Kids Say The Darndest Things.....

[Diva]

There was a guy on TV when I was a child.....Art Linkletter. He had a show which, I guess, was the predecessor to our Ellen DeGeneres show, et al.

Among other things, he would interview children....it was hysterical. Well...he wrote a book using the title of the thread.

Kids DO say the cutest, funniest, oddest things.......so if You have "Kid Quotes"...this is the place!

Have fun!

[Diva]

In 1996, I was a middle school choral director....and I also worked with the elementary choirs which fed into my school.

When my daughter died, I got a whole BOX of letters from my students....and among those were letters from the 5th & 6th grade choirs.......

One of those letters read:

"Dear Mz. Hall,

I'm so sorry your daughter pasted away."


OMG........in the midst of all of that pain, came this touch of precious joy.....it still makes me smile and bring tears to my eyes at the same time.

[Words]

My differently abled daughter has a limited vocabulary.

However, she frequently tells B. ''I love you'' whilst completely ignoring me. It's a kind of game...she says it to Hym, I say, ''Hey, what about me?'', she grins, and then (usually) says ''I love you too.'' Anyway, the other day she did this for the about the tenth time in an hour or so so I said, ''Hey, what am I? Badger poo?'' (We get lots of badgers in our garden.) ''Noooooooo,'' she said, ''silly. Fox poo.'' (We also get lots of foxes.) And then she cracked up laughing.

Okay, so it sounds silly, but coming from her - W/we didn't even know that she knew what a fox was, let alone that she was able to make a connnection between the two types of wild animal - it was magic.

Words

[Diva]

I love that story.......<smile>

[Kenna]

My son was a real pistol! When he was about 4 or 5 (?) we were getting groceries...in the check out isle he bumped into a frail little old lady..I said "watch what you're doin' honey"...this cute little old lady responded "Don't worry, he doesn't have eyes in the back of his head."... my little rascal, with his thick southern drawl and big ice-blue eyes, turned around to face her and promptly announced "But my Momma does! "

[MizzSabra]

When my son was about 4 years old, we went into the 7-11 in Fairfax (small town in West Marin), there were 2 cop cars in front of the store. We got out of our car the same time the cops did.....my son walks up to them and tells them "the donuts and coffee are against the back wall." I SWEAR I have never said anything to my kids about cops and donuts. The cops give me a smile and hold the door open for me and my kids.....all the while chuckling to each other about it. I was MORTIFIED.

[christie]

My son attended the same elementary school as I did.

The crotchety ole Ms. Dobbins was STILL teaching - and as luck would have it, he was in her first grade class.

On the first day of school, I received a call from her. "Christie, "Bratboy" might have some adjustment issues" (he is autistic). "Oh?" I asked, really not wanting to hear what could have possibly happened on the first day!

"After lunch, he went to his cubby and got a blanket and a stuffed animal out of his backpack (I didnt put them there). He proceeded to find an area on the play mats and laid down. When I went over and explained that he was a big boy now and that we didnt have naps in first grade, he looked up at me and said:

"Who the hell signed me up for this shit?!?!?"


He is SO my son!


Christie

[hottprof]

I do not have any kids at this point in my life.. but these posts really made me smile... Congrats to those of you with kids and grandkids


Smiles

[Diva]

One Saturday morning, my then~partner let me sleep in and she got up to fix breakfast for all of us.....my youngest child, who was still in a diaper at night, marched into the kitchen, her little hands on her hips, and said, "Lynne! I'm a mess!! CHANGE MY PANTS!!!"

When I want to embarrass her today, I tell that story. She gave me a lot of good material!

[Kenna]

Originally Posted by Diva

One Saturday morning, my then~partner let me sleep in and she got up to fix breakfast for all of us.....my youngest child, who was still in a diaper at night, marched into the kitchen, her little hands on her hips, and said, "Lynne! I'm a mess!! CHANGE MY PANTS!!!"

When I want to embarrass her today, I tell that story. She gave me a lot of good material!

LOL that reminds me of a story about my uncle (who's now a Doctor)... The church they attended was very very strict "Old Order" (where the women still don't have a say in things...and the "elders" run the show)... During one Revival meeting, around the time my uncle was being potty trained, several visiting Elders and Deacons were gathered outside near the old out house, my uncle - then a little red-headed fire cracker - stepped out of the "john" with his pants around his ankles and stuck his butt up to an Elder and said "wipe my butt"... Knowing these Elders as I grew up with them, I can just imagine their faces!!

