Unreasonable behavior as grounds for divorce

[Kobi]

There is an article on the front page of the NYT today talking about divorce in England. Apparently there isn't any no-fault option there. There are 5 categories for seeking a divorce - the most interesting is "unreasonable behavior".

Of course, seeing one is seeking a divorce and has to make a case for it using this rationale, taking some poetic license is expected along the way making the behavior even more bizarre sounding than it may have been.

Some actual case examples include:

~ a husband who insisted his wife wear a klingon costume and speak to him in Klingon

~ a wife accused of malaciously and repeatedly serving her husband his least favorite dish i.e. tuna casserole

~ a wife accused of tampering with the tv antenna and throwing away her husbands cold cuts

~ a wife whos control of the washing machine was usurped

~ a husband accused of communicating for 15 years only using post-its

~ a husband who insisted on keeping his pet tarantula in a glass case by the bed

~ a husband accused of changing the channels too fast

~ a husband accused of obsessive attention to detail who combed the fringes of the rugs

~ a wife who hated the way her husband breathed

So I started thinking....IF I was married somewhere where "unreasonable behavior" was the law of the land, what quirk of MINE could my spouse use to accentuate MY unreasonable behavior to effect a divorce. And how would they word the petition.

It's Sunday, so I'm thinking my fictious spouse would use my newspaper reading protocol as grounds for my unreasonable behavior.

The petition would read as follows:

Upon arriving home with the newspaper, the respondent promptly dismantles it and rebuilds it in the specific sequence in which it is supposed to be read, disgarding ads and inserts which are of no interest to her. I have to retrieve these parts from the recycle bin.

She pouts when I take a section to read even when I insist I will return it to its proper place.

She has a look of profound hurt when I do return it but the pages in the section are not neat. I have to fix it, and smooth the edges so it is back to its normal untouched condition before the look disappears.

She shoots me a look of disapproval when I try and share something I am reading.

I am forbidden to attack the paper with scissors to cut stuff out until the entire paper has been read and is of no further interest.

I am deprived of companionship during the reading which can take an entire morning....except during football season when it lasts right up to kickoff. The silence is only penetrated by an occasional unspecified grunt.

She has now put our financial integrity in jeopardy by insisting on buying me my own newspaper.

So, what habit of yours could your fictious spouse pick on and how would they write the petition to make their case?

[Gemme]

I'm not about to write out anything that could be used against me at a later date.

[Quintease]

As someone who genuinely was put in that position, this turned out to be the road I was least likely to go down. The reason being is that anything you write on the petition, is then sent to your ex for her to sign... Obviously things were bad enough without me sending her a list of all the things I hated about her.

In my research into divorce I discovered that having an affair isn't considered an unreasonable enough behaviour for gay divorce. You instead have to prove that his/her affair made the relationship untenable (not that my ex marital partner had an affair).

Unreasonable behaviour divorces are now called 'quickie divorces' in the media as regardless of how badly your ex behaved, you still need their consent to end the marriage.

I have no idea what my fictitious spouse would do to upset me, probably make the pets live outside and eat McDonalds in my presence.

[Soft*Silver]

She has more baking tins in the kitchen that a normal woman has shoes in her closet! Yes she bakes but how many pans and specialty tins does a woman need?

She buys Avon products. Need I elaborate?

She buys 1% milk and pours it into the whole milk container, thinking I wont notice, for my health. I resent this.

She serves cabbage. And even tho she smothers it in cheese and makes it edible, cabbage should not be served.

She will not learn to put air in her truck's tires and even let it run out of gas! She has no concept of automobiles and how to take care of them. She expects me to even wash her vehicle!

She will not buy me fruit loops. I get special k instead. And Cheerios as a snack instead of nachos and chips!

She sends away for freebies over the internet and our mailbox is constantly filled with free energy drinks and adult diapers.

[Hollylane]

I don't have the energy to post in legalese...but here's a few.

She refused to discontinue turning the can labels toward the front of the cupboard, and arranging them by contents and date of purchase.

She would not drink my Folgers. She insists on expensive coffee.

When her mother calls, she does not pay attention to me. My head would have to be on fire, or I would have to lose at least a pint of blood before she would allow me to interrupt their conversation.

She randomly does crazy dances, raps, sings, and invents nonsensical songs about her furkids. This behavior accelerates to a fever pitch, but only when I am cranky for no apparent or explainable reason.

[Kobi]

Oops my apologies folks. This was supposed to be in the fun and fluff section not in the news section. It was supposed to be light, poking fun at the foibles that make us human.

Must remedy this.

[Parker]

Originally Posted by Hollylane

She refused to discontinue turning the can labels toward the front of the cupboard, and arranging them by contents and date of purchase.

Oh god, I totally do this too .... I sometimes even write out the "best by" date on some items so I can find it faster/easier. lol