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Old 08-30-2012, 10:09 AM   #1
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Smile Do you *want* people to assume you're a man?

In my thread about my doctor esperience, I made mention of the fact that if you saw me, you might assume I'm male. I was asked if I liked the idea of "passing". I replied that I hate that I can/do "pass". What does everyone else think?
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Old 08-30-2012, 11:00 AM   #2
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Seriously.
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Old 08-30-2012, 11:05 AM   #3
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No I do not.

Yes, it is an issue for butch women.
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Old 08-30-2012, 11:12 AM   #4
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i cannot answer for Syr but i think she prefers to be seen as a woman in the world.
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Old 08-30-2012, 11:16 AM   #5
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I shoot for human being first, followed closely by somewhat smart and funny. As long as people are nice to me, how they perceive me is entirely up to them.
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Old 08-30-2012, 11:21 AM   #6
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Smile Doesn't MIT offer gender studies classes?

Quote:
Originally Posted by stephfromMIT View Post
In my thread about my doctor esperience, I made mention of the fact that if you saw me, you might assume I'm male. I was asked if I liked the idea of "passing". I replied that I hate that I can/do "pass". What does everyone else think?
steph did you really go to MIT!!?!! I am just kidding with you.


I am gonna assume that if you are not a man, or identify as a man, then your not going to like being referred to, or mistaken as a man. It is just that simple.

How do you handle it when you "steph" are mistaken for a man?

Another interesting topic...
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Old 08-30-2012, 12:03 PM   #7
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Wink

Snow-Gender Studies doesn't overlap with Physics AFAIK.
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Old 08-30-2012, 12:11 PM   #8
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Um women wear jeans and t shirt too.

I understand the underlying stuff that's going on, but I am real confused why people don't understand the issue of butch women not wanting to be seen as men. Oh well, learn something new every day.
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Old 08-30-2012, 12:16 PM   #9
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most female id'ed butches i know want to be perceived as women. most male id'ed and trans butches i know want to be perceived as men.

clothing doesn't "make" one's gender id. i agree with bulldog...jeans and t-shirts are not just for men.

Quote:
I am gonna assume that if you are not a man, or identify as a man, then your not going to like being referred to, or mistaken as a man. It is just that simple.
this.
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Old 08-30-2012, 12:38 PM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by aishah View Post
most female id'ed butches i know want to be perceived as women. most male id'ed and trans butches i know want to be perceived as men.

clothing doesn't "make" one's gender id. i agree with bulldog...jeans and t-shirts are not just for men.



this.
Put WAY better than I could've/did!
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Old 08-30-2012, 12:22 PM   #11
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i know what charming is talking about, and i know what bulldog is talking about. we are all just different and assuming is most often not a good thing to do.

truth. i like doing tomboy stuff. i'm not a man. i like being a woman. just because i have a ball cap on, ... don't assume i'm male. men don't own the patent to ball caps.
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Old 08-30-2012, 12:26 PM   #12
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I went ahead and deleted my message, I dont want to cause drama in this thread,

What I said was misunderstood and I am sorry, have a good day all

Dressing masculine, I dunno Cajun, I dress in guys jeans,cargo shorts,t shirts, baseball cap, boxers,wifebeaters,v neck white shirts, I buy from the mens section,
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Old 08-30-2012, 12:21 PM   #13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CharmingButch25 View Post
Im confused, If someone doesnt want to be percieved as a man, or masculine why dress so masculine knowing it would cause this problem, I dress masculine but I accept that people will mistake me for a man, because I am comfortable in jeans and t shirts
Question?

What does *dress masculine* mean to you?

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Old 08-30-2012, 12:15 PM   #14
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I am me. I don't give a fuck what others think of me.
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Old 08-30-2012, 01:08 PM   #15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by stephfromMIT View Post
In my thread about my doctor esperience, I made mention of the fact that if you saw me, you might assume I'm male. I was asked if I liked the idea of "passing". I replied that I hate that I can/do "pass". What does everyone else think?
I absolutely hate it. It makes me feel invisible as a butch, but even more and in the grander scheme of things, it makes me feel invisible as a woman.

Just because it is called the men's department, it doesnt mean men are the only ones who own the right to wear the clothing, nor do men own masculinity.

Could I grow out my hair and wear more feminine clothing with makeup and earrings? Sure - but I would still be mistaken for a man, just a man in drag. Even when I was in high school and had long hair, wore earrings, some makeup, and whatever clothes my mom made me wear, people *still* thought I was a man.

It isnt about clothes and it bothers me that people still judge others based on their clothing or whether or not they wear a hat - which is what I get with the stuttered apologies when the person who called me sir stops and takes an actual look at me, seeing that I am, in fact, a woman.

So no, I dont like that I pass as a man 90% of the time, but I am not about to change how I look, dress, stand, or walk just to appease the people who think I should dress, act, look, walk, etc a certain way so that I will be perceived by them to be the woman that I already am.

Btw - this is not at all directed at you, CharmingButch - I would have posted about clothing, etc whether you mentioned it or not - it's the world that sees me this way based on the clothing I wear, not you - we've never even met. lol
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Old 08-30-2012, 01:14 PM   #16
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Question Curious

Steph, I find it funny (not in a ha ha way) that you've not shared your experience on how you feels when mistaken for a man.

How come?
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Old 08-30-2012, 01:50 PM   #17
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Smile

Fair enough. When it happens, and it doesn't happen often, I just gently correct them, by telling them my name.
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Old 08-30-2012, 01:52 PM   #18
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Red face Easy Peazy

Quote:
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Fair enough. When it happens, and it doesn't happen often, I just gently correct them, by telling them my name.


Right?!


That's the polite thing to do


Thanks!
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Old 08-30-2012, 03:14 PM   #19
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Fair enough. When it happens, and it doesn't happen often, I just gently correct them, by telling them my name.
LOL my first legal name is Cynthia yet when I went to get my 1st drivers license they put male on it. Had that corrected moved to NM and exchanged TN license for NM they put male on it just left it that way until I moved to Utah I believe.
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Old 09-04-2012, 11:30 PM   #20
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If I tried to pass I would probably be perceived as a 9-year-old boy, but I do not care about my partner 'passing' personally. My relationship would be with the person not the rest of society.
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