Ask a trans person!

[atomiczombie]

Originally Posted by Ol' Jet

I debated on posting this, but I've decided to since I'm going to embark on T in the coming months.

First, this post is for sharing experiences only. It is NOT to challenge anyone, or to start any kind of debate. I'm just putting this out here; if you want to respond fine, if not, okay.

Couple of nights ago, I spoke to a therapist who is a fully transitioned FTM. We discussed therapy and the transition process among other things, one of which was...the absolute hell....he went through in losing so much by transitioning including most of his therapy clientele. He said it definitely had its price and he was emphatic about therapy, being very prepared, and having a solid support system.

He didn't transition until he was 50, which is my case as well at 53. After our conversation, I gave this some thought and its obvious to me that age or being seasoned with life experiences doesn't make transitioning any easier to go through. Yet, I see people in this subculture on T in droves. I'm amazed at how many people are going through this in their 20s and early 30s! And because it's life altering, I would think it would be a load to handle for someone so young who is apt to lose their family, job, friends or creating a crisis with a ripple effect.

I look at transitioning as life changing. I'm 53 with a lot of "life experiences" and I still believe its going to be very hard for me. That's why it baffles me to see transitioning or gender reassignment among people who are as young as their 20s. A friend of mine once said she thought the reason that younger people are transitioning at the rate and the age they are is because, and (brace yourself for this) they can't accept being gay. Is that even plausible? And what kind of therapist would approve of their hormone therapy or reassignment? Without any firm answers, I personally am not sure I agree.

On the note of acceptance, Atlanta is an international city with about 5-7 million people. You would think it would be a more progressive and embrace diversity of this kind, even with Southern Comfort and so on. But I don't see it that way at all; case in point, the therapist last night and 2 other transgendered folks who have had a time of it here. And I lost 3 friends here who were gay men and didn't want me around because I was transgendered. It's one thing not be accepted in a city this size and quite another to be unacceptable in the LGBT community.

I'm not suggesting that paying a high price for transitioning is the rule. What may be really difficult for some, maybe isn't for others. So I would like to know about the road less traveled from folks who have transitioned and the prices paid emotionally, physically and/or monetarily if you want to share. Or ...the flip side which is a great journey full of support and personal fullfillment for you.

Thanks in advance for your answers and for sharing you're thoughts and/or your experiences.

As you all know, I am not yet transitioned but I also plan to start that in a few months. I suppose I am not as fearful about losing friends and family. Perhaps I am naive about this. I live in California, and just an hour outside of the San Francisco Bay Area. I grew up in the Bay Area which is comparably very liberal with respect to the rest of the country. That aside, my folks are very supportive of me, and other family members as well. The christian conservatives on my mother's side of the family actually like my being trans as opposed to being gay because they think gay is the greater of the 2 evils. (*rolls his eyes* whatever.)

I am not working at the moment as I am on disability, so transitioning while having a job isn't an issue. I guess my biggest fear is the reaction of the Queer community, and whether I will be welcomed and acknowledged as a queer person after transition. The worst kind of discrimination is the kind that comes from within your own community. I consider the queer community to be my home.

It is tragic when gay people or anyone for that matter speculate that the only reason you want to transition is not to be viewed by others as gay. That is simply ignorant and disrespectful. I hope no one says that to me. For some reason I don't anticipate it. Anyhow, Jet I wish you well on your journey.