Funny Shit

theoddz · 12-10-2009, 10:46 AM

Bring it.

I'll go first.

Today on my "Recommended for You" Youtube list....was this:

[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AtWenxwqjAQ&feature=rec-fresh+div-r-1-HM"]YouTube- Linedance - Cowboy Yoddle Song[/ame]

C'mon folks, don't keep those laughs to yourself. This thread is for anything funny....stories, videos, jokes....

Share 'em or just join in the ----->>>

(ya, and now I know you're all wondering WTF I'm listening to on Youtube that THEY think I may be interested in this)

~Theo~

Ms. Tabitha · 12-11-2009, 05:55 AM

[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0ZCoIege8oM&feature=related"]YouTube- Funniest Thing Ever - Hilarious[/ame]

MsDemeanor · 12-11-2009, 09:33 AM

Huffpo has a bit on the funniest protest signs of 2009. This one is my favorite.

I don't know which is funnier, the wikipedia-esque citation note or that "sports nuts" is on this guys list.

PinkieLee · 12-11-2009, 09:58 AM

[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jZkdcYlOn5M"]YouTube- MAD tv - Bon Qui Qui at King Burger[/ame]

PinkieLee · 12-11-2009, 10:16 AM

[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2bmJJu9wWOE"]YouTube- MADTV Chyna skit 2[/ame]

MsDemeanor · 12-11-2009, 10:22 AM

Tabitha,

I LOVE the video. I also LOVE your sig line:

It's Christmas, for goodness sake.
Think about the baby Jesus... up in that tower, letting his hair down...
so that the three wise men can climb up and spin the dradel and see if there are six more weeks of winter.

Jet · 08-08-2010, 09:11 PM

When I was really little like '62-'63
we lived next door to a big family with
real good lookin' kids in high school.

The littlest kid, about 6 years old,
was named Butchie and he was
always hanging around where he shouldn't.

His sisters who were in high school
were gorgeous, and very popular,
and one night his
oldest sister Connie had a date.

So Butch was hanging around the bathroom
watching her get ready to go out. As it happened
the bathroom door was partly opened and he
saw Connie insert a Tampax.

He was a chubby, stocky little kid with white
curly hair and dimples, and he walked around like
he owned the house —real sure of himself.

So he goes into the living room where Connie's
date is sitting on the sofa waiting for her.
And Butch says, "Connie'll be with ya in a minute,
she stickin' a candle up her butt."

Here's remembering childhood, great stories and
the early 60s with Bobby Vee........

AtLast · 08-08-2010, 09:32 PM

A little donor baby (she was about 9 at the time) I know (now an adult) and her little brother (was 5 ) were having a discussion about when they grew up and had kids.

Her brother said, I want a white donor for my baby.

She said, Bob, (not his name), you, idiot, you ARE a white donor!

About a year later, one of their original lesbian parents was transitioning (FtM). Obviously, this was a family in which everything was just talked about openly, including transitioning variables. So......

One day while with her Dad, they were at a fast food drive-thru and had been talking about Dad's transition previously. Right when the the fast food cashier came on the speaker to take the order, she yelled out... Dad, when are you going to get a penis?!
Out of the mouths of babes....

tiggs · 08-09-2010, 03:53 PM

Three mates are down the pub. Bill and Joe are arguing about the amount of control they have over their wives, while the third bloke, Fred, says nothing.

After a while, Bill turns to Fred and says, "Well, what about you? What sort of control have you got?"

"I'll tell you," Fred replies. "Just the other night my missus came crawling to me on her hands and knees."

The other two were absolutely amazed. "What happened then?", Joe asked.

"She said, 'Get out from under the bed and fight like a man!!!".

tiggs · 08-09-2010, 03:57 PM

No Sex

A young newlywed couple wanted to join a church. The pastor told them, "We have special requirements for new parishioners. You must abstain from having sex for two weeks." The couple agreed and came back at the end of two weeks.

The pastor asked them, "Well, were you able to get through the two weeks without being intimate?"

"Pastor, I'm afraid we were not able to go without sex for the two weeks," the young man replied.

"What happened?" inquired the pastor.

"My wife was reaching for a can of corn on the top shelf and dropped it. When she bent over to pick it up, I was over come with lust and took advantage of her right there."

"You understand, of course, that this means you will not be welcome in our church," stated the pastor.

