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05-07-2014, 11:05 AM
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#241 |
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Member
How Do You Identify?:
Femme Preferred Pronoun?:
she/her/you Relationship Status:
He can till my field. 
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Canada
Posts: 1,317
Thanks: 11,396
Thanked 4,029 Times in 895 Posts
Rep Power: 21474849    |
Two goats are eating old movie film. The first goat says, "Pretty tasty, huh?" Says the second goat, "The book was better."
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05-07-2014, 02:58 PM
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#242 |
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Member
How Do You Identify?:
OFOS Butch who desires femme company. Preferred Pronoun?:
Handsome devil you. 
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Anywhere I want to be
Posts: 677
Thanks: 3,203
Thanked 3,365 Times in 627 Posts
Rep Power: 21474849 |
__________________
Hair Pulling...... not just for preschoolers. 
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05-07-2014, 04:35 PM
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#243 |
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Member
How Do You Identify?:
Valued Relationship Status:
UNO 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Kansas
Posts: 773
Thanks: 1,759
Thanked 2,192 Times in 573 Posts
Rep Power: 21474852 |
Just a few *drive bys*...
HONK, IF YOU LOVE PEACE AND QUIET.
HONK ALL YOU WANT – I’M DEAF. IF YOU CAN READ THIS, I CAN SLAM ON MY BRAKES AND SUE YOU. |
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05-07-2014, 05:05 PM
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#244 |
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Member
How Do You Identify?:
OFOS Butch who desires femme company. Preferred Pronoun?:
Handsome devil you.
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Anywhere I want to be
Posts: 677
Thanks: 3,203
Thanked 3,365 Times in 627 Posts
Rep Power: 21474849 |
__________________
Hair Pulling...... not just for preschoolers.
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05-07-2014, 06:00 PM
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#245 |
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Senior Member
How Do You Identify?:
lesbian butch Preferred Pronoun?:
She Relationship Status:
Single
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: in a one horse town in a large state, in the U.S.
Posts: 3,952
Thanks: 6,112
Thanked 5,266 Times in 1,633 Posts
Rep Power: 21474852 |
what did the french fries say to the chicken nuggets? Let's make a Happy Meal.
hahahahaha corny as they get.
__________________
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05-07-2014, 09:16 PM
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#246 |
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Senior Member
How Do You Identify?:
old-fashioned queer stone submissive girl Preferred Pronoun?:
mermaid, *very* lucky babygirl Relationship Status:
Saltwater mermaid ♡ 
Join Date: May 2010
Location: CA
Posts: 2,209
Thanks: 5,192
Thanked 6,103 Times in 1,727 Posts
Rep Power: 21474854 |
What did the horse say when he fell? "Help, I've fallen and I can't giddyup!"
__________________
Be still when you have nothing to say; when genuine passion moves you, say what you've got to say, and say it hot. D. H. Lawrence 
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05-08-2014, 03:07 AM
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#247 |
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Senior Member
How Do You Identify?:
Butch, Preferred Pronoun?:
People call me by my nic name. Relationship Status:
Not Single, Not Desperate. 
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Florida
Posts: 3,833
Thanks: 4,645
Thanked 4,033 Times in 1,720 Posts
Rep Power: 21474855 |
An 85-year-old man was requested by his doctor for a sperm count as part of his physical exam.
The doctor gave the man a jar and said, "Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow." The next day the 85-year-old man reappeared at the doctor's office and gave him the jar, which was as clean and empty as on the previous day. The doctor asked, what happened and the man explained. "Well, doc, it's like this--first I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried with my left hand, but still nothing. Then I asked my wife for help. She tried with her right hand, then with her left, still nothing. She tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in, then with her teeth out, still nothing. We even called up Arleen, the lady next door and she tried too, first with both hands, then an armpit, and she even tried squeezin' it between her knees, but still nothing." The doctor was shocked! "You asked your neighbor?" The old man replied, "Yep, none of us could get the jar open."
__________________
Faith is not belief without proof, but trust without reservation. It is said, " Some lives are linked across time..... Connected by an ancient calling that echoes through the ages "...... |
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05-08-2014, 03:15 AM
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#248 |
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Senior Member
How Do You Identify?:
Butch, Preferred Pronoun?:
People call me by my nic name. Relationship Status:
Not Single, Not Desperate.
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Florida
Posts: 3,833
Thanks: 4,645
Thanked 4,033 Times in 1,720 Posts
Rep Power: 21474855 |
Four friends spend weeks planning the perfect desert camping and riding trip.
Two days before the group is to leave Rob's wife puts her foot down and tells him he isn't going. Rob's friends are very upset that he can't go, but what can they do. Two days later the three get to the camping site only to find Rob sitting there with a tent set up, firewood gathered, and supper cooking on the fire. "Dang man, how long you been here and how did you talk your wife into letting you go?" "Well, I've been here since yesterday. Yesterday evening I was sitting in my chair and my wife came up behind me and put her hands over my eyes and said 'guess who'?" I pulled her hands off and she was wearing a brand new see through nightie. She took my hand and took me to our bedroom. The room had two dozen candles and rose pedals all over. She had on the bed, handcuffs and ropes! She told me to tie and cuff her to the bed and I did. And then she said, "now, you can do what ever you want." So here I am.
