Corny jokes - Page 7

mythy · 04-02-2014, 12:59 AM

A gorilla walks into a bar and asks for a beer.
The bartender thinks a gorilla, heres a chance to make some money, so he pours the beer and asks for a stupid amount of money.
the gorilla hands it over, and then starts frowning and giving the bartender the evil eye, the bartender thinks shit he looks annoyed al go and talk to him
the bartender sez " we dont get many gorillas in hear
the gorillas sez " at these prices am not fucking surprised.

Gemme · 04-02-2014, 04:59 AM

How did the french fry die?

He was asaulted.

ksrainbow · 04-02-2014, 05:30 PM

Two fish are in a tank. One turns to the other and asks “How do you drive this thing?”

Happy_Go_Lucky · 04-02-2014, 06:51 PM

C0LLETTE · 04-02-2014, 06:55 PM

Guy jumps off Empire State building and on each floor as he goes by, people can hear him say "So far, so good".

Happy_Go_Lucky · 04-03-2014, 07:24 AM

it certainly qualifies for cuteness overload. Doncha think?

The seal is behaving in a "corny" fashion. Good enough for me.

Happy_Go_Lucky · 04-03-2014, 07:27 AM

silkepus · 04-03-2014, 05:00 PM

Did you know the urge to sing The Lion Sleeps Tonight is always a whim away?

Gemme · 04-03-2014, 07:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Happy_Go_Lucky

Nature's photobombs are the best!

What did the digital clock say to the grandfather clock?

Look grandpa, no hands!

Someone said you look like an owl.

Who?

What did one toilet say to the other toilet?

You look flushed.

Happy_Go_Lucky · 04-04-2014, 05:50 PM

ksrainbow · 04-04-2014, 06:31 PM

My mom asks my dad: "what's on TV?"

My dad replies: "dust"...

Dad!!

Candelion · 04-04-2014, 08:08 PM

What did the cat say after eating two robins who were lying in the sun?

"I LOVE baskin' robins."

Happy_Go_Lucky · 04-05-2014, 06:35 AM

Mopsie · 04-05-2014, 07:07 AM

Why did the midget (little person?) get kicked out of the nudist colony?

She kept sticking her nose in everybody's business!

Happy_Go_Lucky · 04-05-2014, 08:07 PM

Jesse · 04-06-2014, 12:28 AM

Last night I almost had a threesome, I only needed two more people!

I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.

A wise man never plays leapfrog with a unicorn.

What goes "ha ha ha ha, *thump*"?

Someone laughing their head off.

Happy_Go_Lucky · 04-06-2014, 06:54 AM

Happy_Go_Lucky · 04-06-2014, 07:22 PM

Candelion · 04-06-2014, 08:10 PM

Me: I drive like lightning.

Friend: You drive fast?

Me: No. I hit trees.

Happy_Go_Lucky · 04-08-2014, 05:31 PM

04-02-2014, 12:59 AM	#121
mythy Junior Member How Do You Identify?: silly buggar Relationship Status: single Join Date: Feb 2014 Location: cheshire Posts: 80 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 55 Thanked 180 Times in 67 Posts Rep Power: 1503252	another daft joke A gorilla walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender thinks a gorilla, heres a chance to make some money, so he pours the beer and asks for a stupid amount of money. the gorilla hands it over, and then starts frowning and giving the bartender the evil eye, the bartender thinks shit he looks annoyed al go and talk to him the bartender sez " we dont get many gorillas in hear the gorillas sez " at these prices am not fucking surprised.

04-02-2014, 04:59 AM	#122
Gemme Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: Queer Stone Femme Girl of the Unicorn Variety Preferred Pronoun?: She, as in 'She's a GEM' Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: The roads are narrow here Posts: 36,631 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 182,498 Thanked 107,925 Times in 25,666 Posts Rep Power: 21474887	How did the french fry die? He was asaulted. __________________ Gemme's Journal I'm misunderestimated.

04-02-2014, 06:51 PM	#124
Happy_Go_Lucky Member How Do You Identify?: OFOS Butch who desires femme company. Preferred Pronoun?: Handsome devil you. Join Date: Nov 2012 Location: Anywhere I want to be Posts: 677 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,203 Thanked 3,365 Times in 627 Posts Rep Power: 21474849	__________________ Hair Pulling...... not just for preschoolers.

04-03-2014, 07:24 AM	#126
Happy_Go_Lucky Member How Do You Identify?: OFOS Butch who desires femme company. Preferred Pronoun?: Handsome devil you. Join Date: Nov 2012 Location: Anywhere I want to be Posts: 677 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,203 Thanked 3,365 Times in 627 Posts Rep Power: 21474849	Not really a corny joke but..... it certainly qualifies for cuteness overload. Doncha think? The seal is behaving in a "corny" fashion. Good enough for me. __________________ Hair Pulling...... not just for preschoolers.

04-03-2014, 07:27 AM	#127
Happy_Go_Lucky Member How Do You Identify?: OFOS Butch who desires femme company. Preferred Pronoun?: Handsome devil you. Join Date: Nov 2012 Location: Anywhere I want to be Posts: 677 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,203 Thanked 3,365 Times in 627 Posts Rep Power: 21474849	__________________ Hair Pulling...... not just for preschoolers.

04-02-2014, 05:30 PM	#123
ksrainbow Member How Do You Identify?: Valued Relationship Status: UNO Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Kansas Posts: 773 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,759 Thanked 2,192 Times in 573 Posts Rep Power: 21474852	Two fish are in a tank. One turns to the other and asks “How do you drive this thing?”

