There was this one time...

[Hollylane]

There was this one time....

Tell your quirky story here, whatever it is.....

Rule:
Be kind to each other.

I'll start with a true experience example:

Years ago, I went on a few dates with a butch woman, and there was this one time when she had given me her leather jacket so I could ride on the back of her Harley in comfort. I thought it was quite chivalrous, and I was impressed.

Up until that point, I had found her personality a little over the top and not very interesting. It was her show, and she seemed to have very little interest in anything about me. But, when I got off her Harley at the restaurant, my legs were trembling, and I was feeling really excited.

After watching the way she treated the waitstaff in the restaurant (dismissive, without kindness or dignity, and leaving no tip), I realized the excitement and the trembling legs were caused by the vibrations of the bike.

[SoNotHer]

I am inspired and will post in this thread when I have the right story. I like it :-)

[Gemme]

If no one comes in here and posts a 'one time, at band camp' story, I'm going to pout.

[ruby_woo]

Originally Posted by Gemme

If no one comes in here and posts a 'one time, at band camp' story, I'm going to pout.

I went to band camp but nothing more scandalous than sunburn took place.

I did have to start my first day of high school with an awful farmer's tan because of it. #boring

[Rockinonahigh]

this isnt band camp,but a stroy about my younger teenage rodeo days.It was all the rage to ride in queens contest at the state fairs and rodeos when they were in the towns and small cityes in the area.This happened to me...yes I said me....at the four States Fair and Rodeo in Texarkanna Ark.The contest ran over the three days of the events so on the last night the judges had a question and anser session in frount of a full house in the stands,We were to do a bit of a pattern to show horsemanship abilities then line up in a desidnated spot,when we all were done rideing then we rode up to the judges..got off the horse and walked to the judge to anser a couple of questions.When my turn came up I quietly rode to the judge,got off and said hello then he ask me the question I had picked.All went really good till I had to remount my horse.The old boy(the horse) was a bit tall for my 5'5" body so I had to do a bit of a jump for the sturrip..as luck would have it I got the sturrip on the first jump...then trouble begain....when I awung my leg over the saddle to finish getting on.RRRRRRRIIIIIIIPPPPPPPPPP! I split my cherry red lame' pants from the back belt loop to the bottom of the zipper.Dont panic said my calm mind( I was thinking OOOO SHIT!)..I calmy sat down,smilled at the judge and waved to the croud like I didnt have a care in the world.All I can say is I am dam glad I wore a pair if cherry red silk undies that day.I didnt win it but came in first runner up.

[Hollylane]

Originally Posted by Gemme

If no one comes in here and posts a 'one time, at band camp' story, I'm going to pout.

There was this one time at band camp that I was captaining the flag line, and one of the girls was missing from the formation, I found her. Sadly, she was shining something/someone behind the bleachers. When the band director and I walked up she got so scared she threw up.

It was probably a combined reaction to seeing the band director, and seeing me, the girlfriend of the one being shined, and also her best friend.

Meh, she did me a favor.

There you go, a true "one time at band camp" story.

[SoNotHer]

I did go to band camp but have no story like the last one, which made me laugh out loud. :-)

Quirky has happened for sure. But the story I came back to with this was the one that most reminded me of the first story and how an early impression of someone changed dramatically. In fact there are three stories that remind me of this, but I'll relay the most dramatic one.

I was excited to be part of a national writing conference that's held every summer and particularly excited to be studying with a renowned poet and professor of poetry. He is considered one of the foremost experts on the history and development of poetry, and he's widely published and known.

So imagine my sadness when he turned out he was a pompous ass who enjoyed tearing down every poem and poet in the workshop, which actually was filled with a select group of very talented individuals from across the country.

When he got to one of poems, he began to eviscerate it as had done the others, intermixing scathing commentary with long, irrelevant excursions into whatever tangential topic came to him. He used a lot of our paid workshop time to go down whatever road interested him, and he was clear disdainful and more than mildly irritated to have to read the work of 'lesser poets.'

