BEST Reputationdeb_U_taunt Has the BEST Reputationdeb_U_taunt Has the BEST Reputation
Default

Absolute worst.

"Wanna come over to my house to play checkers? I will jump you and you can jump me?"
deb_U_taunt is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 9 Users Say Thank You to deb_U_taunt For This Useful Post:
Old 09-17-2011, 01:02 PM   #4
Greyson
Infamous Member

How Do You Identify?:
Transmasculine/Non-Binary
Preferred Pronoun?:
Hy (Pronounced He)
Relationship Status:
Married
 

Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: SF Bay Area
Posts: 6,589
Thanks: 21,132
Thanked 8,153 Times in 2,006 Posts
Rep Power: 21474858
Greyson Has the BEST ReputationGreyson Has the BEST ReputationGreyson Has the BEST ReputationGreyson Has the BEST ReputationGreyson Has the BEST ReputationGreyson Has the BEST ReputationGreyson Has the BEST ReputationGreyson Has the BEST ReputationGreyson Has the BEST ReputationGreyson Has the BEST ReputationGreyson Has the BEST Reputation
Default

Eternal Pleasure


Even if Nina Bangs is her real name, there’s just no excuse. Get a pen name.

Eleven Gods of the Night are incarnated for the first time in 65 million years, summoned to protect humanity from an all-encompassing evil that is coming in 2012, at the end of the Mayan calendar. While currently incarnated as deadly, handsome men, they have the ability to assume their prior forms—those of gigantic dinosaurs. One of them, Ty Endeka, develops a powerful attraction to his taxi driver, Kelly Maloy, with whom he must fight the forces of evil–and of desire. Save a Brontesaurus. Ride these guys.

__________________________________________________ ______________


This is my personal fave. My girlfriend and I cracked up, "Nina Bangs." Of course the fight between evil and desire resonated with me. I just got to laugh about some of ths stuff, sometimes.
__________________
Sometimes you don't realize your own strength
until you come face to face with your greatest weakness. - Susan Gale
Greyson is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 7 Users Say Thank You to Greyson For This Useful Post:
Old 09-17-2011, 01:18 PM   #5
*Anya*
Infamous Member

How Do You Identify?:
Lesbian non-stone femme
Preferred Pronoun?:
She, her
Relationship Status:
Committed to being good to myself
 

Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: West Coast
Posts: 8,258
Thanks: 39,306
Thanked 40,457 Times in 7,283 Posts
Rep Power: 21474858
*Anya* Has the BEST Reputation*Anya* Has the BEST Reputation*Anya* Has the BEST Reputation*Anya* Has the BEST Reputation*Anya* Has the BEST Reputation*Anya* Has the BEST Reputation*Anya* Has the BEST Reputation*Anya* Has the BEST Reputation*Anya* Has the BEST Reputation*Anya* Has the BEST Reputation*Anya* Has the BEST Reputation
Default One of worst pick-up line ever:

"If your left leg was Thanksgiving and your right was Christmas, would you mind if I visited you between the holidays?"

__________________
~Anya~




Democracy Dies in Darkness

~Washington Post


"...I'm deeply concerned by recently adopted policies which punish children for their parents’ actions ... The thought that any State would seek to deter parents by inflicting such abuse on children is unconscionable."

UN Human Rights commissioner
*Anya* is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 8 Users Say Thank You to *Anya* For This Useful Post:
Old 09-17-2011, 08:55 PM   #6
SoNotHer
Senior Member

How Do You Identify?:
Professional Sandbagger and Jenga Zumba Instructor
 

Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: In the master control room of my world domination dreams
Posts: 2,811
Thanks: 6,587
Thanked 4,736 Times in 1,409 Posts
Rep Power: 21474851
SoNotHer Has the BEST ReputationSoNotHer Has the BEST ReputationSoNotHer Has the BEST ReputationSoNotHer Has the BEST ReputationSoNotHer Has the BEST ReputationSoNotHer Has the BEST ReputationSoNotHer Has the BEST ReputationSoNotHer Has the BEST ReputationSoNotHer Has the BEST ReputationSoNotHer Has the BEST ReputationSoNotHer Has the BEST Reputation
Default Oh, those are are good...