"That's okay," said the young man. "We're not welcome at the grocery store anymore either."

tiggs · 08-09-2010, 03:58 PM

Butt Measurement

A man and his wife were working in their garden one day and the man looks over at his wife and says: "Your butt is getting really big, I mean really big. I bet your butt is bigger than the barbecue."

With that he proceeded to get a measuring tape and measure the grill and then went over to where his wife was working and measured his wife's bottom. "Yes, I was right, your butt is two inches wider than the barbecue!!!" The woman chose to ignore her husband.

Later that night in bed, the husband is feeling a little frisky. He makes some advances towards his wife who completely brushes him off. "What's wrong?" he asks. She answers: "Do you really think I'm going to fire up this big-ass grill for one little weenie?"

12-10-2009, 10:46 AM	#1
theoddz Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Cranky Old Poop Preferred Pronoun?: Mr. Beast Relationship Status: Married Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Central Texas Posts: 3,532 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 11,086 Thanked 9,927 Times in 2,505 Posts Rep Power: 21474855	Funny Shit Bring it. I'll go first. Today on my "Recommended for You" Youtube list....was this: [ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AtWenxwqjAQ&feature=rec-fresh+div-r-1-HM"]YouTube- Linedance - Cowboy Yoddle Song[/ame] C'mon folks, don't keep those laughs to yourself. This thread is for anything funny....stories, videos, jokes.... Share 'em or just join in the ----->>> (ya, and now I know you're all wondering WTF I'm listening to on Youtube that THEY think I may be interested in this) *~Theo~*

08-08-2010, 09:11 PM	#7
Jet Timed Out - TOS Drama How Do You Identify?: .. Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: .. Posts: 3,471 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 292 Thanked 2,647 Times in 1,293 Posts Rep Power: 0	A Classic also posted in the child memory thread When I was really little like '62-'63 we lived next door to a big family with real good lookin' kids in high school. The littlest kid, about 6 years old, was named Butchie and he was always hanging around where he shouldn't. His sisters who were in high school were gorgeous, and very popular, and one night his oldest sister Connie had a date. So Butch was hanging around the bathroom watching her get ready to go out. As it happened the bathroom door was partly opened and he saw Connie insert a Tampax. He was a chubby, stocky little kid with white curly hair and dimples, and he walked around like he owned the house —real sure of himself. So he goes into the living room where Connie's date is sitting on the sofa waiting for her. And Butch says, "Connie'll be with ya in a minute, she stickin' a candle up her butt." Here's remembering childhood, great stories and the early 60s with Bobby Vee........

08-08-2010, 09:32 PM	#8
AtLast Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: Woman Preferred Pronoun?: HER - SHE Relationship Status: Relating Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: CA & AZ I'm a Snowbird Posts: 5,408 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 11,826 Thanked 10,827 Times in 3,200 Posts Rep Power: 21474857	True stories.. A little donor baby (she was about 9 at the time) I know (now an adult) and her little brother (was 5 ) were having a discussion about when they grew up and had kids. Her brother said, I want a white donor for my baby. She said, Bob, (not his name), you, idiot, you ARE* a white donor! About a year later, one of their original lesbian parents was transitioning (FtM). Obviously, this was a family in which everything was just talked about openly, including transitioning variables. So...... One day while with her Dad, they were at a fast food drive-thru and had been talking about Dad's transition previously. Right when the the fast food cashier came on the speaker to take the order, she yelled out... Dad, when are you going to get a penis?!* Out of the mouths of babes.... Last edited by AtLast; 08-08-2010 at 09:34 PM.

08-09-2010, 03:53 PM	#9
tiggs Member How Do You Identify?: femme submissive Preferred Pronoun?: she Relationship Status: married and collared to Converse Tournaments Won: 1 Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: canada Posts: 359 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,456 Thanked 726 Times in 248 Posts Rep Power: 2288328	Control Over Wives Three mates are down the pub. Bill and Joe are arguing about the amount of control they have over their wives, while the third bloke, Fred, says nothing. After a while, Bill turns to Fred and says, "Well, what about you? What sort of control have you got?" "I'll tell you," Fred replies. "Just the other night my missus came crawling to me on her hands and knees." The other two were absolutely amazed. "What happened then?", Joe asked. "She said, 'Get out from under the bed and fight like a man!!!". __________________ “The world is not a dangerous place because of those who do evil, but because of those that look on and do nothing" - Albert Einstein