04-02-2014, 06:55 PM	#125
C0LLETTE Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: Depends on the day. Preferred Pronoun?: "I" and "we" Relationship Status: Very good. Thank you for asking. Join Date: Feb 2013 Location: Canada Posts: 11,501 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 16,676 Thanked 15,171 Times in 4,339 Posts Rep Power: 21474860	Guy jumps off Empire State building and on each floor as he goes by, people can hear him say "So far, so good".

04-03-2014, 05:00 PM	#128
silkepus Member How Do You Identify?: covered in ink and glitter Preferred Pronoun?: feminine ones Relationship Status: watching pictures of cats on tumblr Join Date: Dec 2013 Location: Scandinavia Posts: 382 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 359 Thanked 701 Times in 196 Posts Rep Power: 10186797	Did you know the urge to sing The Lion Sleeps Tonight is always a whim away? __________________ I’m here, I’m queer, sorry I’m late I overslept

04-04-2014, 05:50 PM	#130
Happy_Go_Lucky Member How Do You Identify?: OFOS Butch who desires femme company. Preferred Pronoun?: Handsome devil you. Join Date: Nov 2012 Location: Anywhere I want to be Posts: 677 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,203 Thanked 3,365 Times in 627 Posts Rep Power: 21474849	__________________ Hair Pulling...... not just for preschoolers.

04-04-2014, 06:31 PM	#131
ksrainbow Member How Do You Identify?: Valued Relationship Status: UNO Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Kansas Posts: 773 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,759 Thanked 2,192 Times in 573 Posts Rep Power: 21474852	True story... My mom asks my dad: "what's on TV?" My dad replies: "dust"... Dad!!

04-04-2014, 08:08 PM	#132
Candelion Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: she/her/you Relationship Status: He can till my field. Join Date: Jan 2014 Location: Canada Posts: 1,317 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 11,396 Thanked 4,029 Times in 895 Posts Rep Power: 21474849	What did the cat say after eating two robins who were lying in the sun? "I LOVE baskin' robins."

04-05-2014, 06:35 AM	#133
Happy_Go_Lucky Member How Do You Identify?: OFOS Butch who desires femme company. Preferred Pronoun?: Handsome devil you. Join Date: Nov 2012 Location: Anywhere I want to be Posts: 677 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,203 Thanked 3,365 Times in 627 Posts Rep Power: 21474849	__________________ Hair Pulling...... not just for preschoolers.

04-05-2014, 07:07 AM	#134
Mopsie Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: Female ones Relationship Status: Single Join Date: Mar 2013 Location: Shenandoah Valley Virginia Posts: 4,769 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 36,246 Thanked 8,551 Times in 1,856 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	Why did the midget (little person?) get kicked out of the nudist colony? She kept sticking her nose in everybody's business!

04-05-2014, 08:07 PM	#135
Happy_Go_Lucky Member How Do You Identify?: OFOS Butch who desires femme company. Preferred Pronoun?: Handsome devil you. Join Date: Nov 2012 Location: Anywhere I want to be Posts: 677 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,203 Thanked 3,365 Times in 627 Posts Rep Power: 21474849	__________________ Hair Pulling...... not just for preschoolers.

04-06-2014, 12:28 AM	#136
Jesse Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: Transguy Preferred Pronoun?: He Relationship Status: single Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: Central West Coast of Florida Posts: 5,204 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 34,866 Thanked 17,782 Times in 3,940 Posts Rep Power: 21474857	Last night I almost had a threesome, I only needed two more people! I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me. A wise man never plays leapfrog with a unicorn. *What goes "ha ha ha ha, thump"?* Someone laughing their head off. __________________ “You’re so hard on yourself. Take a moment. Sit back. Marvel at your life: at the grief that softened you, at the heartache that widened you, at the suffering that strengthened you. Despite everything, you still grow. Be proud of this.”

04-06-2014, 06:54 AM	#137
Happy_Go_Lucky Member How Do You Identify?: OFOS Butch who desires femme company. Preferred Pronoun?: Handsome devil you. Join Date: Nov 2012 Location: Anywhere I want to be Posts: 677 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,203 Thanked 3,365 Times in 627 Posts Rep Power: 21474849	__________________ Hair Pulling...... not just for preschoolers.

04-06-2014, 07:22 PM	#138
Happy_Go_Lucky Member How Do You Identify?: OFOS Butch who desires femme company. Preferred Pronoun?: Handsome devil you. Join Date: Nov 2012 Location: Anywhere I want to be Posts: 677 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,203 Thanked 3,365 Times in 627 Posts Rep Power: 21474849	__________________ Hair Pulling...... not just for preschoolers.

04-06-2014, 08:10 PM	#139
Candelion Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: she/her/you Relationship Status: He can till my field. Join Date: Jan 2014 Location: Canada Posts: 1,317 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 11,396 Thanked 4,029 Times in 895 Posts Rep Power: 21474849	Me: I drive like lightning. Friend: You drive fast? Me: No. I hit trees.

04-08-2014, 05:31 PM	#140
Happy_Go_Lucky Member How Do You Identify?: OFOS Butch who desires femme company. Preferred Pronoun?: Handsome devil you. Join Date: Nov 2012 Location: Anywhere I want to be Posts: 677 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,203 Thanked 3,365 Times in 627 Posts Rep Power: 21474849	__________________ Hair Pulling...... not just for preschoolers.