Y'all are making me laugh :-).... So here's a couple for you:

"Why don't you sit on my lap?... we can talk about the first thing that pops up."

"That shirt is very becoming on you. If I was that shirt I'd be comming on you too."

"How do you like your eggs in the morning?"
__________________
"In the depth of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer." ~ Albert Camus
SoNotHer is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 6 Users Say Thank You to SoNotHer For This Useful Post:
Old 09-19-2011, 06:55 AM   #7
JAGG
Infamous Member

How Do You Identify?:
Butch
Preferred Pronoun?:
JAGG
Relationship Status:
=)
 
1 Highscore

Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Tulsa (cat free zone)
Posts: 6,093
Thanks: 18,651
Thanked 17,531 Times in 4,137 Posts
Rep Power: 21474858
JAGG Has the BEST ReputationJAGG Has the BEST ReputationJAGG Has the BEST ReputationJAGG Has the BEST ReputationJAGG Has the BEST ReputationJAGG Has the BEST ReputationJAGG Has the BEST ReputationJAGG Has the BEST ReputationJAGG Has the BEST ReputationJAGG Has the BEST ReputationJAGG Has the BEST Reputation
Default

Ok this really happened to me. Hahaha this real drunk and equally as scary looking woman tells me. " I'm not staring at you, I'm blind in my right eye!
__________________
I don't want to spend my life with someone I can live with, I want to spend my life with someone I can't live without.
JAGG is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 6 Users Say Thank You to JAGG For This Useful Post:
Old 09-19-2011, 07:24 AM   #8
macele
Member

How Do You Identify?:
a bold-assed maximus
Preferred Pronoun?:
she
 

Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: mississippi
Posts: 1,066
Thanks: 3,178
Thanked 3,231 Times in 847 Posts
Rep Power: 21474850
macele Has the BEST Reputationmacele Has the BEST Reputationmacele Has the BEST Reputationmacele Has the BEST Reputationmacele Has the BEST Reputationmacele Has the BEST Reputationmacele Has the BEST Reputationmacele Has the BEST Reputationmacele Has the BEST Reputationmacele Has the BEST Reputationmacele Has the BEST Reputation
Default

i had been working very hard to get her to like me. i say, do i turn you on just a little a bit? she says, oh yeah. i could just slide right off this chair. ... as they say, she may have been out of my league lol.

i like silly sweet pick up lines. but not really to those i don't know. i have a friend that i will randomly say to ... do you sleep on your stomach? can i? ... makes her smile lol.

mathematics makes great lines: i'd love to find the slope of your curve.
macele is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to macele For This Useful Post:
Old 09-19-2011, 07:37 AM   #9
*Anya*
Infamous Member

How Do You Identify?:
Lesbian non-stone femme
Preferred Pronoun?:
She, her
Relationship Status:
Committed to being good to myself
 

Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: West Coast
Posts: 8,258
Thanks: 39,306
Thanked 40,457 Times in 7,283 Posts
Rep Power: 21474858
*Anya* Has the BEST Reputation*Anya* Has the BEST Reputation*Anya* Has the BEST Reputation*Anya* Has the BEST Reputation*Anya* Has the BEST Reputation*Anya* Has the BEST Reputation*Anya* Has the BEST Reputation*Anya* Has the BEST Reputation*Anya* Has the BEST Reputation*Anya* Has the BEST Reputation*Anya* Has the BEST Reputation
Default CIJS:

Great thread! Makes me laugh outloud, especially since most of us have had so many bad lines used on us!

Carry on!
__________________
~Anya~




Democracy Dies in Darkness

~Washington Post


"...I'm deeply concerned by recently adopted policies which punish children for their parents’ actions ... The thought that any State would seek to deter parents by inflicting such abuse on children is unconscionable."

UN Human Rights commissioner
*Anya* is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to *Anya* For This Useful Post:
Reply


Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -6. The time now is 06:00 PM.


ButchFemmePlanet.com
All information copyright of BFP 2018