[Pixie]

I used to work for an agency where I took care of children with special needs after school at their homes and just do individual care. Well one of my "kids" mom's birthdays were coming up and she had always talked about trying new foods... Well I had 8 yo gorgeousness with me in the kitchen and I started showing her little ways to help me prepare the food. She looked up at me and asked what this was...so I proceeded to tell her I was lebanese and that we are making her mommy a special dinner.

Her mom ended up coming home early in the middle of us cooking and asked what we were doing and gorgeousness said, " She's teaching me how to cook like a lesbian."

Man the look on her very religious mom's face was priceless... but of course I had some explaining to do.

[Passionaria]

When my youngest daughter was maybe 5, we were grocery shopping before the holidays. And in the back of the grocery store were freezers bulging full of holiday turkeys. She looked them up and down then began to skip up and down the isle singing loudly to the tune of the show COPS:

Bad turkeys, bad turkeys
whatcha going to do
whatcha going to do
when they come for you

Bad turkeys, bad turkeys
whatcha going to do
whatcha going to do
when they come for you

Everyone shopping in the back of the store stopped to chuckle.Pashi

[JAGG]

Wow I could write a novel on the things my "sunshine shadow" Maddie says. She's my extra special niece in more ways than one. She requires a little more forgiveness than most kids need . But I love her for that !
Here's a recent story since I better get going here in a sec.
MY twin took her to an indoor water park a few weeks ago. She's 6 yrs old. and just became a fairly decent swimmer this summer. No floation devises needed now. But we still keep a close eye on her as she tends to have total disreguard for human life at times . lol She is fearless. My sister was waiting in the water at the bottom of a big slide for Maddie to come down , it was about 4 ft to 5 ft deep. When she hit the water instead of swimming over to the side like my twin expected her too, with her head above the water she seemed to be walking over towards my sister. Thinking the water was too deep for her, my twin was surprised. So she asked Maddie, "Oh can you touch the bottom?" Maddie said , " Yes I brought my tippy toes along."

[blush]

I recently received a hand-made letter necklace from a child that said:

"You are the beast"



Who knew?

[FeminineAllure]

Helped Him Cry

Author and lecturer Leo Buscaglia once talked about a contest he was asked to judge. The purpose of the contest was to find the most caring child. The winner was a four year old child whose next door neighbor was an elderly gentleman who had recently lost his wife. Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old gentleman's yard, climbed onto his lap, and just sat there. When his mother asked him what he had said to the neighbor, the little boy said, "Nothing, I just helped him cry."

[owen4u1904]

My daughter is 6, and the other day on the morning news they were talking about adoption and all the kids in haiti. Well, first off, she has a lil sister who does not live with us so here is what she told me....it went along the lines of: Mommy, can I have a little sister who lives in the house because I saw on the news this morning they was giving away the kids for free.

AND ANOTHER...


Monday mornings they have share day at school, so Sunday night we was getting stuff ready for school. She wanted to bring one of her barbie dolls and ken. So when she bought in ken with a barbie doll I asked her if she was putting that barbie in the bag with him. She then looked at me and said in a straight voice, No, these two got divorced I am bringing another Barbie....

[Ursy]

My offspring's current facebook status has had me giggling ever since I caught sight of it last night:

"I had a dream that my school was connected to a sweet shop with pocky scattered everywhere and there was a brand of jelly called Why Wear Vagina Ears? The packet was covered with pigs on springs. The rest of the dream was a documentary on sea snakes then standing on a water boy trying not to fall into a sea full of snakes."

She's 15, and like many kids, is often the funniest when she's not trying to be.

[evolveme]

My daughter was four-years-old and I'd taken her grocery shopping. To this day, I despise this chore, so I'd decided on this particular day to make her my little helper. Instead of riding in the cart as she usually did, I would allow her to walk with me (her constant request), but I would have her select items that she could reach for me from the shelves. I thought this would keep her engaged as well as close to me, so that I didn't have to chase after her.

She thought this was quite a pleasant task for about the first couple of rows but quickly grew weary of helping. We got to canned items, I think, and when I asked her to hand me a couple of items she put her hands on her little hips, looked back at me and said, "You will be paying for my back surgery, you realize."

(Where they get this stuff, I will never know.)

[2myladyblue]

"You're such a nice mother. I think I'll be your daughter from now on."

There was another option??


~LadyBlue

[2myladyblue]

She used to pretend that she was a superhero named Necklace Girl & she protected people from her enemy, Garbage Man by saving things & turning them into necklaces. Mother nature saw this & fell in love with her "sort of" & wanted to adopt her "so Necklace Girl would be her daughter".


~MommyBlue