How many femmes are attracted to butches?

[Ender]

I'm looking, but it feels like there aren't many girls who would like to date a butch; and I just feel kind of defeated.

[~ocean]

The youth of today aren't as old fashioned as the "Dance" between butch's and femme's used to be ! But we ( femmes ) are out there ! Be patient

[Deborah*]

I've never dated a feminine woman.

A memory... years ago, I had a roommate who had this dominant feminine friend who fancied me. My roommate would say "think of her as a butch who wears lipstick, she's also rich" and I said "no way am I interested, that's disgusting!" Also is the fact that I don't use people for their money.

Deborah

[EnchantedNightDweller]

[imperfect_cupcake]

Ender, you are in Alberta.
If you moved to Vancouver you'd be swimming in it. Every single butch I know that has moved here from AB has said exactly the same thing
"Holy shit! It's great here for dating!! They *LOVE* butches!"

Then they do a back stroke in dates.

Wrong province, dude.

The femmes are starving here.

[*Anya*]

Originally Posted by Deborah*

>>>snip<<<

I've never dated a feminine woman.

Deborah

My first "real" girlfriend was a femme. She was my best friend and we just fell in love and took it from there.

There was always a sexual charge missing for me but I never could put my finger on what it was exactly.

Then I reconnected with a butch that I had met in NOW after the femme and I ended our romantic relationship and went back to being best friends.

One date with the butch.

She said: "Come here, I want to kiss you".

Knees weak.

Then I knew what it was that I had unconsciously been missing.

Femmes are friends and sisters for me. They always will be.

I always chuckle at the title of this thread: How many Femmes are attracted to butches?

Uh, most all of us that are on this site.

[girl_dee]

i’m attracted to both but only can only be in a relationship with a butch woman

[introverted1]

Me. I'm attracted to butches.

[introverted1]

Originally Posted by *Anya*

My first "real" girlfriend was a femme. She was my best friend and we just fell in love and took it from there.

There was always a sexual charge missing for me but I never could put my finger on what it was exactly.

Then I reconnected with a butch that I had met in NOW after the femme and I ended our romantic relationship and went back to being best friends.

One date with the butch.

She said: "Come here, I want to kiss you".

Knees weak.

Then I knew what it was that I had unconsciously been missing.

Femmes are friends and sisters for me. They always will be.

I always chuckle at the title of this thread: How many Femmes are attracted to butches?

Uh, most all of us that are on this site.

I experienced the same sort of thing. I've been with femmes before, but once I experienced the butch/femme dynamic? It's all I want, now.

[Signmypapyrus]

But aren’t there degrees of butchness? Like today I saw a photo of Kate Spade, and jeez, if she were just a bit more masculine.... ugh yes! Or Cherry Jones is another one.
Granted, it’s down to personality. Like the butches I’ve liked are confident, smart, kind, and carry themselves in a certain way.

Maybe?

[Martina]

This was a post I had a reaction to. I didn't post at the time because it seemed like Deborah was relatively new and we've been there and done that. She is surely talking about her own experience, but this kind of comment is still problematic. Of course, we all have our preferences, and it's completely legit to feel disgusted by some sexual orientations. But when you don't know your audience, even saying "this just how I feel but it's disgusting" is uncool. All of us older folk have heard that more than once from straight people, and we recognize that as homophobia. It's super alienating. How many steps away from I'm disusted is "that shouldn't be shown on TV" or "I don't want that around my kid."

Tell your friends that the idea of kissing a femme is disgusting to you. But telling a group of people you don't know is not right. There are femmes here who date other femmes. I am one. I also, when I date, am someone who dates butches. I don't date trans men because I am a dyke, like a six on the Kinsey scale. I am not disgusted by the idea. But if I were, I wouldn't share it here because there are trans men here as well as people who love the idea of being with them.

I don't know what line we need to walk with new folks coming in. I decided back in February not to react to this. I probably should have.

Originally Posted by Deborah*

I've never dated a feminine woman.

A memory... years ago, I had a roommate who had this dominant feminine friend who fancied me. My roommate would say "think of her as a butch who wears lipstick, she's also rich" and I said "no way am I interested, that's disgusting!" Also is the fact that I don't use people for their money.

Deborah

[JDeere]

Originally Posted by Martina

This was a post I had a reaction to. I didn't post at the time because it seemed like Deborah was relatively new and we've been there and done that. She is surely talking about her own experience, but this kind of comment is still problematic. Of course, we all have our preferences, and it's completely legit to feel disgusted by some sexual orientations. But when you don't know your audience, even saying "this just how I feel but it's disgusting" is uncool. All of us older folk have heard that more than once from straight people, and we recognize that as homophobia. It's super alienating. How many steps away from I'm disusted is "that shouldn't be shown on TV" or "I don't want that around my kid."

Tell your friends that the idea of kissing a femme is disgusting to you. But telling a group of people you don't know is not right. There are femmes here who date other femmes. I am one. I also, when I date, am someone who dates butches. I don't date trans men because I am a dyke, like a six on the Kinsey scale. I am not disgusted by the idea. But if I were, I wouldn't share it here because there are trans men here as well as people who love the idea of being with them.

I don't know what line we need to walk with new folks coming in. I decided back in February not to react to this. I probably should have.

Martina, do you think possibly the poster has internalized homophobia? I have also heard that it exists in the glbt community. What i dont understand is how can someone who is glbt be homophobic?

[Martina]

I have been ewwwed at before by femmes when I was dating a femme. I get that for some femmes dating a femme or any person who isn't masculine is inconceivable.

I think their sexual orientation is different from mine. Queer covers a lot of territory. All good. So I get that that's the way they feel. There's clearly nothing wrong with that. We all have kinds of folks who don't do it for us. But telling others that their interests are disgusting is not appropriate or grown up.

I don't know if it's homophobic, but it implies a limited idea of what butch-femme can be. There is a lot of that around.