__________________
Faith is not belief without proof, but trust without reservation. It is said, " Some lives are linked across time..... Connected by an ancient calling that echoes through the ages "...... |
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05-08-2014, 06:04 AM
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#249 |
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Member
How Do You Identify?:
Femme Preferred Pronoun?:
she/her/you Relationship Status:
He can till my field.
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Canada
Posts: 1,317
Thanks: 11,396
Thanked 4,029 Times in 895 Posts
Rep Power: 21474849 |
Teacher: Johnny, give me a sentence beginning with "I".
Johnny: I is... Teacher: No, no! Always say "I am". Johnny: Okay. I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.  The teacher sends Johnny (yes, the very same Johnny from the above joke...he`s a bit of a keener) to the map to find North America. He finds it. Teacher: Very good. Now, class, who discovered North America? Class: Johnny!!! |
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05-08-2014, 06:19 AM
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#250 |
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Infamous Member
How Do You Identify?:
Biological female. Lesbian. Relationship Status:
Happy  Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Hanging out in the Atlantic.
Posts: 9,234
Thanks: 9,840
Thanked 34,617 Times in 7,640 Posts
Rep Power: 21474860 |
Corny jokes by Sheldon Cooper
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05-08-2014, 04:51 PM
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#251 |
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Member
How Do You Identify?:
OFOS Butch who desires femme company. Preferred Pronoun?:
Handsome devil you.
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Anywhere I want to be
Posts: 677
Thanks: 3,203
Thanked 3,365 Times in 627 Posts
Rep Power: 21474849 |
__________________
Hair Pulling...... not just for preschoolers.
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05-09-2014, 04:57 AM
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#252 |
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Member
How Do You Identify?:
OFOS Butch who desires femme company. Preferred Pronoun?:
Handsome devil you.
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Anywhere I want to be
Posts: 677
Thanks: 3,203
Thanked 3,365 Times in 627 Posts
Rep Power: 21474849 |
__________________
Hair Pulling...... not just for preschoolers.
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05-09-2014, 06:14 AM
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#253 |
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Member
How Do You Identify?:
Femme Preferred Pronoun?:
she/her/you Relationship Status:
He can till my field.
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Canada
Posts: 1,317
Thanks: 11,396
Thanked 4,029 Times in 895 Posts
Rep Power: 21474849 |
What do you call a musician who doesn't have a girlfriend? Homeless.
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05-09-2014, 09:29 AM
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#254 |
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Infamous Member
How Do You Identify?:
Biological female. Lesbian. Relationship Status:
Happy Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Hanging out in the Atlantic.
Posts: 9,234
Thanks: 9,840
Thanked 34,617 Times in 7,640 Posts
Rep Power: 21474860 |
.....not to be confused with Fussilli Jerry......
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05-09-2014, 05:48 PM
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#255 |
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Infamous Member
How Do You Identify?:
cleverly disguised as a responsible adult* Preferred Pronoun?:
wild woman Relationship Status:
No, thank you. 
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Home in NC..gonna dig in like a tick this time…
Posts: 7,665
Thanks: 15,246
Thanked 27,604 Times in 6,959 Posts
Rep Power: 21474859 |
why did the cowboy get a dachshund?
he wanted to get a long little doggie.... :P
__________________
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05-09-2014, 06:16 PM
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#256 |
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Member
How Do You Identify?:
Valued Relationship Status:
UNO
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Kansas
Posts: 773
Thanks: 1,759
Thanked 2,192 Times in 573 Posts
Rep Power: 21474852 |
The other day I held the door open for a clown. I thought it was a nice jester.
A rule of grammar: double negatives are a no-no. I knew a woman who owned a taser, wow was she stunning! |
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05-10-2014, 05:12 AM
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#257 |
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Member
How Do You Identify?:
OFOS Butch who desires femme company. Preferred Pronoun?:
Handsome devil you.
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Anywhere I want to be
Posts: 677
Thanks: 3,203
Thanked 3,365 Times in 627 Posts
Rep Power: 21474849 |
__________________
Hair Pulling...... not just for preschoolers.
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| The Following 8 Users Say Thank You to Happy_Go_Lucky For This Useful Post: |
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05-10-2014, 07:45 AM
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#258 |
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Practically Lives Here
How Do You Identify?:
Femm Preferred Pronoun?:
She Relationship Status:
**loved by many** 
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Closer to the waves
Posts: 15,420
Thanks: 29,168
Thanked 41,017 Times in 10,768 Posts
Rep Power: 21474865 |
__________________
 kissesA kiss is a whisper in your mouth. Can I borrow a kiss? I promise to give it back. |
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05-10-2014, 08:20 AM
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#259 |
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Infamous Member
How Do You Identify?:
Biological female. Lesbian. Relationship Status:
Happy Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Hanging out in the Atlantic.
Posts: 9,234
Thanks: 9,840
Thanked 34,617 Times in 7,640 Posts
Rep Power: 21474860 |
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| The Following 8 Users Say Thank You to Kobi For This Useful Post: |
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05-10-2014, 11:03 AM
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#260 |
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Member
How Do You Identify?:
Femme Preferred Pronoun?:
she/her/you Relationship Status:
He can till my field.
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Canada
Posts: 1,317
Thanks: 11,396
Thanked 4,029 Times in 895 Posts
Rep Power: 21474849 |
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