He began to rift long and hard on a word I had chosen the wrong spelling and was sucking in a deep hit of air to continue the protracted upbraiding of the word, poem and poet, when I realized neither the relationship with this person as my mentor at that program or the workshop itself was salvageable to me. And then I did something no one else in the workshop had done.

In one sudden move, I took the flat of my hand and slapped it hard against the over-sized conference table, interrupting him. And then I said, "Can we just say that I misspelled that word and see if anything else from the poem can be discussed if that's now even possible?"

There was a profound silence in the room, and the tone of the workshop shifted from that point forward. The relationship with this person I revered was in fact severed, but what I gained was a different relationship with the poets with whom I studied, some of whom thanked me afterwards and shared something quite positive about my poetry - something they had been afraid to share in workshop.

Things change for sure, and some times some part of you shows up that you weren't even expecting to show up. And that's OK. And maybe it's even more than OK.

[JAGG]

I'm afraid I have had so many misadventures in my life, I could fill 20 pages on this thread and still think of more. hahaha However I try to refrain from amusing others at my own expense. haha

[ruby_woo]

I think I briefly mentioned this in the Awkward Moment thread, but might as well tell the whole story.

I moved to San Francisco not long before my 19th birthday and lived there for about 3 years. I really love the city, so I go back to visit every so often. Last time I went back, I had packed this purple and cream coloured vintage dress. It's cute but stretchy and comfy, so I decided to wear it on the plane ride back to Vancouver.

At the airport, I'd stopped at the bathroom and when I was done I grabbed my bag, and went to find my gate. I was walking for a quite awhile before I realized it was a bit breezy back there. I'd tucked my skirt into my undies, and walked through the damn airport like that, and NO ONE TOLD ME.

The crappy part was I wanted to get some food, but that involve walking back past the folks who just gotten a good view of my butt. After awhile I was hungry enough that I said "Fuck it, they've already seen my underwear" so I went back, but yeah... that was fun.

[Library_girl]

So this one time at Girl Scout camp..... (no band camp, but it's my only camp reference!)

Ok, not really a camp story.

It was my first day at my current job. After a couple of hours with my new, very intimidating boss, and a couple more hours of intense training and note-taking, I finally got a few minutes to break away. I desperately needed a cigarette. So I went out to my car and enjoyed a very delicious smoke. Then just as I was about to walk inside, it hit me: I just locked my keys in my car! Dammit! I'm 2000 miles from home and I've just moved here about 3 days before. I don't know anyone, and I'm expected back inside and ready to learn about 384 new things today. Instead I have to confess that I'm really a moron and I need the yellow pages, and by the way, where am I? Lovely first impression!

[funkyfemme]

After completing the Surgical Technology program with my best friend, we landed jobs at the same hospital and had to go thru orientation together shortly after we started. They had someone from each department come in and tell a lil bit about what they do blah blah blah. Some of it was mind-numbing and made for a loooooong three days. At some point, an older lady, prolly in her 60s, came in and she had braces and fire red dyed hair and was just killing us with her monotone voice. I couldn't even tell ya what department, she was that boring. Anyhooo, she's rambling on and on and all of a sudden one of the rubberbands on her braces popped and stung her lip!! She paused and said "excuse me" then turned her back to us to hook that rubberband up then turned back around was as red as her flippin hair and continued like nothing happened! Forgetaboutit!!!!! I was DONE after that!! My friend and I could not stop laughing!! That hard ass laughing where you can only shake and nothing comes out and you're all red and your stomach hurts. IDK maybe you had to be there but man, that shit was funnnnnnnnyyyyyyyyyyy!!!!!!! That was about five yrs ago and we STILL talk about that!