08-09-2010, 03:57 PM	#10
tiggs Member How Do You Identify?: femme submissive Preferred Pronoun?: she Relationship Status: married and collared to Converse Tournaments Won: 1 Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: canada Posts: 359 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,456 Thanked 726 Times in 248 Posts Rep Power: 2288328	No Sex A young newlywed couple wanted to join a church. The pastor told them, "We have special requirements for new parishioners. You must abstain from having sex for two weeks." The couple agreed and came back at the end of two weeks. The pastor asked them, "Well, were you able to get through the two weeks without being intimate?" "Pastor, I'm afraid we were not able to go without sex for the two weeks," the young man replied. "What happened?" inquired the pastor. "My wife was reaching for a can of corn on the top shelf and dropped it. When she bent over to pick it up, I was over come with lust and took advantage of her right there." "You understand, of course, that this means you will not be welcome in our church," stated the pastor. "That's okay," said the young man. "We're not welcome at the grocery store anymore either." __________________ “The world is not a dangerous place because of those who do evil, but because of those that look on and do nothing" - Albert Einstein

12-11-2009, 05:55 AM	#2
Ms. Tabitha Member How Do You Identify?: Hey Lady Preferred Pronoun?: Female Relationship Status: Married ~ 4-1-13 Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Central Texas Posts: 1,440 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 980 Thanked 3,581 Times in 1,040 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0ZCoIege8oM&feature=related"]YouTube- Funniest Thing Ever - Hilarious[/ame]

12-11-2009, 09:33 AM	#3
MsDemeanor Member How Do You Identify?: queer stone femme Relationship Status: Happily married to MisterMeanor, the man of my dreams Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: SF Bay Area Posts: 703 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 165 Thanked 1,853 Times in 511 Posts Rep Power: 2698180	Huffpo has a bit on the funniest protest signs of 2009. This one is my favorite. I don't know which is funnier, the wikipedia-esque citation note or that "sports nuts" is on this guys list.

12-11-2009, 09:58 AM	#4
PinkieLee Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Relationship Status: I need ya boo, gotta see ya boo Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Big Money Texas Posts: 4,708 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 24,309 Thanked 13,074 Times in 3,049 Posts Rep Power: 21474856	[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jZkdcYlOn5M"]YouTube- MAD tv - Bon Qui Qui at King Burger[/ame]

12-11-2009, 10:16 AM	#5
PinkieLee Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Relationship Status: I need ya boo, gotta see ya boo Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Big Money Texas Posts: 4,708 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 24,309 Thanked 13,074 Times in 3,049 Posts Rep Power: 21474856	[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2bmJJu9wWOE"]YouTube- MADTV Chyna skit 2[/ame]

12-11-2009, 10:22 AM	#6
MsDemeanor Member How Do You Identify?: queer stone femme Relationship Status: Happily married to MisterMeanor, the man of my dreams Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: SF Bay Area Posts: 703 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 165 Thanked 1,853 Times in 511 Posts Rep Power: 2698180	Tabitha, I LOVE the video. I also LOVE your sig line: It's Christmas, for goodness sake. Think about the baby Jesus... up in that tower, letting his hair down... so that the three wise men can climb up and spin the dradel and see if there are six more weeks of winter.

08-09-2010, 03:58 PM	#11
tiggs Member How Do You Identify?: femme submissive Preferred Pronoun?: she Relationship Status: married and collared to Converse Tournaments Won: 1 Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: canada Posts: 359 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,456 Thanked 726 Times in 248 Posts Rep Power: 2288328	Butt Measurement A man and his wife were working in their garden one day and the man looks over at his wife and says: "Your butt is getting really big, I mean really big. I bet your butt is bigger than the barbecue." With that he proceeded to get a measuring tape and measure the grill and then went over to where his wife was working and measured his wife's bottom. "Yes, I was right, your butt is two inches wider than the barbecue!!!" The woman chose to ignore her husband. Later that night in bed, the husband is feeling a little frisky. He makes some advances towards his wife who completely brushes him off. "What's wrong?" he asks. She answers: "Do you really think I'm going to fire up this big-ass grill for one little weenie?" __________________ “The world is not a dangerous place because of those who do evil, but because of those that look on and do nothing" - Albert Einstein