~Butch is a Noun~

[adorable]

I just finished this book. It took me all of three hours. It's been a long time since a book has actually affected me in some sort of a profound way.

I don't have the words for it at the moment. Other than what a fucking book!!!

And btw for those who have not read the book butch is actually a noun, a verb, and an adjective...so to be clear this isn't a thread about butch being a noun.

It was given to me today at lunch by someone who considers butch to be their gender. Butch and Femme as gender has just confused the hell out of me. After reading this book I GET IT. I really do. Yay me!

The first time we met of course, it was the topic of conversation and I was using the words the way we use them here. Hy understands those words too since hy was raised here just like I was...but what hy said was, no it's different...and hy wanted me to read this book so I could understand how it's different. So I could understand hym. (you have to read that part fast for effect cuz I'm all kinds of excited.)

Has anyone else read it? There is so much in it. There is so much, IN HERE meaning BFP specifically and all the threads, in it...it's amazing to think of it as bigger then us. US meaning hym and I, and (the collective) you and me. Like, there are other people out there that are like us...(insert spaceship icon here and look up into the sky.)

I think because I am isolated here without a B-F community, that I tend to think of this as an online phenomenon. It exists in here. If I want to think about these things I come in here. If I want to talk about gender or IDs or dynamics or emphasis on differences - this is the place.

To have someone else now, right here, right now that says they get it and not only do they get it, they get ME because we both are these strange ducks in a heard of geese that have always lived in this bizarre queerfriendlybutnotreallyinclusiveexclusive city is beyond awesome. We just can't stop talking to each other. How freaking impossible is it to find another one - in the same situation, with the same questions, with the shared experiences of knowing we weren't like anyone else here? <--rhetorical.

Ok so the actual point of this thread would be to discuss this book if you've read it. Or if you have read another book that helped you get something about butch femme or gender or yourself - spill it. I sense a reading rampage about to happen for me.

This book inspired me to buy a pair of faux snakeskin 6 inch heels. I don't know what that means yet. But it's exciting to really get in a meaningful way all that butch is and isn't, unless it is or it's not. Because we know, except we don't, even though we all talk about it, unless we don't and then it is or it isn't.

Fucking.

Brilliant.

[Gemme]

Forget Oprah, you've sold me.

I haven't read it...yet. But I look forward to hearing what others have to say that did read it.

[Toughy]

I read it when it first came out several years ago. I've met Bear and been at a couple of readings he has done.

It's a great read, with some funny stories.

I am always amazed when folks are new to this idea of gender not being connected to biological sex. I've been having this conversation for at least 10 years.

[Soon]

Read it--liked it--affirmed some things about myself and others whom I have datred...it's awesome how some can put our experiences into words!

[Strappie]

I think I should read this book.. sounds interesting or confusing however you see it.. lol

[Write14u]

Adorable, good thread.
When a friend gave me this book, I remember having the "wow" moment that other people think the way I do. I enjoyed reading it, and I've read it several times.

[Toughy]

I would also highly recommend S/He by Minnie Bruce Pratt.

[MsMerrick]

Read it, back when it came out ..heard Bear read it .... Great presentation, if you get a chance ever.. don't miss a reading or performance by Bear : )

[MsMerrick]

Originally Posted by Toughy

I would also highly recommend S/He by Minnie Bruce Pratt.

Oh yes, seriously yes .. Great book !

[The_Lady_Snow]

I am a great admirer of Bear, with that book zi was able to influence and perhaps teach the younger generations about etiquette, life experience and the honor of being intimate with your opposite.

Bear will be in Columbus zi is our key speaker for the trans conference!!!!

Every one queer should read it I feel, but that is just my way of thinking



PS

Yes Toughy!!! Great great book!

[adorable]

I would love to meet Bear - Toughy you are lucky! Merrick too. I bet a presentation would be great.

One part of the book that I really loved was when Bear spilled apple juice on hys shirt so that hy could take it off and play.

When I was 5 or 6, my cousin who was a year older and I would play house. I was always the husband because I was taller. So I would go to work while she stayed home and cooked little debbie snacks. She packed my lunch and would hand me the container and kiss me on the lips when I left for the day. Then when I got home, 30 seconds later, she was so excited to see me that she would run and jump into my arms. "My husband is home!!" she would squeal it. We could do that for hours. My other jobs were taking out the garbage and fixing her easy bake oven.

Then one day she didn't kiss me. She said she couldn't because it was guy.
I'm sure that someone told her it was actually GAY but we didn't know what gay was so we assumed what they had said was "guy". LMAO! And she knew by the way that they said that being guy was bad....sooo not wanting to be guy, we couldn't kiss or hug anymore so we just ended our otherwise happy marriage. To this day she is my least favorite cousin.

[tiggs]

I haven't read 'Butch is a noun' but from what everyone is saying I think I may have to pick up a copy!

One book that truly touched me was Leslie Fienbergs 'Stone Butch Blues'. I had picked up a copy of the book because of someone I worked with at the time. This was before I had ID'd as femme or had a real understanding of what butch or femme even was. To say the least the book touched my heart. There were so many 'oh my gosh' and 'light bulb' moments when I read the book that I simply couldn't put it down. When I finally finished reading the book I cried and immediately went on the internet to Hys site just so that I could leave a little note to say how much the book had touched me.

It wasn't long after reading the book that I found BF communities on-line and in doing so found myself. Thank gosh for 'ah ha' moments.

[Toughy]

I actually need to rectify something.

Bear prefers the pronouns ze and hir. My apologies for using 'he' instead of the preferred ze.

[tiggs]

I hope I don't offend anyone and please excuse my ignorance in this but can someone explain something for me?

I have seen and understand Hy and Hym and so on lots but haven't seen ze before, is it gender based somehow? or where does the preferrence for it come from?

Again no disrepect at all intended just would like to understand where/how it is used.

Thanks a bunch

[amiyesiam]

Read it when it came out. Great book, recommend it~

[adorable]

Originally Posted by tiggs

I hope I don't offend anyone and please excuse my ignorance in this but can someone explain something for me?

I have seen and understand Hy and Hym and so on lots but haven't seen ze before, is it gender based somehow? or where does the preferrence for it come from?

Again no disrepect at all intended just would like to understand where/how it is used.

Thanks a bunch

Raises hand!! I can answer...now that I read the book.lol. It is a gender neutral pronoun for butches who do not identify as male or female. But, in the English language, there aren't pronouns for anything other than male or female. Ze is a butch pronoun that works for some and feels more true to their insides.

[tiggs]

ah ha! thank you so much adorable!

[EnderD_503]

I've heard people talk about Butch Is A Noun before, but never got around to reading it. I'll have to pick it up once the TWB opens up again. Apparently Bear is also going to be at Proud Voices at Toronto Pride this year. I was initially invited elsewhere that day, but I think I'll go to Proud Voices instead. Reading through this thread, I think it'll be worth seeing Bear speak.

[TruTexan]

I want to get this book next month. I think it's worth reading.