[jac]

There was this one time...
I was in the beginning stages of training in martial arts, a novice (early 90s) and was in the middle of a sparring class with several others. We had all been jumping from one fight to the next at the command of our instructor. It was getting exhausting and I was fighting one of the toughest women in the place. The match had gotten rather heated and she had nailed me in the ribs taking the breath right out of me. Along the sidelines were some other students that were sitting around either tired or finished with their matches. There was this one woman (an ER doctor) we called Doc who was sitting watching with legs crossed. The woman I was fighting waited till I was almost with breath in me again and nailed me in the back of the head with a round kick. I heard someone say as I was falling to what I thought was soon to be the ground, "End it!" The woman fighting me (I heard about this later) took one finger to the back of my head and pushed me... It didn't take much at this point... I was falling already passed out... face first down Doc's cleavage and right into her lap. Face plant and passed out in her crotch! Being a lesbian it was forever before I stopped hearing about how I went down on Doc.... oy! lol

[Parker]

Originally Posted by Hollylane

I realized the excitement and the trembling legs were caused by the vibrations of the bike.

I gotta ask - did you immediately go out and get your own bike after that?


I'll come back as well when I think of a good story.

[WomenMoveMe]

When younger, I had a kabillion jobs. Okay, maybe about twenty or so, but a lot just the same. At one point I decided to try my hand at waitressing. It was not that I wanted to carry people's food around, but I had exhausted so many other forms of employment, I decided, why not?

I was living in South Florida and got a job at an expensive restaurant in Golden Beach on the intercoastal. I was paired with another. She took the order, I did the running.

We were busy almost every night. However, one night, it was just insane. I got 'in the weeds' (behind) quite a bit and became a little manic as I tried to catch up. At one of my tables was a very nice, Latin American family. They spoke no English and I spoke no...wherever they were from. The parents were very well put together, with a very handsome son of ten. I know he was ten because it was his birthday and I was to deliver a cake to the table after their meal.

Jittery from the panic of being in the arrears, I was trying my best to get the cake to them. I had to transfer the cake from it's cardboard platform to a raised silver serving plate. I managed that quite well and put the candles in place. I was anxious to get the cake to them so as to tend to all the other patrons that were demanding my immediate attention. As I rushed to the table, cake in hand, candles lit, I sorta slipped or tripped or something and inadvertently squashed against the cake.

It smashed the candles down in to the cake and the writing on the cake that had read, 'Feliz Cumpleanos', now read 'iz pleanos'. My apron now read 'leF muC" in green frosting. I was so behind, I decided to just go with it. As if they weren't going to notice!

I took the cake to the table, offering my biggest and best smile as if that might overshadow this disaster of a cake and they might not notice something was amiss. I offered a quick 'Happy Birthday' as they all just stared at me. They were so sweet they even tried to return my overzealous smile. The father said something and as I did not understand it, I didn't even have to pretend I didn't. It really was kind of a pathetic moment for all concerned and I felt terrible.

I did not last much longer as a professional waitress. Turns out, it just wasn't for me.

[tapu]

There was this one time when I was hiking in Big Sur with a few gay guy friends and we passed by a little straight family headed the other way.

It was hot and both my companions and I were wearing nothing more than shorts, white A-shirts, and hiking boots.

Moments after we passed the family, their little boy, maybe 5 years old, called out, "That one guy was a lady! I know 'cause I saw her boobies!"

[Parker]

My mom and I were just chatting about spirits, etc and it reminded me of how there was this one time, not too long ago, when it was late at night and I was taking out the trash. On my way back into the house, I clearly heard someone say, in what can only be described as a stage whisper, "Help ... me."

There was no one there.

[tapu]

Then there was this one other time, in a Big Sur camp, when my gay-guy friend turned left to go into the men's bathroom, and I turned right and went into the women's.

These two elderly ladies went into and then immediately came flying out of the men's room, laughing and blushing and hiccuping and saying, "Oh, my, we thought that young was a fella!"

In all fairness, my head was shaved and Kevin was a bit of a nelly boy....

[Parker]

lol, tapu just reminded me of how there was this one time when I was living in San Diego and I was at the Ferry Landing in Coronado waiting to head across the Bay to downtown SD but I wanted to visit the restroom first.

I was headed towards the ladies restroom, of course, when this little old woman came out, took one look at me, and then stood in the doorway refusing to let me in because she thought I was a man.

I was about to offer to flash my tits when she figured it out and let me pass.